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My Embedded Flower

Unlike so many people I have always been incredibly uncomfortable with my sexuality. It wasn't a subject regularly discussed in my growing years. The terrible sex ed I got at school and the gossip of girls was about all I knew. The idea that sexuality was wrong and something to be hidden still has a slight hold on me. I never dated anyone in high school and to deal with the loneliness I told myself I wasn't missing out on anything. But I've come a long ways from that. I'm getting accustomed to the idea of my femininity, and I ... read more

D.I.Y Brand

Every month a friend of mine has a show in his basement. About 50+ people are all crammed in a super tiny basement/house. His garage is the place to be, because at the time it was about 20 degrees in the good ole state of Michigan, and about 80 degrees in the house. The garage had a space heater and it kept it relatively warm. The garage has an attic and it has a pool table and a few couches. A couple of friends and I had a brilliant idea to get a brand, a few of them have already ... read more

Birthday Cutting

I got my first non-earlobe piercing (eyebrow and nostril) for my 25th birthday. I wrote that up for BME as well! It seems like so long. So much has changed in my life (I've gotten a divorce, for one) and BME itself has changed a great deal also. In the meantime I've gotten dozens of piercings and over a dozen piercings. So for my 36th birthday, I wanted something new. It wasn't hard to pick what design I wanted. I'd recently come up with a sigil for a story I'd been working on; a very simple mandala made up of ... read more

456 Reasons

456 Reasons, a true story. While she sunk the sewing needles into the scarred flesh of my right arm, I remember thinking, 'What was I thinking?'. But by the time she got to the sixth silver pin all of my fears and worries flooded away and I closed my eyes and visualized a bloody haven in my mind. I could feel Vixx smile behind my closed eyes, I could tell that I wasn't the only one enjoying this intimate moment. Perhaps my idea of intimate wasn't the same as the rest of my friends but this was the moment I ... read more

Seraph Wings - large scale scarification

So I had this plan to get wings tattooed on my back since I was 14 or something. Full back wings, and cliché or not, I was GOING to get them one day. But as I got older and had more piercings and tattoos done, and as I read more into body modification I decided that I really liked the idea of having the wings done as a scarification instead. It was a more recent idea, but one that really stuck in my mind. I preferred the look of scalpel work compared to brandings and wanted a more subtle scar ... read more

Cutting away the fear.

I was 18. I had just given birth to a beautiful baby girl. As a single, new mother--I was scared out of my wits. I was terrified everyday of what the next day would hold. I was not used to feeling fear, I've been rather untouchable my entire life. People have often made jokes that I just lacked common sense and that's why I wasn't afraid of anything. I generally assumed, I wasn't afraid of anything because there was nothing to fear, there were only things I had yet to understand. But, in having a baby, this tiny little fairy ... read more

Awesome branding experience; crappy healing

On my 27th birthday, I celebrated, in part, by participating as a demo model in a workshop on branding. It was a pretty amazing experience. The workshop was held at the Citadel in SF (a BDSM space) and taught by Fakir (www.fakir.org) -- I felt that I was in very safe hands. It was a bit strange being watched by so many people, and I did have a little stage fright as I got up on the table. (What if I cried out? What if I totally embarrassed myself in some other way?) But as soon as the preparations began ... read more

A Do-It-Yourself Branding Story

Here it is. The long awaited story. The day I was branded. It all started with the tattoo magazines. Keigan and I had become obsessed with tattoos, then piercings, then body modifications in general. The weirder, the better. Especially do it yourself mods. We had started to build a tattoo gun; however, it had been sitting in Keigans shed for about 2 months with no real progress being made. It was clear that we were never actually going to finish it. Time to move on. I had been reading stories of body modifications when I came across something new... something ... read more

A basic home-made brand

I've been a cutter since I was 14, and while my cutting began from emotional outbursts, as I've gotten older I've become more deliberate and concerned with creating artistically appealing scars. A couple years ago I decided I wanted a largish brand on my inner right calf. This particular decision was part deliberate, but part emotional: I was working a crappy 3rd shift job and needed to release some stress. At this job I also had access to box cutters which I used cut when I was alone during my break periods, if I was particularly upset. One of my ... read more

Tousled Bird, Mad Vile

WARNING: The following experience is the personal account of an unprofessional body mod "artist." I not only recommend NOT trying any of this by one's own self at home, but also suggest a great deal of thought before getting such a modification done by a professional. Do NOT emulate my behavior. By my deeds am I known, and I am known as Vile. This is how it came to be after many years of sneaking around to get my way. In all honesty, I wasn't so great a person as I would lie and cheat and use any means necessary ... read more

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