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Winter Pull

My fascination with suspension has existed since I first saw it on BME a few years ago. I quickly learned everything I could on the subject. Most of my information came from interviews on BME from people like Fakir Musafar and Allen Faulkner, books like Modern Primatives, and various experience write-ups like this one on BME. Long story short, after much research, I came to a realization that this is something I wanted to experience. I even went so far as to experiment with a cradle-type suspension in my parent's basement (an experience write-up is on BME). The drive and ... read more

First time-suicide suspension 4pt-8g

For the last fours years at least, I have been exposed to many things in the body modification world that have amazed me and as well as intrigued me very highly. It's easy to be so inclined to have these procedures or acts done without first contemplating the risks involved. I can admit to myself, and to you, the people, that only a few of my modifications have deep personal meaning. Not to say, that each experience didn't have it's meaning to me, that each needle that ever passed through my skin didn't have some remembrance and meaning. Just saying ... read more

Face Shishkabob

I went to Fluid Ink to watch my friend Matt get his lobes pierced, but what happened that night transcended any piercing experience I have ever had. In fact, I feel happier right now that I have felt in a long, long time. When we first got to Fluid, I started talking with Verno about suspensions and pulling (which I am now seriously considering). I was very impressed by his attitude towards it – that suspension and pulling are very spiritual and personal experiences, and that he and his partner are dedicated to making sure we get a full and ... read more

Pain and Strength and Other Good Stuff.

Pain is a very personal and empowering sensation: For me, controlled pain, such as with play piercing or pulling, provides a sense of authority over the body, teaches mind control and encourages inner strength. Putting oneself into a situation of doing a pull, suspension or even play piercing, is not a thing I take lightly. For me, it was very important to build up a sense of what I was in for, what it meant, and most importantly to understand WHY I DO IT. I've come across some people who perhaps don't have the best reasoning and I hate it ... read more

Those feelings of flying

You know how we all have those days where "I'm going to remember this for the rest of my life" and then about a week later you forget about it? Well, I hate to be cliché, but this experience is about one of those days. This journey started out early on February 21st. Waking at the crack of dawn under false pretenses of having to be back at school, I high tailed into Brooklyn to meet up with Claire and her friend. The drive long, tiresome, filled with interesting conversation, but was most of all very gray. Further and further ... read more

Tattooing over old scars

I have always had a fascination with tattooing and body modification. I have a lot of respect for the talented artists that make other people their canvases. However, this is not directly what I would like to write about. I would like to write about both cutting and ritual scarring as part of depression and mental health, and the involvement of tattooing on a personal level. (All a bit high and mighty, I know, but heh, got to have goals. Don't we?) I have been an on-again-off-again sufferer of depression for many years. In my 'low' times, I got pretty ... read more

Pouring Out My Soul

Since I was 11 years old, I've been doing everything I can to find out who I am. Drugs, music, lifestyle choices, too many other things to list...they all played a part in who I am now, but never really gave me any clear idea on who I was to become. Nearly 7 years into the experience, and I'm just now getting to know who I really am. It all started the day my mom filed for a divorce. This also happened to be the 2 year anniversary of the death of my favorite uncle, which, to be honest, played ... read more

Play piercing - Pushing my tolerance.

I began getting intrestd in play piercing over the last few months, after seeing loads of pictures, and thinking that it would possibly be a good way to learn to push my pain tolerance further, because I believe I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to piercings, and I need to do a suspension or pulling. It's not that I want to do it because I can, I need to do it, I believe it will help me in furthering my self, and my confidence. I didn't really know where to get needles from so I looked around ... read more


I remember the first time I saw pictures of a pull... I was with my best friend Kel and she took me over to Brodie's. He had pics of his pull up at Sean's house. I also remember saying I would never be "hardcore" enough to do it. I would leave it to the strong- it wasn't something I could handle. That all changed when Kel told me about her first pull. She wasn't happy with the way it went and wanted to have a second chance to get what she wanted from it. She had some real reasons for ... read more

A Time of Completion; The Story of My Star Cutting

NOTE: This may seem like it is about two different experiences, but it's not. You can't understand one without the other, so both of them must be told at the same time. On the night of Halloween, 2000 around 9:30pm I was hanging out with Dameon, one of my best friends. We had known each other forever it seemed. We wanted some cool way to "seal" our friendship. We thought about becoming "blood brothers". But it seems like everyone does that, and he already knew that he had contracted AIDS. Sharing blood was definitely out of the question. After some ... read more

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