2nd time nipples, this one feels right.
Well, my story is probably not very different than other straight men who step in to a piercing studio and decide to get their nipples pierced at forty plus years of age. But this is not my first experience with pierced nipples.
Nearly ten years ago I ordered sterile 14ga. needles and jewelry from BME and proceeded to pierce myself late one night in the downstairs bathroom. At that point in time, I had been happily married for three years and miserably married for an additional eight. On a whim, feeling that my life was not going in a positive direction and battling demons that had followed from childhood and ultimately drawn black clouds over my marriage, I a found great release and a refreshing new perspective by the act. I didn't feel that I fit into the "normal" suburban lifestyle I lived. Sure, manicured lawns and backyard barbecues and three wonderful children brought me a certain level of comfort...but strolling the mall with my wife I felt somehow out of place, as if I were traveling an alien planet.
Immediately after my first piercing, I began to understand a more spiritual meaning to my act, and as I described it then the relief I felt came from a certain symbolism. These external barbells I wore through my flesh came to symbolize a lifetime of internalized pain. Even the act of piercing the flesh furthered this feeling. By wearing my pain on my chest, I began a new life less concerned with the past; keeping this pain in view helped me move past it while still recognizing that it was a very important part of who I was.
As cliche as my story is, it also followed a recognizable path from that point forward. My wife, initially accepting of my decision, began to become more withdrawn and ultimately demanded that I remove my piercings. Her control over me was significant and as we struggled through other control issues I had more and more difficulty reconciling who I wanted to be with who she wanted to be. Her control was absolute in my mind, and hoping to somehow ford the river of tumult in our relationship I did as she wished. I regretted it then, but put it behind me feeling that the gains I had made would not go away with following her request. Yes, I had made great strides...but the newfound self-confidence I had gained in the process ultimately spelled the end of our relationship - I came home one day to learn that she had been having an affair while I spent long days working to pay our bills at an ever larger suburban McMansion that she begged for. It was the ultimate symbol of her need t o keep control in our relationship, sadly followed by her delusion belief that I would somehow accept her decision as justified and stay while she pursued her need for love from other men. I didn't, and proceeded to leave as soon as possible.
Fast forward three years, and with great legal counsel and significant expense I am happily divorced...in complete ownership of my life and with ample time to parent my children. I have made a home for my family, complete with two hamsters and many great traditions of togetherness. I balance single fatherhood with a busy work schedule, and am enjoying the freedom to pursue my own goals when time permits. Its not always easy, but this life is ultimately mine and I value that gift greatly.
And then the funniest thing happened two weeks ago...I found myself dialing up Prix Body piercing in Pasadena, and asking what it would cost for two nipple piercings. Almost not believing it myself, I rode my motorcycle down to Pasadena one Saturday afternoon. I parked and walked around the boulevard for a while, passing by the window of Prix but never going in. I got back on my bike and rode in a homeward direction, yet detoured through the canyons for three more hours...all the while trying both to summon the nerve as well as determine what possible "reason" I could have for wanting to do such a thing again. There was no compulsion to do this...I could go home and think about it...but yet I felt an odd sort of out-of-body "where is this going" force. As I reached the entrance to the freeway I had two choices...turn left and head home, or turn right.
Eddie did a great job re piercing me - a very easy going guy, we chatted about motorcycles and mountain bikes, and the procedure itself was very calm and easy. Compared to the intensity of my first self-piercing, he smoothly pierced each nipple with precision and the results have been fantastic. Perfect alignment, not post-piercing troubles whatsoever (save for me slamming my GF into my chest...well the post pierce rush when I got home the next day got the best of me and I had a bit of extra...uh.. "energy"). Healing has been going well with sea-salt soaks twice a day and my nipples have not been sore whatsoever. All in all I highly recommend Eddie and Prix for piercing.
So the moral of the story...well its quite simple: sometimes we need to stop looking for the reasons and just open ourselves up to the possibilities. Had I expected or even thought about what I was doing rather than just following my instinct I don't know how I would have felt about this decision. But I'm glad I just went with my instinct on this one because it just feels right.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 28 Sept. 2008
in Nipple Piercing