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The Satasfaction of pain

When I was 12, I got very suicidal. My best friend having killed himself ... everything seemed to go wrong. Through my anger towards this I used to cut my arms, every night before I went to bed. I can't seriously remember if this was for attention or not. As I got into this pattern of doing it everynight at the same time, I thought, eventually I would lose so much blood I would just die. Obviously that never happened. Every night, as per any home done mod' the pain just dropped. Until that day when the pain wasn't even ... read more

Blood letting

I guess I would call myself a "cutter." It is an emotional thing. I do it for many reasons. I need it to feel, to know I'm alive. Pain is the last resort, and it is wonderful. After awhile, you get used to it. Instead of crying or taking drugs, you cut your flesh open. You let out the hurt. I was scared at first. I was feeling so horrible about one thing or another. I needed to let out the pain. I used a saftey pin to trace two small lines in my arm in the form of an ... read more

Warrior Couple Ritual Scarification

Back in 1996, I had a very strange girlfriend. To preserve anonymity, I'll call her Junebug. We met at a nine inch nails concert. She was dancing all cute to "closer" and I went right up to her and put the moves on. For the first time EVER, my "moves" worked. I was so happy when I called her three days later and she wanted to go out. She had lots of tattoos and piercings, while I just had one ear, which was the fashion back then (haha). Junie had a black cat on her shoulder, Tinkerbell from Peter Pan ... read more

BBQ fun

The day stared off a little slow. The previous night had been tiring. A visit was made to see my brother's new lady friend at Stigmata the piercing studio where she is apprenticing. After talking for a bit, I decided to have her pierce my nipples. which took longer than i thought it would. after we went to et some pizza. later on we all retired for the evening to watch some really bad movies, the worst of which was "The Reanimator" a movie about a scientist that uses "drugs" took resart the chemical processes of the brain. the rest ... read more

Checking in to See if I am Getting Ripped Off

HE GREAT NIPPULINI!!! I call myself that because I use my GREAT NIPs to PULL INanImate objects. I began my journey about 8 years ago during my piercing apprenticeship, when I first had my nipples pierced. At the time, I started with standard 14 gauge jewelry. Located in Philadelphia, our company began body piercing in 1988 in our Northeast Philadelphia location. We then opened our second branch in Center City at South Street in 1992. We also opened a third shop in a suburb of Philly called New Hope, a small historic area permeated with gay bars and only two ... read more

Truth-torn Flesh

't start out with a project. For that matter, I didn't even start out with a goal. I've found that a lot of people tend to start out that way, in body modification. No real idea of why they're doing it ­ or, if they do, a pretty shallow reason. It looks cool, it's supposed to make sex better, something like that. I was fortunate enough to know those were not my reasons... even if I didn't really understand why I had the urge to let someone stick a large hollow needle through my flesh. I needed it done. Not ... read more

Shamanic Alchemy

ummer, at a festival including the Drepung Loseling monks, I was invited to share their chanting. Having studied harmonic singing, multiphonics, Tuvan throat-singing, I was aware of how it was done. It is a means of masking the fundamental note sung and singing on the overtones, the natural harmonics. But before then I had been unaware of how the focus on living and breathing a sound that requires both utter focus and utter relaxation can affect state of mind, state of being. I began exploring my voice not as a fledgling Diva or performance artist, but as a spiritual being ... read more

Tebori and the art of meditation

rst like to give you a bit of informaton on my complex ethnic diversity as well as my life. My background is both native american and african american descent. Even with so rich a cultural history, I have always been interested in Buddhism as well as Chinese and Japanese culture...hence my love of Tebori tattoo work and Buddhist study. I do not classify myself as any one particule religion or faith). Also, I am a practicing femmedomme, (no I'm not looking for a sub) and have participated in various temporary and permanent body modification processes. My latest ritual experience began ... read more

A ritual for reclaiming what you should never give away.

A ritual for reclaiming what you should never give away. At A Glance Author Kali Artist self Studio bedroom I used to play pierce a lot when I was depressed and feeling repressed and out of control of my life. It was an intoxicating experience which always gave me the feeling of strength to change my life and my sorrows. And I was feeling very horrible about myself. I had been busting my ASS to lost weight and tone up my body through rollerblading and practically starving myself. And I had just sent a nude photograph of myself to my ... read more

Branding By Campfire

always wanted a branding, and pictured it done in a sort of Gorean setting, with the brand heated on a campfire. A few years ago, when I was 27, my then- "significant other" and I arranged to do it. This is not the safest or most sanitary or professional way to do a branding, so I would not recommend it to others, but for me, it fulfilled a fantasy, and the experience was incredibly hot. He had an identity symbol he used with his signature, a sort of squiggly "5" taken (so he said, anyway) from Tolkien's Elvish, which we ... read more

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