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MY Cutting Destiny

My name is Kim. Like many of the stories here in the wonderful world of bme I will start off by saying i a cutter. While I don't find anything wrong with cutting under certain circumstances it can be a pretty bad situation for people that are unable to handle it. So this story is to give information on my experiences. It is in no way a guide on how to do a cutting. Please do not cut, unless you are certain you can handle it. The procedures I took where very ignorant and should not be repeated. The reasons ... read more

Soldiering Iron Brand

I had always been fascinated with scars, more so the process of getting a scar, and I had done many small "play cuttings" on various parts of my body. I loved what the scar represented, the beauty of surviving the pain. I had also always know of brandings but had never seen one and was very interested in how it would feel to get one, what it would look like once it was done, how it would heal, pretty much everything about them. I knew that with cattle they branded them with the whole design at once, but I rationalized ... read more

Secret Beauty

It all started in seventh grade. I was not the nicest of people, and I got what I deserved. I would treat people like they were lower then me, and make people feel like total crap. Then one day, this boy named Mark stood up to me. He put me in my place by making fun of the way I look. I used to have very crooked teeth, and Mark started talking about me and about how much I looked like a beaver. Every time I would see him, he would say something to make me upset. Soon after, he ... read more

Pain is beauty

I have always been a little different from my friends. They disapprove of my cutting but yet they have scars from obvious self inflicted wounds. They don't cut anymore but I don't see why that matters about me doing it. I've never been able to explain why I cut I do it for several reason. I cut cause I love blood and seeing it flow out of my body turns me on, I cut because I have abandonment issues with my mom, I have anger issues and society doesn't accept me for several reason. I had never heard of a ... read more

how not to attempt my first strike branding but be lucky enough to get exactly what I wanted

Hi well this is my experience of trying to brand myself. I'm a traveller living in a converted bus within a small travelling group. I had been toying with the idea of branding myself for quite some time, I had started winding myself up about it and after a while decided that I would do it. To keep my courage up I went and told all my friends what I intended to do and they all came round to mine to watch. If I had attempted to do it on my own then I would have bottled it. If only ... read more

Wings of Completion

First off, lets start with saying I have been a self harmer since I was nine years old, cutting to me has always been a way of making my body mine. No matter what was going on beyond my control, I was still in charge of my body, my pain, my blood and ultimately my life, though my self harming was never about suicide, as with most self harmers. My whole arms are littered with scars; some have such deep meanings for me that I would never wish them away. My husband was also a self harmer so the act ... read more

Phoenix Scarification

I'm going to start this off with an introduction, and my reasoning behind my choices, then I will get into the details of the experience. I've been fascinated with scars since I was a young boy, and as I grew up, the more I saw, and the more I got on my own body, the more I loved them. Then, a couple of years ago, I saw scarification on bmezine.com, when it was first coming out into the public. Though most of the pieces were self inflicted, or poorly done, they still intrigued me to no end. In the next ... read more

My first tattoo experience!

When I was younger I always knew I wanted a tattoo when I seen the cool girls with the lower back tattoos. I thought they were so cool, so I was determined to get one so I could be just as cool. I started looking up websites on the internet looking at all different types of tattoos from all different sources. I guess you could call it shopping around. So I'd spend all my free time looking at websites and the different artworks from various parlors, and of course one day my mother seen me looking at the website and ... read more

first part of my forearm branding

So about September '03 I found BME on my lunch break at work and was instantly drawn to the Scarification section and was fairly astounded that anyone could possibly go through any of it. I've got several tattoos and been pierced a couple times but scarring seemed unreal. After several months of reading stories and checking for updates almost daily at work(I had no home computer at the time) I became obsessed with branding and what it would feel like or look like with my skin type once healed. It got to the point where I was thinking about it ... read more

Accepting self harm from the harmers view

I self harm, and its not pretty. But I'm not suicidal. Now, I believe it's become a solution in a way. However, it probably won't be right for you, so please, don't try it unless you know what the risks are and its what you feel completely right for you.. take care. In the beginning, it might have been a cry for help. However, as the years went on, the cutting still released the tension, but I began to lose the bad after-feeling associated with it. The scars no longer trouble me. The lines, diagonal, vertical and hatched onto my ... read more

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