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A Hole and a Half: My Tongue Web

font size=+1>Part One: A half

I've always wondered about the magic number 18- to us Americans, it says FREEDOM more so than our flag! When you're eighteen, you can do anything you want, you can get better jobs, you can ride a bicycle without a helmet, you can buy things off tv, you can surf the naughtiest pages on the net (if you want to, that it :shrug:), or you could, um, get your tongue pierced.

Yeah, right!

That's pretty much (in a nutshell) what my mom said to me after I popped this newly-founded ritual question many teens seem to go through these days. "No way is any kid of mine going to such-and-such school getting anything like that pierced!" Oddly enough though, she hasn't considered two rows of holes through my ears (which have been stretched, too, fancy that, she just "thinks they are a little bigger than usual-") self mutilation (and I told her been there, done that) as long as they don't touch the 'sacred' catilage of my poor adulterated little ears.

I had seen and read some of BME, I was much more knowledgable than just any chick on the streets (I'll brag- the majority of them all)- and I had this reoccuring thought every once in a while. "Hey, you, yeah you- what about that huge monstro web under your tongue?" (I'm all web- piercing my tongue would be VERY difficult on a bad day!) And I thought back to myself "Hey, what a great idea- it's not like anyone's going to see it, it's not like ANYONE has to know!"

After truly thinking about this for a while, I waited until my supervision unit was out for the day. I biked my little fanny down to a Rite-Aid type store and spent my heart out on all sorts of things I knew I would need, leather needles (cause their thicker than just regular ones, and sewing needles are just a bad idea), medical tape, some "plier" looking things (which I think are actually those special toenail clippers! oh well!), some other things -words fail me-, and all the cool mint listerine I could handle!

Well, as for the jewelry...................

That was almost a lost cause, the only possible -an smallest- thing I could find was a SSS CBR, about 18ga. and maybe (cause it's not like I can see it now! duh!) 5/8-3/4 '' di. (I know! I know! And it was only $7- kill me!)

I hoarded my loot and spent a good two hours prep in the only bathroom that locks soaking and heating anything that would come in contact with my mouth in 100% Listerine (and that can be MEAN stuff).

Come my little "happy" hour (and I do mean hour) I opened my mouth and stared sickly into the 10000X magnifying mirror on the wall. I held my tongue up limping using my fingers (to stretch the web) , picked a place, positioned my hands in the most strategically possible position and went for it. A LONG time later, I was sitting weakly in the bathroom with my not so little CBR in my mouth!!!!! It hadn't hurt much (come on now, would you feel a not regulation- piercing sharp needle jabbing through the thing that holds your tongue down? I think so!) but I had definitely felt it- my tongue did NOT like sitting idle while I hacked around at it!

Mistake #1: I washed my hands and went for a bike ride.

I could feel the humongous ball bouncing up and down in my mouth- so I tried to find a smaller ring around town for it. I finally found one that met my approval (and belive me I looked!) This one was more like $20, but it was a little nicer (and SMALLER, don't forget SMALLER!) but alas- I couldn't get the ball to stay in, so I tried to put my huge one back into this now-tired little hole (but well placed, it was a well placed hole) on the bottom of my mouth. No such luck- I had to live my life with either ring in my mouth, but no ball- an that was no picnic. Imagine eating dinner and having to go to the restroom twenty times to adjust this thing that only you know about! It get s rather suspicious!!

But I was terrible to that hole. I cleaned it 60% as much as I should have (but at least 1x a day, at nite) and I played around with it way too much, it was an addiction! You have no idea how hard it is to not play with one until you get one!

Part Two: A hole

It was a sad day- but I decided to take my little friend ("Webster", I even named it!) (Aw, but it was so cute! Almost like a pet who needs listerine twice a day!) out due to HUGE scar formations (think tube projections, NOT pretty). A week and a half later, after it was TOTALLY healed and there were VERY minute scars -which I'll probably have forever, go figure- I decided to go for it again. I used the same procedures, only I pierced it MUCH deeper to avoid my previous formation-friends and I left the huge ball our for all eternity, as it's just a pain in the ass and doesn't help matters anyway.

So here I am, three weeks later (exactly, actually) and my new little webster- ette <g> is doing fantastic! It's almost 100% healed- I'd say just another week to be safe. It has never been touched by the evil huge ball, and it's only slipped once (funny, before I was rearranging it constantly). It hasn't grown anything gross, it's really really happy! And I love it to death- and no one knows. The ideal thing to have for paranoid parents (who have NO idea it even exists, which is impressive considering they've had 3wks+5wks jewelry-in- time to notice it -although other people have asked if there's anything metal in my mouth, I tend to yawn with my tongue up-)

And it was well worth it. I don't care what anyone else thinks of it, and come to think of it, anyone reading it right now is the second (and then maybe third, and so on) to actually hear about it, I think I'll go celebrate!

Things That You'll Notice Whether You Like it or Not!:

Your tongue web holds your tongue down. Move your tongue around a lot, and YEAH! You'll feel that ring! (and I wouldn't play too much at first if I were you, especially if you'd have seen my scarring :( )

Whistling: Let's just say you CAN hit the natural frequency of that metal in your mouth, and it makes it that much more obvious! (and it vibrates- yikes!)

Learn to NOT extend your tongue beyond your teeth often, I'm STILL (after 8+wks!) learning how in the world I eat ice cream !!!!

And all sorts of other little fun facts- it's a big change.

So much for the magical number 18. I guess I've bent the rules, but I've been careful- if you do this to yourself you should know what you're getting into, and be prepared to take the most bizarre consequences (should the case arise- it hasn't for me).

And no matter how much bitching I've said in the last 5 minutes you've been reading, I don't hate it at all.

All right, that's it! I'm calling the Mothership!

mailto:[email protected]


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 01 Oct. 1998
in Tongue Piercing

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