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I had to commit suicide to be cured.

saturday. december 16th. Today i did a suspension. Most people would either think it was weird, or that i'm fucked in the head. Actually, quite the opposite. Yes, the basic concept was to have hooks thrown into my back, and then being hung by skin. But there is so much more to it. Let me explain. So, in the car ride up to Toronto, with the guitar player from Manic Prosperity, and Tyler from braebrook. We picked up wendy's, and a charger for the camera. We got to the BodyARTpro studio, and met Mike, Badur, and another girl there. The ... read more

I got an "A" on MY first suspension!

I know am I writing this experience story far too late. It would have been more... satisfying to have written this the day after the suspension, but here I am, much, much later. It took place on October the 22nd, over a month ago. So if any little details are a bit off, I am sorry, but my memory just can't hold more than 1 KB. It all started with a Digital Design class project that I was assigned. We were supposed to create a body extension and do a performance art piece with it. A body suspension was the ... read more

double knee suspension

Finally, the full details.. So with the winter season approaching us, I decided last Monday I'd like to get another outdoor suspension in before the weather got too bad.. I took a trip to Weather.com and checked out the forecast for the week, see what days were good. Wednesday was the last good day. I contacted MUTE-ONE about it and he said it'd be no problem.. Wednesday afternoon came around and I left work at a pretty normal time.. I stopped home, and then cruised over to the tattoo shop.. I got there hung out for a little bit, MUTE-ONE ... read more

Bent Hooks

A few years ago, I came across suspension at a concert. It was one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. I was fascinated! I never knew that the body could endure such things. I was amazed how strong these people were mentally to do such a thing. Right then and there, I determined that I could never do that, I don't have the courage to even try. At the beginning of this year, one of the guys I live with got suspended. Hearing him talk about his experience made me curious about suspension. After talking to him, ... read more

A natural high and a crackling head?

After procrastinating for about a year I finally worked up the courage to talk to Nic at Illicit on Krd about doing a suspension. I had read a few positive experiences on BME about him and he also seemed to be the only person in Auckland that I could find reviews on. Come Tuesday of the next week I was booked in to do a warm up pull in the afternoon. Reality of what I was about to do only really hit me an hour or so before hand when my heart was pounding so hard I could barely eat ... read more

A gentle introduction to the art of pulling

I first thought about doing a pull at the 'Hungover in London' barbecue way back in August 2002, but changed my mind quite late in the day, largely because I felt my lack of ability to discuss the pull, and my reasons for wanting to do it, with my boyfriend suggested I wasn't fully mentally prepared. When we did get round to discussing it, he raised valid concerns about scarring etc, and I realised I hadn't put as much thought and research in as I should have done. And so the whole idea went onto the back burner for some ... read more

Suspension #2, I was cured. And I want more.

When Badur said to me, after I was dropped back to the ground, « You can even post about this on BME », I thought to myself and said out loud, "No, I think I'll be all good keeping this to myself". I also thought It would be the stupidest thing to have to share something so intimate with a group of people online, that I don't even know personally. Now, two days after I went up, I suddenly feel this incredible urge to type this out, even if it's for my own understanding of this overwhelming experience and have ... read more

Self-Mutilation experience

Uhmm. Hi, I'm Ciara, and this is obviously my 'cutting' experience. I have self-mutilated since ten years old, not because I am a total 'emo kid', want to get attention, want to commit suicide etc. It is oddly, my release for stresses in life. Some people vent theirs in a journal/diary, at friends, taking a bath, reading a book... But me? Well, I can't deny I never do those things to calm down, but 'cutting' to me would always be my first choice. It is an extreme release for me. If I ever have any problem or frustration, I often ... read more

popping my suspension cherry ++

I don't remember the first image or footage of a suspension I ever saw, but I can remember the first one I saw live. In 2004 I went with my friend of the time Tash (was on iam but not anymore) to watch her do a suicide suspension. It was not her first time, so she was confident about it and seeing her without fear made me think maybe I could do that one day too. She went up twice, swung around like a monkey on a vine, talking and yelling and singing and stripping off clothing. I was awestruck ... read more

Pin Cushion

I know that almost all experiences start this way but... what the hell... I have always had an interest in body modification, not so much the appearance or physical aspect of mods, I was just always intrigued by the amount of control someone could have over their body. Growing up with a very conservative family (super-christian mania!), I was pressured to be the "perfect" kid (if there ever was such a thing) who got good grades and won awards and never dared disturb or even question this lifestyle. I was always a very expressive person though and would write and ... read more

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