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"the Form complete is worthier far"

So, this is my first time submitting to the site, although I've been looking around it for a while...I decided it was time to share. This is really hodgepodge, and I feel a little odd expressing all of this for the first time, but I'm counting on not being judged here. I love that. So, here it goes: the past few months' worth of hiding and thinking I'm crazy poured out to strangers. I love you all. I suffered from anorexia, not for a long time, but severely (or so people tell me, but that's not the point). This was ... read more

My first suspension

Not many people get a chance to walk into an event knowing it will somehow change their life. Not many people ever find an outlet where a test of physical strength, mental focus, and spiritual intuitiveness all combinate into one act. I was fortunate enough to find all of those things at Nor Cal Suscon. I suppose if you were to judge based off of my appearance one wouldn't think I would be interested in suspension. Aside from a few mods such as a surface piercing on my nape and one tattoo one would think I'm not interested in a ... read more

Mountain Sweat Lodge

Your friend tells you that, at the annual Suspension Camping Trip, there will be a Sweat Lodge. You think to yourself, "how much different could it be than a sauna?" The answer is: Very. I had done some time in saunas for long periods. I've ignored the sign around them as well as hot tubs and drank while sweating. I love the feeling of jumping from a boiling hot tub into a freezing swimming pool. So when the idea of the sweat lodge was breeched by my friend Brett, I was immediately down. I began by cruising through the internet ... read more

Gör som jag säger och inte som jag gör – suicideduo med Bena.

Jag hade länge haft funderingar på att hänga någon form av suspension tillsammans med min man bena. Helst av allt ville jag hänga en tandem där han skulle hänga i en superman och jag i en coma under honom. En coma kändes dock väldigt avlägsen för mig, det kändes främmande och skrämmande med krokar på kroppens hela framsida. Alla historier om hur speciell, intensiv och, för vissa, obehaglig coman kan vara gjorde mig också tveksam. Men ändå, så vackert, vilken upplevelse att dela. Efter mycket självrannsakande och funderande insåg jag dock att jag ej var redo för en coma. Jag ... read more

Faith through blood.

I spend a lot of my time praying in my bath. I never used to be religious. I dabbled in Christianity, attempted Buddhist chants, even started growing a herb garden for pagan rituals. But none of that gave me the sense of spirituality I craved. I had a friend ask me if I had ever felt a oneness with nature. My response was 'depends what drugs I've taken'. It made him, and everybody else laugh, made me sound cynical and cool to all his friends who stood around us like an audience, but it wasn't what I felt. I felt ... read more

A Needle & Some Thread...

Beginning to delve deeper into Body Mods, I considered myself a prodigy of the art. I turned my body from something that I loathed into a masterpiece of tweaked and edited parts. My legs are now a canvas, my arms are now my slate. I hope this experience accomplishes what it should: to educate the mass youth interested in body modification, and to annoy the veteran piercers. So, with that said.. I will warn you now, what goes on in this experience may be unsafe, illegal in some states and countries and very..very... irresponsible. It should not be taken as ... read more

Stichmania

My alias is Ayame, and I'm sixteen, and am new to body modification, although being interested in it for many years. Before I begin my story, my modification history is: two ear lobe piercings, four years of regular/ritualised cutting, but no other sort of biggish modifications. My story starts in my bedroom, a week or so ago. I'm not the newest to cutting (I have been cutting for four years now,) but I'd like to talk about my most recent cuts. These are the cuts that landed me in the hospital for stitches. I was feeling particularly upset and angry ... read more

Second chances

This is the story of my second attempt at a six point Vertical back (suicide) Suspension. My adventure began on Saturday morning as I set out for the 8 hour drive to Pete's property. Armed with not much more than a mud map and an idea of what direction to drive in I found my way, only getting lost a few times. Saturday evening was spent socialising and watching other people get drunk. I had decided my suspension preparation was not to involve alcohol as I wanted a clear mind in the morning and a hangover would have spoiled my ... read more

Returning to the Old Habit

Depression runs in my family. I can recall long periods of time when my mother was adjusting to new medication in attempts to control her mood disorder. This was complicated by the addition of anxiety disorder, and so as drugs were substituted in and out in the hopes of finding some way of complimenting without interfering, it was expected that there would be wild mood swings and irrational emotional responses. It's always been a fact of life. My older sister has escaped the stigma of mental disorder, but only by adopting into the line of thought that mental illness is ... read more

Never Alone.

There are very few people in today's society who dare to differ from the crowds and followers of "popularity". There are even less people who will truly stand up for what they believe in. Even in the U.S, supposedly the "land of the free" many people tend to be slaves to trends and traditions, never venturing out on their own to find new, unique styles. Perhaps that's one of the greatest faults of today's people. However, there are some of us braver than the rest, who will filter out into new-age groups, who are slowly bringing back individuality and independence. ... read more

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