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Extraordinary things

The first time you suspend is like the first time you have sex; nervous beforehand, feelings of excitement and yet complete vulnerability, indecisions, and of course...pain. I've built up suspension in my head for so long. I've read a million different experiences and articles and I could barely watch a video of someone suspending without aching with jealousy. So it would obviously come to pass that I would be super excited about finally getting my chance to suspend. I saw the look on Josh's(my boyfriend) face when he got down from the hooks for the first time so long ago. ... read more

Cutting for a virtual lover

I am a Sub. I am here to please others, even other subs. I've known her for three days, and I was extremely horny tonight. So I kindly mentioned how pleasing for me it would be if she asked me to do something for her, and to my relief, she did. She asked what I was open for and I told her pretty much anything, which is true. We've already talked about cutting during sex. She asked me if I'd cut myself, and masturbate for her. I gladly said yes. My heart started to beat fast. I have a fetish ... read more

Resurrect me with four wings

I am not prepared. You easily know it, when you're facing something you're not prepared to, and I had a voice repeating this in my mind. I am not prepared. When I took off my t-shirt I understood that it was too late to turn it back. I am not prepared. Like the first suspension I went through, my mind was screaming at me my lack of preparation. Am I focused enough? Calm enough? Inspired enough? Do I feel my body and trust it enough? And that crying voice keeps on repeating: No. No. No. I lay down on the ... read more

Lotus

How can I possibly put it into words, something like that? I don't even understand it, what happened up there. And I'm really the only one that could. There are just some things that cannot be put into words. The only way to get it is to have been there, and even then, you'd understand it in your own way. I guess all I can do is tell it like it happened. I've long thought that the Lotus is the most peaceful suspension position - meditating on air, like a piece of classic iconography. I figured I had a lot ... read more

First Time Play Piercing. 53 Needles 3-08-08

My friend George (IAM: Hooked) picked me up at work around 9:30pm and we stopped at Kentucky Fried Chicken and he picked up some food. Then we were off to the hotel room he was staying at. He lives in New Jersey and came down for the weekend to visit. We arrive at the hotel and head up to his room. I can't remember if he ate first or if we got started right away. I saw on a table in the corner of the room he already had a few things set up. Box of gloves. Couple of bottles ... read more

there are no words for a suspension, but here's my attempt

I'm going to preface my experience by saying that not only was my suspension a fantastic event by itself, but also came at an opportune moment in my life. I went through a break-up a week prior and since that happened my mind-set has really changed a lot, and this suspension, which was planned prior to this break-up, has been like a gateway into my new life. Today, being 2 days after my suspension, I have greater clarity on the whole experience, and I just wanted to put it into words, especially since a lot of people have been asking ... read more

My first suspension, 4pt suicide

I'll never forget my first suspension. Ever. I have a full backpiece and I was always afraid of having hooks in it, but I met with Tye and saw the scarring from his suspensions and it was very minimal, so I decided to go for a four point suicide. I had been deciding against that or a knee suspension for my first and decided that a 4pt suicide suspension was the way to go. We set a date and I arranged with Tye to stay over at his house that night and drive to Kitchener the day before. I gathered ... read more

I just want it to go away....

I started cutting in my junior year of high school. I wasn't anyone special, not a cheerleader or a "popular kid". I wasn't a slut although the rumors said otherwise. My dad had went postal on me when he found out I was getting high and had kicked me out of his house during the spring of my sophomore year. The months that followed were like a haze. They were filled with threats, phone calls and loads of guilt. During the summer I had started playing with my razor blades from my crafting knives. It was still strange that just ... read more

From self-injury to self discovery

For a good majority of my life, I have had the stigma placed on me of being a "self injurer". Through shame and guilt I have gone for 22 long years trying to hide the scars, making excuses and lies about what really happened, and wondering what the hell was wrong with me. Im not what people consider "Emo" nor am I an angst ridden teen. Im a man entering my thirties, college educated, and overall a well balanced individual. Very recently, through the help of someone near and dear to my heart, I have begun to look back at ... read more

Pretty in needles and pink ribbons

It was hardly 'hard core', but this was one intense experience for this lil' novice. It must have been, given that I still feel the need to tell anyone who will listen an entire week later! To set the scene: it was the day after Valentine's day and a friend and I were booked to do a show at a local fetish club. As the theme was 'designer vagina', we figured that a corset play piercing would be a good way to link the themes of 'pink bits', surgery, Valentines' day gifts and so on. I wanted to show that ... read more

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