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How To Make Mistakes

This is one of the experiences that you do not emulate by any means necessary. Unless you enjoy swollen lips and being grounded. This is to show you what NOT to do when you desperately want a medusa piercing, as I did.

It all started early this past October. For whatever reason, I became hell-bent on procuring a medusa piercing. I did plenty of research, and then promptly ignored the dangers of misguided do-it-yourself jobs. I went on to hound my parents endlessly. In retrospect, I realize that this was perhaps not the best course of action. But I, being a hormonal and whiny teenager, wanted it badly. I did not give up, dropping not so subtle hints at every chance, but to no avail. So I decided to take matters into my own hands.

"Mom, if you don't take me to the piercing studio, I will pierce it myself." I offered my ultimatum, and it was brushed off as me being silly. When she still said "no", I held up my end of the bargain.

Okay, this is the part where you learn from my mistakes, and swear off all stupid decisions like mine. If you want to DIY, use NEEDLES and make sure they're sterilized. And make sure you know what you're doing! I cannot stress this enough! Know that it WILL swell, and make sure the jewelry you have will actually fit!

Back to the fun part. The only suitable sharp and shiny object I could obtain was a safety pin (oh just wait, it gets better). The reason for this is that I didn't want to look too suspicious by hoarding sewing needles. I then took the tray of ice from the freezer and some throat numbing lozenges up to my room. I also brought some water and paper towels. The ice I brought up was to numb my philtrum. Stupid me, I didn't even pause to think that maybe shoving a pointy object through my flesh would reduce in swelling! But that's the best part, which will be saved for later.

Next, I "sterilized" it with some ear care antiseptic from the mall. Then, I ran it over an open flame. I did the same with the jewelry, which was one of those studs that comes when you get your ears pierced at the mall. Another moment worthy of a slap to the face. I then swiped my skin with the same antiseptic and held an ice cube on the outside, and one of the throat lozenges on the inside. I did this for about thirty minutes. Now, while I'm a masochist, I have the most difficult time with piercing myself. I have no idea why, but that's why there was so many attempts at numbing trying to occur.

After I considered my efforts suitable, I placed the safety pin at the designated location. Deep breath in. One. Two. Three... I look back up at the mirror and it's barely in. It hardly even poked the skin. I knew at this point this was a battle I was going to lose, but I refused to admit defeat. I tried pulling my upper lip down, trying my best to simulate clamps. Another deep breath. One. Two. Three...HOLY EXPLETIVE. It wasn't even a quarter of the way through, and I was cursing myself for lack of cajones.

I'll pause for a moment to let you know of my plan on hiding a facial piercing from my parents. It was quite ingenious, really. If you are a brain-dead rock. All I had to do was sleep with the piercing in, and take it out during the day. Brilliant, yes? I really hope my sarcasm shows through, because I quickly noticed how god-awful that idea truly was.

Back to the stabbing. At this point, the ice and throat lozenge effect was not even worth noting, even though it was quite meager from the start. It was time to go balls to the wall. I even tried to psyche myself up in the mirror. "You really want this. You're almost done. You can do this." So...another deep breath. One...two...three! A pinch, and poof! There was a hole in my face. I really wish I had taken a picture, it was quite a site to see a safety pin dangling from my lip. I stared at myself for a moment. You did it. You pierced yourself. Go you.

Upon further inspection, I noticed my top lip was a tad puffy. No big deal. I had reached my goal. Now time to insert the jewelry. However, upon some even further inspection, the jewelry was one size too large. What? Were my efforts fruitless? All of those countless minutes, striving for a piercing I needed, wasted on a bulky stud? No! I refuse to give up! I removed the safety pin, and place the stud in front of the new hole. Deep breath. One...two...three...nothing. It turns out the stud was twice as large. It was over. My dreams were crushed. Oh well, I thought, just wait until you can get it done professionally. And of too bed I went.

The next morning, I woke up at the crack of dawn to prepare for school. What a funny story I had to tell! I look in the mirror to begin brushing my teeth and I gasp. My lip! It was HUGE. And when I say huge, I mean REALLY HUGE. I looked like the Michelin Man had designed my lips in his own image.

Long story short, I walked down the stairs, hugged her and said, "you are going to be so pissed at me". I got banned from an annual family outing, and was grounded from the computer for two weeks. Lesson most certainly learned.

Although, not all hope was completely lost. I managed to come out to my mother on our way to school. I thought I'd clear the air all at once, and it provided a lovely anecdote to tell our GSA.

Happy modding, everyone, and try not to be as ignorant as me!


submitted by: ArgyleOctopus-1
on: 01 May 2008
in Lip Piercing

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Artist: Me.
Studio: My+room.
Location: My+house.

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