've been thinking about breasts and how much they not only mean to women, but the different stages of acceptance I have gone through since I started to develop at age 12. first, there was the "hide-them-with-a-baggy-sweater" phase, the early phase in which just the nipples poke out and caused me some embarrassment. then, there's the "time-to-get-a-training-bra" phase, in which I felt a little proud of these new lumps of flesh on my body that the boys seem so fascinated with.
then, I went through the "why-aren't-they-getting-any-bigger" phase, in which I compared my breast size to that of other women's, and found myself to be woefully inadequate. finally, I went though the "ok-i-guess-i'll-be-happy-with-a-size-A" phase, in which I realized having small breasts has some advantages, the least of which I don't spend a lot of money on bras!
even though I was pretty comfortable with their size, I was never
happy with their shape, or the way they seemed to drift into my
armpits. no wonder bra could give me cleavage, and nothing would help
my flat nipples. my 17-year-old sister pointed out to me in a
changing room that they were starting to sag (thanks kate!), and this
didn't help matters much.
I began to wonder what my breasts would look like with rings in the
nipples. I found pierced nipples very erotic and attractive, but was
turned off by the thought of the pain.
years passed. every time I thought of getting my nipples pierced I cringed. then one day, on the spur of the moment, I made an appointment after work with a piercer and came home with a shiny new ring in my inner labia. the pain wasn't bad at all! a month later, I again left work early and this time came home with a horizontal clit hood. the pain was a little worse than the inner labia, but not enough to scream and not enough to deter me from getting more.
over the next few weeks I thought long and hard about getting my
nipples done. I did research on pain at BME, and read fearfully
through the experiences describing the pain as being, well, bad.
having had a few tattoos and now a few piercings, I figured I would be able to handle it. it would be worth it, I thought, to be able to feel good about my breasts!
I made the appointment for the day after thanksgiving. my whole
family was in town for the holiday, including my sister, now a college
student in Hawaii. as a birthday present to her, I agreed to cover
the cost of a navel ring for her so she could be as cool as all the
other coeds on the Hawaiian beaches.
sis and I arrived at golden body rings after perusing the chi-chi fashions at urban outfitters for an hour. we had both eaten a sandwich and were ready and rarin' to go. I wanted sis to go first, as I was sure mine was going to hurt worse than hers and I didn't want her to chicken out. I hope I wouldn't either.
her navel pierce went well. she chose a very nice blue agate bead to go with her ring, and the pierce itself was pretty uneventful. she flinched a little, that was it. it was a far cry from when she was 9 and I took her to the doctor to get her ears pierced, she screamed like a banshee when the gun went through her little earlobes! but, it's more than 10 years later and she took it well. she got up with a big smile on her face and walked around with her shirt up, sporting her new ring around the shop.
my turn. sis decided to go outside for a smoke and since kurtis locks the doors when he's piercing someone, that meant she wouldn't be around. that was ok with me. my SO, romero, was with me, holding my hand. I did deep breathing. I was scared. I felt the cold antiseptics. I felt the placements. I felt the clamps owwwwwwwwwww that hurts and then the needle OW! MOTHER! I started to cry. dammit, that was bad, oh that was bad. oh shit kurtis, I don't think I can do the next one, oh my god......
kurtis looks at me and says, don't worry, I'll do it for you. you can do it. come on....
ok. breathe. breathe ow the clamp oh god. breathe. breathe i'm whimpering, I feel the point of the needle, and then....
well, I screamed. at the top of my lungs. but it was very
interesting because as I screamed it was as if something came out of
me as the needle went into me. I opened my eyes and looked at the
ceiling and started to laugh...the endorphins hit me like a freight
train...I raised up my hands in triumph!
after the rings were placed and I was cleaned up, I was shaking like a leaf and kurtis gave ma a tootsie pop and a glass of water, but I wanted to get up and felt like I could run 10 miles. my legs weren't working well and I spent the next half hour being shakily lead around the shop by my sweet sis, lolly in my mouth, kurtis and romero watching and urging me to sit down. but my body was telling me to walk it off, and that's exactly what I did.
so here I am, a couple months later. I don't even like to think
about the whole experience, my breasts start to ache if I do. but
that lessens with time. the pierces are pretty much healed up now,
although I still get occasional crusties after a good bump. and I
love the way my breasts look now, which I exactly what I was aiming
for! I love to wear tank tops with the rings showing thru the fabric.
I look at myself in the mirror and feel proud that I had enough guts
to go through with it, that I was able to get beyond the pain.
--- Madelyn Law
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 01 March 1999
in Nipple Piercing