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ode to septum

It all started with a boring afternoon. I felt invigorated to get myself a new piercing and I was noticing how easy it was to get a septum pierced. I've never pierced myself before, but I was broke enough to do it now. I bought myself a 14g sterilized hollow needle and got a friend that knew how to make a man push the limit. After 5 minutes of pain and sorrow, I had myself a septum at 16g. I knew it needed some space to relax and didn't take much advantage of the moment, so I let the piercing heal with lots of sea-salt. There was a bit of soreness in the time being but after a good amount of time to heal, I had myself a comfortable septum.

With a stupid plan, I got my old captive barbell [12g] from my packages and got it in after a prequel stretch from a 14g. This was to pull off during my 08' prom and it sure was a big hit with the ladies and gents. It was in for a great amount of time and with the fact that the ball on the ended countered as a weight, my septum was up for a fresh stretching a few months later! I found out about the new invention, U-shaped pieces called 'retainers'. They were a gift from god and I got myself a beautiful metal 10g. It slipped right in and I never had it down. It was my own little secret.

With a few months later, I was on towards a new gauge, 8. This one was no big deal at all, and I got a new retainer for such a cheap price! It was bought in from somebody and never picked up, so I got it for 10$. It went right in, as usual. I was starting to have high hopes that this septum I had was perfect until I noticed the straightness of the item being slightly off...I had high hopes that it would all change after a lot more stretching.

I went all the way out to Pasadena, ca to get myself a 7g because I thought it would help to go slow because the gauges were getting a bit larger than usual. It slipped right in, and the owner himself told me that the septum was straight and seemed professional as can be. The septum was soon switched out for a large 6g piece back and forth all the time. I got my septum use to it after taking it in and out and finally getting a silicone piece to make the septum inconspicuous. It hurt to get in, since the silicone piece was double-flared and really small, but it was the best piece I've ever had. After a great amount of time of that piece sitting in my septum, I knew the time had come for a beautiful 4g. I bought a silicone piece because I had fallen in love with these double-flared pieces. Sadly enough, this piece did not want to go in. it was obviously not time, so I took lots of time soothing the septum and taking the double-flared 6g in and out to get it slightly use to the stretch. I had worn a heavy 6g as well and looked ever-so brutal. I started to notice light on the other side after a great amount of time in front of the vanity mirror. It was like the light to heaven; I slowly put a 16g behind it, then switched it for a 14g. I took them all out and slipped in the 4g as ease! It was double-flared and all! It was the most painless stretch of all! This one felt lubed [from all the bogies] and there was no pain [let it be known I was about to knock out from a Unisom sleeping pill]. With victory in my head, I slept the night away.

5-6 months later, I have been watching videos all about stretching to a 2g and was so determined. I got a friend to get me a 2g taper and bought yet another silicone 2g piece [double-flared]. I got the 2g taper in with ease, but couldn't seem to get the 2g in with all the effort! Knowing that the 2g stretch is quite a jump, I rested with my mere 4g and waited another day. I thought it was because the piece was double-flared so I went out to buy a gorgeous metal 2g that looked pretty hefty, but it was unflared and it had a home in not only my heart, but my nose. I tried again; pushing the lubed 2g taper through my septum with less pain this time but still couldn't budge in the un-flared piece. I got it in a little, on the one side, but it didn't want to pass the rest. I went to my nearest parlor and had the pieces measured since something had to be wrong. The girl said the unflared metal piece was great and on the dot a 6.5mm. the taper on the other hand was a rare 3g, 5.9mm.
I wept, feeling the victor had a plastic trophy. My pride was squished knowing that I was far from the goal of a 1/4".

I started searching for 3g pieces all over the net, knowing my septum can handle it, even though the stretch is a bit of a hassle but doable. I found myself a site I've been going all the while, onetribe! They had a piece that was just what I was looking for, and all the more bamboo. The people in my parlor suggest bamboo all the time for septums because of the nutritional qualities it supplements. Supposedly, a bamboo piece in a septum leads to quicker healing as well as thicker skin. I bought it as soon as possible and they arrived in less than a week! I popped one of those bad boys as soon as possible. It was a close stretch; I felt the burn and the sore nose. It was worth it, being the bridge to the next block. That piece of jewelry was the biggest pain in my entire life. It would always dry up, and the more jojoba and vitamin e oil I put on, it felt like it was just sucking it back out... it also made my nose feel very uncomfortable and I put up with that bad boy for a good 3 weeks. I had to try and get in the unflared metal piece and gave it a push. It went in like magic! I felt relieved getting that disgusting piece out my nose and vowed to never make my fistula ever go through such a scary moment like that again.

Right now I have my unflared metal piece in and it is a week before New Year's. I feel so comfortable with my metal piece; I'm a little ashamed I am going to have to switch it out for the silicone piece. The metal piece still give a pain to the touch of the tip of the nose and I found out why, the nose uses the skin of the septum to have extra room being pushed back like that and with a 6.5mm piece of metal in the way, naturally it will give an ouchie! I need to get the silicone in sooner or later, but I'm going to wait that off until the day before New Year's. If it doesn't work out, I will just handle the metal piece in for a good month and give another go. By then, I know the silicone will fly right in.

Overall, I didn't know I was going to go as big as I am now. It is a beauty that I take in vain. I show off the septum droop with pride, the slightly visible metal piece even gives me shivers. I don't know if I would ever go off to a 0g. I think the only case for going up to an 8.2mm piece would be to stop the septum from being so gosh-dang roomie. The 0g septum pictures do look gorgeous, though. The septum shows in full force on the side of the nose, but I don't think I'm prepared to show everybody my septum. Remember, I haven't worn a big piece in there since my 6g! People would be horrified to see the growth of this hole and I would be scared to be opened up as an outcast. The only reason I even went as far as I did was because of the spontaneous boost of confidence I felt growing with it and looking at mere 14g septums and laugh and conquer! It also taught me to not take life so seriously, I would look at my face with depression and laugh once I saw that septum peaking an d waving to say 'hello'.

I would suggest a septum to everybody! It is the nicest piercing to have. It heals very quickly, never gives any trouble, and as long as you are nice to it and give it lots of time with oil baths, it will treat you like gold as well! Hope this story helped the poor sap googling 'septum stretches' like I would and hope to god it would give advice for that next boost it took!

PS: you will get there, kiddos.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 29 Dec. 2009
in Nose Piercing

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