My first (and only) erotic cutting experience
For as long as I can remember, I have been fascinated by anything involving domination and submission. In history classes in school I used to want to find out everything I could about all kinds of punishments/torture that had been used in the past and, even as young as five or six I used to love role playing in games with my friends as a submissive character. Of course it wasn't until I was 13 or so that I realised that it was a sexual thing and that all of my curiosity and fascination during my childhood had been building up to me desperately wanting to submit to a dominant male.
I am now 21. I spent my late teens being in a relationship where I didn't discuss my desires to my partner, who didn't share the same feelings. By the time I was 18, I decided to end the relationship. I had a couple of sexual relationships since splitting up with my ex-boyfriend, but I still lacked the confidence to 'come out' as a submissive and so only ever had regular (whatever that means!) sex.
About ten months ago, I met by chance someone who was highly experienced in playing a dominant role sexually. We began a relationship and finally I felt that I could admit my desires which, up until that point, I was deeply embarrassed about. Although we had been together for a month or so, we hadn't yet slept together but had begun to discuss it. He was very careful to ask about the extent to which I wanted to experience being dominated and I was 100% sure that I wanted all he could give. I had been longing for this for as long as I could remember and just talking about it turned me on. I knew that I cold absolutely trust him with my life and I was passionately in love with him even by that point and so I had no fear about the experience, only apprehension and a nervous kind of excitement.
We decided that, in order to heighten the eventual experience, we wouldn't see each other again for another couple of weeks and only communicate by text and phone. This was convenient because I was due to stay at my family home over Christmas, which is about 200 miles from where I live, and where my boyfriend lives. Throughout the next couple of weeks, Tom text me messages saying what he was going to do to me and told me that I was going to obey him in everything that he wanted me to do. Just reading the texts gave me shivers, but in a fantastic way! As the days went on, I became more and more excited and nervous. I couldn't concentrate on anything because all I could think about was seeing Tom again. Then one day I received a text that made me shake with nerves; Tom said that he was going to mark me as his property by cutting me. I really was frightened by this; anything to do with needles or anything sharp really scares me and so I found the thought of being cut very diffic
ult to handle.
However, I was desperate to be marked and I saw it as an ultimate sign of submission and dedication and so I agreed that on the day that we would see each other after Christmas, I would be cut.
The days went by and I had an ecstatic mix of adrenaline, nerves and sexual excitement racing around my body all of the time. When the day eventually arrived, I caught the train from my family home to my boyfriend's house, which took about 5 hours. During this time I became more and more nervous and by the time I finally got there, I was quivering with excitement. He took me back to his flat and so began my first 'session' being heavily dominated by my partner. In the following hours, I felt more pain, more fright than ever before and had more orgasms than I have ever experienced in my life!! It was an incredibly intense experience and I knew that once it was over, I was going to be cut.
When the time finally came, Tom gave me a choice of where I wanted to be cut; either on the back of my neck, on the mound of my pussy or on the top of the inside of my thigh. I chose the last option because I believed it would be the least painful and, stupidly, the most easily hidden. Clearly I didn't think it through too well! He got out a fresh Stanley knife that he had sterilised and began to inscribe his name into my skin. I could feel pain, but it was one of the most erotic bonding experiences I have ever had and so I hardly noticed the physical pain. He carefully cut each letter and then we took photographs of the result. I had been so, so scared through the whole experience but because I trusted him completely, I also really enjoyed it. After he had finished, we had sex and I fell asleep in a haze.
This experience happened about 8 months ago and his name is still perfectly clear on my leg. I am still with my boyfriend and we are planning on moving in together. I feel now that I am very glad that I have only ever been submissive to him, and no other man. The scar healed very cleanly and I made sure that I cared for it in pretty much the same way I would a piercing; making sure it was kept clean and washed regularly. I often find myself looking at my scar and I'm really glad I have it. It's a bit of a problem when I go to the beach or go swimming but I don't regret it at all. And even if Tom and I don't make it as a couple, I will always treasure the scar because it will forever remind me of the first day of my true sexual awakening.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 11 Sept. 2008