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TRINITY - Loving and Letting Go

His name was Justin, and he was eighteen years old when he took his own life. Yes, I know, it's a rather abrupt and slightly disturbing way to begin a story about what, to most people, would just a simple (if not somewhat boring) cutting story. But you see, Justin's departure from my life was also rather abrupt and more than a little heartbreaking, the basis for what because a driving need for closure and comfort, and as usual I found it in the strangest of places. By relation, Justin was my cousin. By nature, he was more my twin ... read more

I choose to live

"Are you sure you want to do this? I really think you should give it some thought before you do, after all you'll be scarring yourself for life" This is a question that I have been confronted with for years. My reasons are not common ones; they are certainly not from a place of vanity, ego nor from a place of thoughtless impulse. I can understand why others might consider the idea of purposefully scaring yourself terrifying. It was to me for years. After all I had been through, the scars I boar because of others where my constant reminder ... read more

Cutting to my core

I am a sixteen year old Female from Australia. I have been interested in body modification since before I knew the name for it and much before I had anyone's permission to do it. I am a cutter. I have multiple body piercings and seek many more. My cutting began at age 13 when my depression was only mild; I began using un-sterile objects such as compasses, razor blades, and scissors and knifes to cut myself. Don't try that at home, I am lucky that to this day I didn't get any infections. My cutting began as small shapes and ... read more

Na Ih Es

I am part Blackfoot Indian. You wouldn't know it to look at me, with my paler-than-pale ivory skin, or my light blonde curly hair, but my great-grandmother was full blooded Indian. As a family, we used to go to these Rendezvous things with the Muzzle-loaders. It was where we left all civilization aside for a weekend, slept in Teepees and ate food that was found on the land. I still remember the smell of the campfire and leather, I still remember the painted faces and the joyous memories. Most of all, I remember him. I was young, maybe six or ... read more

The Little Star That Set Me Free

Despite the fact that I am of the fierce "don't modify your body unless you've really thought about it first" school of thought, my first venture into body modification had little or not intellect behind it. In all actuality, it was little more than an act of teenage rebellion, the result of a period of intense "suppression" (as I like to call it) from my family and friends. I had never had the whole "happy childhood" experience, nor had I been raised in a family that encouraged independent thought and / or being unique. My parents were DEATHLY opposed to ... read more

The Intricacies of Healing a Skin Removal Scarification

My original plan was to write a thorough experience about my flesh removal scarification once it was completely healed. It's been six months since I had my skin removed, and the new skin is still red, tender, and raised. At some of the edges, a lighter not-so-raised scar tissue seems to be invading. Besides the small lighter areas, the scar is pretty much the same as it was four months ago. So I figure, I'll just write this now while I have time. I also want to advertise the healing method I used because I think that it was so ... read more

Pain, Pleasure and Perception

'The only difference between pain and pleasure is perception' Out of all the body modifications I have come across, I would have to say that it is scarification that interests me the most. Whether it is because I have self harmed in the past or just the natural beauty of it, I am not sure. What I do know, though, is that it has taken me a long time to choose a pattern to permanently mark upon the canvas which is my skin. After days of looking at pictures on various internet sites and in books dedicated to the subject, ... read more

A Star Summer

I have always been interested in reading about other people's experiences in this area, but I have never been a person who cuts herself before. OK, so I once tried to put a heart onto my upper leg when I was about 13, but it was very light and left no scar whatsoever, and it was just a little silly experimentation, to see what would happen. It hurt though, which is probably why I didn't go so deep. Last night, however, was different. I was sat outside, with a few friends, in the shed (which is basically a 'hangout' for ... read more

Morta ou Coisa Melhor...

Comecei a mutilar-me aos 14 anos. Tudo começou por acidente: parti um termómetro e ao apanhar os vidros do chão cortei-me nas mãos. Nesse dia cortei as mãos com um X-acto... Na verdade, a minha vida de adolescente não corria nada bem, o que propiciou ainda mais o início da minha auto-flagelação. Achava-me horrível, abominava o meu corpo... Tudo em mim era odiável. Sofria na altura de bolimía e anorexia, deveria estar de facto muito deprimida, apesar de não dar conta. O meu irmão tinha acabado de morrer e eu ainda não tinha aceitado a situação. Sentia-me extremamente culpada por ... read more

Yes, $350 can buy you happiness!

It all started about 6 months ago when I got in touch with Lukas Zpira with intentions of hosting him in Buffalo, NY. I have always wanted work done by Lukas and I knew that with my busy schedule that traveling to see him, even when he is in the states was out of the question. Getting Lukas to spot here seemed to be the best way for me to get what I wanted. After speaking with Lukas on IAM, I was told that he wanted 5 appointments to come to Buffalo, NY. I thought for sure getting 5 people ... read more

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