• 177,189 / 1,366,142
  • 73 / 7,652
  • 874 / 54,890

And in that one fleeting instance...

Disclaimer: The following experience is a low point for me in two ways, mentally and intellectually, please understand I realize that this is probably one of the dumbest things I have done, I am not proud of it and regret it greatly. First some background information... Cutting to me has always been a form of release. I'm generally a happy guy, but I guess my moods can change pretty quickly. I wouldn't say its been a problem before, I do not cut too deep (just deeper enough to draw blood) and although I scar easily they are well hidden below ... read more

A Day to Define Myself

These always start off the same way. I sit at my laptop and try to compose in coherent thoughts all the strange physical sensations, emotions, and mental images swirling in my head. However, as I sit here tonight about 350 miles away from one of the most pivotal points in my life, I cannot help but think this is different. I should explain. This past weekend was the 6th annual BME So Cal BBQ event. For reference, I live smack dab in Arizona. Close by, sure, but not enough so I would really have considered going. I love meeting new ... read more

Lotus suspension, het schommelstoel gevoel

Eind vorig jaar had ik op een maand tijd 2 suspension afspraken. Niet zo bijzonder, want na mijn eerste keer was ik helemaal verkocht! Dit zouden nummer 6 en 7 worden, dus ondertussen was ik het allemaal al een beetje gewoon. De eerste suspension van deze reeks (mijn tweede suicide) liep helemaal anders dan verwacht, zoals je hier ook op BME kan lezen. Ik had echter nog bijna 4 weken de tijd om me voor te bereiden op mijn eerste Lotus suspension, en hierover gaat deze experience. Zoals steeds begon ik me mentaal en fysiek een beetje aan te passen ... read more

Caminata Kavadi

Despues de mucho tiempo de estar interesada en Rituales Kavadi y de haber visto las fotos del Ego en su pagina muchisimas veces, empece a hablar con el sobre la posibilidad de construir mi Kavadi aqui en Argentina con su asistencia a larga distancia, para poder realizar mi caminata en el lugar en donde yo vivo. Nunca espere hacerlo con El en los paises bajos. Pero para mi suerte, aca estoy. Rodeada por el increible bosque Zwarte Water (Aguas Negras) en Venlo. El perfil del ritual es realmente privado desde el principio. Solamente estaran presentes las personas que participan y ... read more

Playing Around

My story started about a week ago. My best friend came over and we were just sitting around doing nothing. We both were trying to find something to do, and then she remembered I had bought some syringe needles. She got this big smile across her face and ran downstairs to get them. She had always wanted to get her collar bones pierced, so that was the point of getting the needles. She had never tried that one before. So she sterilized the needle and her skin. She's gets it in just fine then it starts to hurt, so she ... read more

Kavadi Walk

After a long time being interested on Kavadi rituals and seeing the fotos about it on the Ego's page, i start to talk with him about the possibility to build my Kavadi frame in Argentina, with his long distance assistance, to do my ritual in the place where i live. I never expect to do my Walk with him in the Netherlands. But lucky me Here Iam. Surrounded by the amazing Black Water Wood in Venlo. The ritual profile was really private from the beginning only the people who participate and the photographers Jan Nabuurs and Tom van den Bosch. ... read more

Courage (Finally did it)

I had seen and read about plenty of play piercings. It definitely intrigued me. That is something I want to do. I saw pictures of piercings laced up with different color ribbons. I thought they looked beautiful, however I could not see anything like that on myself. I began to think this would be something fun to play with at home. I looked around a little and found I could get the needles fairly cheap and easily. I ended up using a gift certificate to BMEshop to get a box of play needles. I ordered them and began to think ... read more

A boost of confidence!

I had suspended before this experience and will suspend after but this is the story of my second suspension. It happened at Warner and Karen's Richmond Suspension Social last November. Cere, Jared, and Cameron basically took care of the technical stuff as they were the only three there who I really trusted to do everything clean and correctly. Someone once told me that you don't always get what you want out of suspension but rather you get what you need. I went into this suspension wanting to have some amazing meditative experience that allowed me to find myself but instead ... read more

Resurrection high

Some time ago Roel (IAM: dust) sent me a message saying that he was going to put up another suspension meeting. As it had been a very long time since my last suspension (a two-point suicide one and a half years ago) I decided it was time for something new. Immediately my mind returned to the pictures of resurrection suspensions I saw here on BME. It took me some time to get over the fact that people were going to see my belly (I'm not a skinny girl and I have very low self esteem sometimes), but the beauty of ... read more

The Virgin Suicide

Absolutely not, I'd said. Don't get me wrong, I admire the strength of each and every person who does it and to watch it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen, but it's still not for me. Two friends and I who I had just recently met from IAM were sitting in a pub one chilly spring weekend, talking about suspension. How the conversation had started I cannot recall, but I remember how it ended; with a firm statement from me that while I loved body modification in all its forms, suspension and other similar ritual experiences were ... read more

Back to Top