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A lonely long road but it's all possible

Let me start by telling you a little bit about myself, I'm a 16 year old female who has battled self-harm and abuse as well as school phobia for a few years. Self-harm since I was 8 along with the abuse and School Phobia since I was 12/13. I look like your average teenager on the outside and I tend not to share myself with other people unless I know they'll benefit from it. I can remember very clearly the first time I cut. A male in my life had hit me across the face and shouted at me, I ... read more

A First-Timer's Introspection on Suspension

07.16.05 The day started out with high spirits, and the drive to Chicago itself was both liberating and exhilarating, a result of too little sleep and too much caffeine. The mood turned a bit sour upon arriving in Chicago and subsequently spending ages stuck in traffic and getting quite lost. Regardless of setbacks, we eventually made our way to the BBQ, where we were greeted by hordes of enthusiastic strangers. It was quickly declared "No Pants O'clock" as it was close to 100 degrees in the house. Good times. There was a cute boy. And fire-breathing. And camel toe. ^.^ ... read more

Vom Playpiercing zur Suspension und der Kick dabei

Vor etlichen Jahren (als ich noch nichts mit Piercings und Tattoos am Hut hatte) hat es mich schon immer fasziniert wenn ich gesehen habe wie sich jemand selbst eine Spritze gegeben hat. Sei es aus gesundheitlicher Notwendigkeit (beim Insulin spritzen) oder um Drogen zu konsumieren (z.B. Heroinspritzende Fixer). Ich bin absolut gegen den Konsum von Drogen, trotzdem hat der Vorgang des Nadelstechens in mir ein sehr sonderbares und schönes Gefühl ausgelöst. Anfangs konnte ich mich selbst nicht verstehen und ich habe mich gewundert dass ich keinen Ekel oder Abscheu empfunden habe, was ich eigentlich erwartet hätte. Allein schon das Zusehen ... read more

The Spiritual Side Of Pain

I have been to this site many many times and it has " inspired" I will say, me to do something with my body.I wasn't going to do anything to escape other pains by causing pain but rather explore this pain to explore myself. I was gonna do this to explore my mind, to reach a new level of it and for spiritual reasons, this was gonna be my first stride into a practice of pain. I mean thats why I do the things that I do : drugs. I do drugs to explore my mind, to expand it to ... read more

My first suspension, an experience to remember...

My first suspension, a four point suicide, was finally accomplished on the evening of September 4th, 2006 (Labor Day). The event had been planned and canceled a couple of times, during a period of three weeks before, for various reasons. When it actually came time, I had only been given five hours notice. Needless to say, I was surprised and hadn't much time to mentally prepare myself, but concluded I was in good enough shape to heed the opportunity nonetheless. Regardless of the short notice, I was in a great mood, and was really looking forward to going up. Everything ... read more

It's nothing

I dunno why I'm writing this. I guess we all kind of feel a little stupid telling ourselves that self-medication is a good thing. We all feel just a little guilty when we spill our hearts out. I think though that I need to get this out once and for all. Just to get it off my mind for tonight, at least for a few hours of peace. I started cutting when I was 12 or 13, I don't really remember how old I was, I just remember what I used. A safety pin. I laugh at that now. I've ... read more

Conquering a Decade of Doubt

For the past 4 years, the Well Hung Suspension Team has headed off into the mountains each September for a long weekend retreat. It acts as an escape from the everyday; from the hassle of Southern Californian traffic, from the very city life that seeks to destroy you from within if you let it. I've known Eric (IAM:Sque3z) and his wife Annie, Tyler (IAM:coffiend) and Brett (IAM:solja) for almost 3 years now. Out of those 3, I've missed previous opportunities to go camping with my friends and this year I was not allowing anything to stop me. This would be ... read more

What I did on my holidays.

Apologies in advance if this seems to ramble, or doesn't make sense, it was quite hard to get my thoughts down into words, and so this is the result. Last weekend, I got suspended for the first time. I'd already seen quite a few suspensions over the weekend, most of them amazing to see, and some that were really quite beautiful. Then it came round to my turn, it was sunday evening at about 8 o'clock, the weather was slightly better than it had been, but with tarpaulin over the entire rig creating a tent, it mattered little if it ... read more

Spacy's Coma Suspension

I did my coma at the Body Evolution meet in Norwich. I couldn't decide whether to try a coma, or knees. They were both suspensions I hadn't done before, and wanted to try because of the curiosity. I'd done a Superman suspension a while ago, and thought the coma would be sort of the same, as it had lots of hooks. I imagined just floating in the air all chilled and stuff for ages. I knew I loved the feeling of my chest pulling when I did chest pulls, so I thought it would be like that. As it was, ... read more

My First Suicide Attempt; Not very Successful

I've had a lot of piercings in my day. But nothing compares to my latest experience. For the last two years, I've had it in my head that doing a suicide suspension was the only option. Nothing else mattered until I got that. And this is the story of the day that I finally did. For almost a year and a half, I had been on a search to find someone to do a suspension for me. I don't have the privilege of living in the US, where suspension groups are a dime a dozen. I live in Canada, and ... read more

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