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I cut because I hate myself, I hate myself for cutting

I'll start this by saying that I'm very normal. I don't fit the traditional stereotype of self-harmers, I come from a 2 parent family, I did well at school, I have lots of friends and I have never gone through a massive trauma (such as abuse or neglect), yet despite this seemingly happy life, I cut myself. I don't remember the first time I did it but I must have been about 15, I remember times sat in my room feeling so alone and so horrible that I would drag scissors across my thigh trying to make the pain I ... read more

First Suspension, Two Nine Gauge Suicide Style

First I would like to thank God, BME, people that post pictures/stories, so if your readying this, that means you, Thanks everyone, and I say that because without this site and everyone else that goes on it, I wouldn't have been able to do a body suspension. I've been interested in piercing since my early teens and being suspended started to become more appealing to me over time. I was 19 years old when I had decided that I wanted to do a suicide suspension. Before this I never thought I would do a suspension, but this being a big ... read more

Six Hooks

Suspension was something that I had been interested in for quite a while but I figured that no one in Australia hosted or performed suspension events (although I never really went out of my way to look for someone to hook me up). But through a friend I was put in contact with the great people at The Hanged Man Team. I went along as a spectator to see how exactly they worked their event & after a lengthy chat with some of the people in the group I really wanted to go up. At this point I did have ... read more

Out of my comfort zone. My first suspension attempt

The hours leading up to my first Suspension attempt were long and slow. I watched the Australian Rules Football Grand final on tv and pretended to care because I didn't want to do too much thinking. I was nervous about the night ahead but also very excited. I feel I was reasonably mentally prepared. I arrived at the club and the first thing I saw was a big flight of stairs, all I thought of was stumbling down those stairs after the event, not knowing how I would be feeling, I then began to wonder if the place was wheelchair ... read more

From pain to pleasure, or a story of a pull.

I LET THE PAIN PASS THROUGH ME AND I SMILE It's been a long, very emotional weekend. Starting with a mid-day train ride to the wrong place and finishing with one last train ride, this time to the right destination. Between these two crucial train rides lies a whirlpool of experiences, pain, and emotions. The pain throughout this weekend was immense, sometimes too much to bear. Excruciating, breaking, forging pain that passes through the body and the spirit, wrecking all in it's path. After the pain there is nothing, nothing but a place to build over. It has been indeed ... read more

My virgin suicide

A quiet rural road. Farmers going about their business, a middle aged couple with their two small children pass on a single lane road; an outing to the local mall or a trip to an exciting tourist attraction. Into a small estate. Rural suburbia. Twentieth century housing and cul-de-sac's. A small primary school, possibly a first school, dormant at the centre of the community, awaiting the hubbub of Monday morning. Children playing on bikes, parents mowing the lawns and washing their cars. The perfect weekend. Great weather, warm and sunny. The darkness within hidden by some fencing and a patchy ... read more

My love affair with the humble knee suspension - Part 1

My first suspension was a personal test. I wasn't sure if I would be able to go through with it, but I knew that I wanted to try! I had become aware of suspensions on BME about 3 years earlier (it was a photo of a knee suspension) and it struck me that it seemed an interesting but impossible feat for the human body to accomplish. Over the next few years I began to understand the malleability of the limits of the human body, as I became increasingly comfortable with each piercing I had done. Eventually I was within an ... read more

My love affair with the humble knee suspension - Part 2

The date is the 13th of August 2005, precisely 9 months after my first suspension. The place is Wattamolla Beach, Royal National Park, Sydney, Australia. In attendance are the people who later became the Hack Crew (ring lead by Karl), 4 co-suspendees, and 20-30 other friends and acquaintances, mostly from IAM. This day had been minimally planned – it was going to be a simple, fun day, the way things should be! Karl told me that he was coming down to Sydney for a weekend, and I wanted to suspend again. It was up to me to find a location, ... read more

My love affair with the humble knee suspension - Part 3

My third suspension was on Good Friday – 14th April 2006. It was organised by the Swing Crew, and was set to be held at Prospect Reservoir in Sydney's West. I drove there with a car semi-full of friends, and arrived at around midday (I think...). The suspensions had already begun, and there was a decent sized group of supporters and on-lookers already there. It was a nice park and food was being whipped up for lunch. Unfortunately, the lovely setting and suspension meet was interrupted by an over-zealous bunch of emergency service people: Something to the tune of 5 ... read more

mein Playpiercing am Rücken

Schon lange faszienieren mich Nadeln, aber es hat sehr lange gedauert bis ich meine ersten Erfahrungen gemacht habe. Als erstes ließ ich meine rechte Brustwarze piercen, doch es dauerte nicht lange und ich wollte mehr. Trotzdem verging einige Zeit bis zum nächste Piercing. Es war der Nabel.Die Abstände wurden immer kürzer. Jetzt habe ich sieben und auch im Intimbereich.Alle wurden ohne Betäubung gestochen. Es dauerte nicht lange und ich fing mit den ersten Playpiercings an. Diese habe ich mir selbst gestochen. Es gab kein Körperteil an dem ich es nicht probiert habe. Langsam wurde es zu einer Sucht und ließ ... read more

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