Sticking a whopping great lump of metal through sensitive bits
About a year ago I went through a break up that was, although on the surface amicable, emotionally devastating. Part of my response to this was to get involved with a friend on a purely physical basis. In essence I was retreating from any emotional need, and the sheer lack of inhibition, stress or guilt I felt when with him made those times some of the brightest of the period. As it happened, this friend, R, is quite heavily pierced and although I had often admired his various bolts and rings, I had never sincerely considered getting something similar done myself.
One of R's piercings, and my personal favourite, was his nipple ring. It really was a ring, not a barbell, and immense fun to play with. At some stage I realised that I really, really, really wanted one of my own, which puzzled me. I had never wanted one before, so why now? Due to that uncertainty, I waited for quite a few months, doing a little research here, a little research there, but never truly believing that I would go through with it.
A few months later, whilst still humming and hahing my way ponderously in the direction of a decision, I finished university, and left the place and people who had constituted my home for five years. Needless to say, this pushed all other, less pivotal concerns to the very back recesses of my mind. I returned to my home town to say goodbye to my friends there before moving overseas indefinitely.
After about two days in my home town, having had a chance to catch my breath, the idea of a nipple piercing returned suddenly and in full force. I was browsing through a shopping centre with a friend, and we walked past a piercing parlour. The research I had done previously had all been on-line, and I hadn't actually had the opportunity to talk to a professional. The imp of my piercing desire stood up, knocked on the door of my conscience and demanded we go in, "just to have a look around". So I did, still with no real intention of going through with it. To be honest, the idea freaked me out more than little bit I am not really a pain junkie, and I don't like needles.
In the end, the friend I was with encouraged me to do it she even loaned me the cash, as I didn't have enough on me. The woman I spoke to was very brisk, very professional, almost uninterested. After I quizzed her about the sterilisation practices and decided she looked responsible, she took me to a little booth at the back of the shop, asked me to lift up my top and marked me with pen. I checked it, thought it looked ok, and said so. She then sat me down in a chair, leaned me back and stuck a needle through my nipple. Now, obviously, this wasn't as pleasant as being showered in purring kittens, especially when the needle broke through the skin on the other side. However, it didn't hurt nearly as much as I was expecting, and the adrenalin rush was fantastic. I even found the process fascinating, and went around for days explaining to people how it was done. Ingenious. I would try and explain here, but I found that I had to use my hands a lot, and even then people sometimes didn't understand entirely what I meant, so a pure text description would probably only serve to confuse.
It took a while to heal up, but I didn't have any problems with it. In fact, I've found it even made my nipple perkier. I finally figured out why I wanted it so badly, too, I think (I tend to over-analyse things, as a rule, and this was no different). I'd come to associate R's nipple piercing with a great deal of pleasure, and a great feeling of release and freedom. I wanted those feelings to remain even when he was gone, and a nipple piercing of my own was a concrete link, a type of magic key to feeling better. Also, on a more vengeful but no less satisfying note, I knew that my ex would loathe the very idea of it, and that added a lot of appeal. Finally, it felt like I was taking back a level of the control which had been slowly and consistently slipping out of my grasp.
For the first few months after being pierced, I was constantly aware of it. Not just on a physical level, but also as a decision I had taken. I thought that one would be enough, that it was perfect because of the situation and my state of mind. It's now six months on, and although I'm not as aware of it anymore, I still adore it (except when I catch it on something. Not good). Just knowing it's there makes me feel calmer and more in control. Similar to Linus and his blanket from Peanuts, I suppose. I have also recently discovered, and fallen in love with immediately thereafter, nape piercings. And now I want one so much for one piercing being enough!
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 09 May 2008
in Nipple Piercing