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My designs

All my life, I have been depressed. About 11 years ago, I started cutting myself. It was a way for me to gain control when I had no control over anything else in my life. I dont condone cutting at all, and I wish that I had never started doing it, but you can't change the past. I had always looked at websites about other cutters, and read their stories and experiences. One day I stumbled upon someone who wrote about carving a design into their skin instead of just simply cutting themselves. The idea was planted in my mind, ... read more

The kiss of fire

I had never thought about a scarification till I saw my friend Alison come back from San Francisco with a healed cutting. It was beautiful. That's when I started doing research and found BME. But I couldn't find anyone to actually do the branding. I even went so far as to get a torch and some thin gauge stainless steel but the Mrs. changed her mind and said she wouldn't do it. Back to square one. A couple of weeks ago the Mrs. was in the Anaheim Outer Limits getting plugs for her ears. This girl Chrissy was filling in ... read more

Me And My Artist's Virginity

My branding was actually the first time I had ever really delved into the world of body modification. It was a decision I had made years ago due to my lack of interest in tattoo's and piercings. It almost made me feel that if I had gone the route of a tattoo or piercing then I would only be joining a growing list of people who were hoping on the wagon. More importantly I wanted something that would stand the test of time and never be taken away from me. The design I had chosen was from the I Ching. ... read more

Journey By Skin Removal

Thursday November 2, 2006 eleven fifteen pm, in a warm and supportive surrounding was the awsome begining of a powerful skin removal process that by a spontaneous sickining yet life changing realization at therapy that day-(in a co-created safe space revealing itself to and with an intuitive angel steeped with experience and love), alter my views on body modification for me and is helping me to release an abusive past that I unfortunately continue to live with, despising wrestling with visions and flashbacks that I don't want to see and feel anymore. Amazing to me is the way my modification ... read more

First erotic cutting experience

The cutting began for me when I was young very, maybe 10 or 11. It began as a beautiful, but somehow shameful secret form of release and progressed from there into something rather deeper. What cutting became for me is more akin to a ritual or sacrament, an offering of sorts as well as giving a feeling of liberation. It also brings me a lot of pleasure on several different levels: the physical, the emotional, the mental, and the spiritual. There are even times when that pleasure I get from cutting myself becomes sexual. That was an amazing discovery, and ... read more

A year of rememberance.

Those who know me will know of the first branding I gave myself early this summer. Ever since it has continued to bring me joy, and reaffirm my sense of self. It's an anchor, my name on my body, and something cool to show others. However, I was missing something. Well, someone. Matthew. Matthew was one of the most perfect people you ever would meet, and I'm not just saying that since he died. When he was alive he was the best cadet, the best friend and in three years would have been the best pilot. He changed my life. ... read more

Self-done Ink Rubbing on Hand

About three months ago, I became interested in body modification. I had never done anything before that, except for getting my ear pierced, multiple episodes of cutting, and some play (surface) piercings. I kept the idea in my head and looked through all of the possible options, and none of them really seemed very interesting to me. Until I found an ink rubbing. For some reason, the idea itself seemed so... romantic. That I could keep a little bit of something encapsulated inside of me, as if my skin would be a permanent scroll, denoting a part of my life. ... read more

I'm dumb. My first scarification.

***Author's note: self-done cuttings are NOT a good idea. You should always go to a professional, and if there aren't any professionals in your area, do some research for a good, respectable studio in a nearby city*** I have always thought that scars were such an interesting thing. When I was younger, I would always pick my scabs, much to my mother's dismay. She'd complain, "You'll get scars!" I would just look at her and reply, "Scars tell stories." And it is true. Scars do tell stories. I have been wanting a skin-removal type of scarification for about a year ... read more

1st Scarification, and my Magpie

This is my first time writing an experience for BME, so bear with me. It's also been a long time since I wrote anything that was even close to essay format so hopefully this is easy to follow and not too rambling. I've been fascinated with scars for years, admiring them on others, on myself, and never realizing there was a way to create art with scars and make them even more beautiful. After joining BME and IAM a few years back I was fascinated with the cutting procedures but also a bit scared as I didn't know if anaesthetic ... read more

my scars - stars

I always found scars fascinating. Ever since I saw a TV program about body mods. I remember a girl getting branded and me thinking, how fascinating it was and how I would probably never have a chance to experience anything like that. Years passed and the thought remained, until recently. I met Adam at the party. His friend told me, that he owned a tattoo parlor. We started talking about cover-ups (I have a couple of really scary tattoos) and I took his card. We met again very soon, as he did my eyebrow piercing. It was in his studio, ... read more

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