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Blood Fetishes. Young and Old. Old and New.

Since I was about 11 and I was introduced to body modification I have been interested in every aspect of it. I have had many best friends who were into cutting and scarring their body with the many images the human mind could imagine. From hearts, to ex's names, the sky was the limit. My best friend and I used to see how long we could go without cutting. If someone failed at the game, they would get a bitching from the other person. Of course, I was heavily into blood play and the whole cutting experiences. For some reason ... read more

Attempted Knee and Chest suspension

I fancied trying a knee suspension, because I was curious what they felt like. I've tried a few other suspensions and wanted to do something new to me. I have lots of curiosity. I wasn't sure I liked the idea of being upside down though, mostly cause I have sinus problems so being upside down hurts. I've enjoyed the chest pulls I've done a lot, and saw a chest and knee suspension Alice that looked so chilled and good. I thought it would be nice to try chest and knees, then I wouldn't be upside down, and I'd have the ... read more

What I did on my holidays.

Apologies in advance if this seems to ramble, or doesn't make sense, it was quite hard to get my thoughts down into words, and so this is the result. Last weekend, I got suspended for the first time. I'd already seen quite a few suspensions over the weekend, most of them amazing to see, and some that were really quite beautiful. Then it came round to my turn, it was sunday evening at about 8 o'clock, the weather was slightly better than it had been, but with tarpaulin over the entire rig creating a tent, it mattered little if it ... read more

Spacy's Coma Suspension

I did my coma at the Body Evolution meet in Norwich. I couldn't decide whether to try a coma, or knees. They were both suspensions I hadn't done before, and wanted to try because of the curiosity. I'd done a Superman suspension a while ago, and thought the coma would be sort of the same, as it had lots of hooks. I imagined just floating in the air all chilled and stuff for ages. I knew I loved the feeling of my chest pulling when I did chest pulls, so I thought it would be like that. As it was, ... read more

The day I pushed my fear to one side and got pierced by Mark!

The day I got play pierced by Mark It was a Monday morning and I rang up The Metal Guru to see if Mark, the male piercer and not my normal piercer, could play pierce me on the Tuesday. He said he could. I was absolutely terrified, I spent the whole day and night shaking with nerves, the pain didn't bother me at all, and I love the feelings of having needles inserted into my skin. Although I don't really know Mark, I've always thought of him very highly but I was scared of him just because he's male, he ... read more

Self injury and cutting often go hand in hand.

As I write this I ask you not to judge me. This is a controversial topic and I hope I manage to convey my feelings and my motivations for doing what I feel I need to, as honestly as I can, without sounding stupid or naive. As I sit here in August 2006, aged 17, i've been cutting myself for over 6 years. It's not a subject I like to speak about as it's very emotional for me so please, keep an open mind as you read it. Throughout primary school, I was bullied mercilessly about my weight. I was ... read more

Not what I wanted but what I needed

As I am writing this I am sitting on a train back home, reflecting on my first ever suspension yesterday, a four point suicide suspension. Most people (at least in the United Kingdom) are aware of suspension on a physical level if not knowing it's name; ask people if they have seen "those freaks that hang from hooks in their backs" and I am pretty certain that they will know what you are referring to and like many people, that's how I first came across suspension and like other body modification-related things, thought that it was "sort of interesting" but ... read more

After years of waiting I finally played

So looking back where did it start? Well I first discovered BME after reading an article on mods in a magazine when I was 17 and I was fascinated. Really fascinated. Nearly obsessed. Did I do anything about it? Not really. As much as I craved mods and piercings in particular I was a middle class boy bound up by expectations of family and school. For two years I devoured everything I could about mods on the net then decided I would give myself a meatotomy. In retrospect this was perhaps a little too ambitious. I managed to cut about ... read more

1pt vertical chest oder auch „verdammt wie blöd kann man den in der birne sein“

so, erstma hallo alle miteinander! schön das sich jemand für meinen bericht über diese doch etwas härtere suspension interessiert. als erstes sollte ich vielleicht mal schreiben wie ich denn zu dieser idee diese suspension zu machen gekommen bin. ich war vor einiger zeit, wie eigentlich fast täglich, auf einer sehr informativen, kanadischen seite (insider dürfte der name bekannt sein) unterwegs und habe mich dort aus langeweile wieder einmal durch die bildergallerien versch. arten durchgeklickt. dort waren piercings (normale und ausgefallene), tattoos, cuttings und nachtürlich auch suspensions. als ich bei diesen angekommen war ich auf der suche nach ausgefallenen und „seltenen" ... read more

The best birthday present to myself

I'd read a lot about flesh pulls on BME and the like and seen many photos. It always interested me but I didn't think it looked like something I would try any time soon. I had plans to do a four-point suicide suspension for my 18th birthday. After a few emails I was directed to Nick at Illicit HQ. He suggested I do a pull to warm up a few months before I was going to hang. Tho I wasn't really into the idea. Turns out I had no choice really because I couldn't get the $300 it would cost ... read more

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