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Returning to the Old Habit

Depression runs in my family. I can recall long periods of time when my mother was adjusting to new medication in attempts to control her mood disorder. This was complicated by the addition of anxiety disorder, and so as drugs were substituted in and out in the hopes of finding some way of complimenting without interfering, it was expected that there would be wild mood swings and irrational emotional responses. It's always been a fact of life. My older sister has escaped the stigma of mental disorder, but only by adopting into the line of thought that mental illness is ... read more

Never Alone.

There are very few people in today's society who dare to differ from the crowds and followers of "popularity". There are even less people who will truly stand up for what they believe in. Even in the U.S, supposedly the "land of the free" many people tend to be slaves to trends and traditions, never venturing out on their own to find new, unique styles. Perhaps that's one of the greatest faults of today's people. However, there are some of us braver than the rest, who will filter out into new-age groups, who are slowly bringing back individuality and independence. ... read more

My resurrection suspension for my sister

A little background will help this story come together more smoothly. My sister Renea was three years older than me and although she tormented me through our childhood, she was my best friend and my "Mommy Wombat" when I needed her the most. Our father died on her 13th birthday and even more so after that we stuck together and experienced everything together. My mom stranded us both in an effort to reconcile her lost past and to avoid the monstrous commitment of 6 children, though 3 were over 18 and out of the house. The loss of identity, abandonment, ... read more

Masochistic Tendencies?

Most people would say that cutting is self-destructive and an act that should be frowned upon. I don't care if you believe this statement to be true or false, hopefully there's something in here for everyone. Maybe it will shed some light on the subject for the "non-believers", be something other cutters can relate to, or at least be a nice form of entertainment for all you others. I don't think I started cutting because I was depressed or angry, I can't actually quite remember, but I know it serves a very different purpose for me today. I've never been ... read more

Livet upp och ner - min första kneesuspension

Det var i februari 2005 och det var dags för min tredje suspension. Jag hade tidigare hängt två suicide, båda med sex krokar, men det var länge sedan nu. Jag hade haft arton månaders paus för graviditet och amning. Nu var det vintermodfest i Göteborg och jag hade bestämt mig för att prova en kneesuspension. Eftersom vi hade vår nio månader gamla son med oss så var det meningen att jag och min man bena skulle turas om att hänga, jobba och ta hand om lillkillen. Mina två första suspensions var visserligen tuffa att komma upp i, men krokningen till ... read more

Set of Silver Wings at Auscon4 - Hanged Man Team

My hook love at Auscon4 – 3rd December, 2006 Comparatively to my first suspension, I wasn't anxious; perhaps the frivolity prior to the suspension had something to do with it. I hadn't thought about my hanging for quite sometime, I knew it was happening just not at the forefront of my mind. The drive to Unkey Pete's farm for Auscon4 was longer then intended, though once arrived it all kicked off quite nicely. Getting into a bit of champagne probably killed the chances of me getting any nerves. Watching the suspensions before mine, with a 100% success rate, I was ... read more

My First Suspension

I walk into the suspension party and I am early, I got there after work. I'm a nervous wreck, my stomach is in knots, I'm shaking. I met a few people, suzanne who made me feel comfortable as I knew no one there. Then the team arrives and also my best friend tiffani. I watch them set up for the suspensions and get even more antsy. I eventually started talking to people and found out that only 2 girls actually have done this before. The rest were as new as me. I watch some people get pierced and suspended and ... read more

My first suspension

My first suspension It was a really hot and sunny day in July 2003, and back in those days I lived in the countryside. My "friend" bena had left town to visit me for the weekend and we relaxed in the garden. I knew that bena was very interested in suspension, and that he had done it several times, but I had never tried it myself and I didn't knew much about it. That day he told me that he had brought some hooks, rope, gloves and needles and that he wanted to go out in the forest to find ... read more

Le Temps de Ma Vie

As an art student as the University of South Florida, I had the incredible opportunity this passed June ('06) to study in France for a month. This also meant I had the opportunity to visit Avignon, the home of the infamous Monsieur Lucas Zpira01 and "body hacktivist" practices in which I have been interested for several years. I could write a novel about the entire experience... but of course I'll restrain myself to sharing with you the juicy details of my suicide suspension. Though the entire ordeal began with pleasant correspondences with Lucas, the process of getting to Avignon was ... read more

I had to commit suicide to be cured.

saturday. december 16th. Today i did a suspension. Most people would either think it was weird, or that i'm fucked in the head. Actually, quite the opposite. Yes, the basic concept was to have hooks thrown into my back, and then being hung by skin. But there is so much more to it. Let me explain. So, in the car ride up to Toronto, with the guitar player from Manic Prosperity, and Tyler from braebrook. We picked up wendy's, and a charger for the camera. We got to the BodyARTpro studio, and met Mike, Badur, and another girl there. The ... read more

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