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My chest-suicide combo suspension.

It was now Wings of Desire - Oslo suscon again and time for my sixth suspension. I've been thinking about what suspension I would want to do ever since the last suscon in Oslo. Since I had done a resurrection there last year I wanted to do something special this year too. As the date came closer I found out that I wanted to go for a chest-knee combo, then cut down to chest after a while. The main reason was that I wanted to try to have hooks in my chest to see if I was up for the challenge. The day that I arrived in Oslo (Friday the 18th of July) I figured out that I wanted to try a chest-suicide combo instead. The though of having hooks in my knees just didn't appeal to me, even though I though my issues with that had passed after I did a knee suspension one year ago. But no, my stomach turned every time I thought about it so I changed my mind.

Sunday came and it was my turn to suspend. I wanted to hang in the afternoon, right before I had to work as a volunteer for the event again. The time went by really fast, I was enjoying my lunch when I looked at the time and it was just 30 minutes to go. I'm always nervous before a suspension, I just hate getting the hooks in me. Have always hated it and will always hate it! But I felt strangely calm when I had taken of my t-shirt and stood there in my little bikini-top getting marked. The strangest thing is that I always feel completely naked when ever I'm getting marked and I know that it's going to happen soon. I feel like I'm exposing myself to the whole wide world, but it doesn't make me nervous, strange enough. We had some problems with the top, it was to narrow when it was used the "halterneck" way, so I got some help to tie it in another way. If I felt naked with it on I would have felt even more exposed with a bare naked chest, so it stayed on.

The chest hooks were actually not that bad. But since I hate getting hooked (not pierced, that is fine, but as long as it is hooks I think it will hurt like hell), I thought it would be six hundred times worse than it was. I actually thought that the hooks in the back were more painful this time! But it is often better to hope for the best but expect the worst, as I do a lot. I had to sit up when we pierced the back, and it made me really dizzy. Never gotten that feeling after getting pierced, so I knew that my body would have a great experience this time! Now I just had to have a big mouth full of water and I would be ready to get air-borne.

As I walked up to the rig and ropes I couldn't help to think about old torture devices. I was hanging from a squared rig and with all the bolts and rope points it looked a bit freaky. Lucky for me the rig was going to be far away from my head, and my eyesight is not that good ether so I wouldn't even see it. I had told my friend Peter (iam:Paindreamer) that I wanted him with me all the time for moral support and when I saw his face I got really calm and started joking around like I always do. I was well aware that I couldn't see the seriousness in that moment at that time, but I really wanted to "monkey around" before I cut the back ropes. I asked for the rope, I wanted to tug on it a little before my feet left the ground. I wanted to try just running into the suspension after a little walking. I put some weight on the hooks and I could feel right away that my back took most of the body weight. I didn't mind, but I didn't want it that on purpose. I pulled on the rope until I
was standing on my toes, gave the rope to Ben (iam:lefrog) and started walking by myself. It felt better than I thought, but I still had problems leaving the ground (as always with vertical suspensions). I started taking deep breaths, I didn't know why I did that because I have never taken breaths like that during other suspensions, and after a few minutes I started to get mentally ready and I just kicked off, and it felt great!!

Most of the weight was on my back hooks, but I could still feel a massive pull on my chest. The skin under my arms was really tight, but it was actually not that uncomfortable. The only thing was that I didn't know where to put my hands. I continued with the deep breaths, which still felt strange and a little awkward, but also good in a way. I was only a few inches over the ground, but I wanted to have full control over this situation and I wanted to do my own thing. Didn't want to be pushed around for this one, just wanted to focus on me because I knew that if I got scared by the speed or the tension on the chest hooks early, I would finish the suspension fairly quick. After a little while I felt mentally ready to go down and cut the suicide ropes and try a chest suspension.

At the moment we cut the back ropes I felt that the rig would be a big old pain in the arse. It was constantly turning to the left, and it made me unfocused and really pissed of, which was NOT what I was going for at all! And since my back support had been cut away two minutes earlier I felt that I was going to fall to the ground every second. I decided to just lean back and relax for a minute and it felt really good actually. When I stood up straight again I just got really tired so I held on to the ropes and asked to sit down. It felt like a wave of heat had just hit me and I got Peter to use a paper plate as a fan and cool me down. I didn't feel like I was passing out or something, I was just really hot. After ten minutes on the chair I decided that it was now or never. Peter had told me that it's better to hold someones hand and get not only someone to lean on but also mental support. It felt really good holding someones hands, and even better because it is someone I know well and trust. We walked back and forth a few times, the tension on the hooks became more and more noticeable and I felt more and more ready. I got a good grip around Peters arms and I decided to lift up my legs. It actually didn't feel that bad, and if no one had clapped I don't think that I would have understood that I was actually hanging! I think I was up a good 20 seconds and then I just needed a break.

When I got to the ground I was going to open my mouth and say "wow" or "awesome" or something in that direction, but as I opened my mouth I just started to cry. I have never experienced something like that, ever in my life. It was not from the pain or nothing bad, I have really no idea. I have heard that things like this happens when you do challenging suspensions, but I was really not prepared for that. I'm glad Peter was there looking me in the eyes and still holding my had and wiping the tears of my face. I tried to laugh because I was so happy, but I only cried more. I said that I wanted to try again to see if I could hang longer, but after one minute I felt that my body was completely done! I told Peter and Ben that I wanted to cut the rope. It felt really good to be "free", my body felt like jelly and I went over to my best friend Mari (iam:mari-lou) just to talk and I told here that it was amazing, and: "I didn't know why I cried but I just...." and then I cried some more. The hard and irritating thing about crying with hooks in the front and the back is that when I really needed a hug I couldn't get one. I wiped my tears and went to get aftercare. The tears on my face kept on rolling and I walked on proud. God, I was amazingly proud of myself. During the aftercare I was talking to Peter, Mari and two other friends about my time in the air. And I just broke down again and cried again. It's really hard to explain, but it was completely overwhelming! It would have been easier for me to understand if I had been in strong pain or something like that, but I really dint know what happened to my brain or my body.

I am really glad I had this amazing experience and that I had my close friends there. The only thing that could have made it better is if my boyfriend was there. And that is the only complaint! I would have done it 10 times over, and then a few times more. This is without any doubt the best experience I have had during suspension. I have never had this reaction to things like this before, and I hope I will continue to have them ones in a while (not all the time, I love the fun, "un-serious" part of suspension also).


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 31 July 2008
in Ritual

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Artist: Hooks+thrown+by+iam%3AHARDCORE+and+iam%3Aserenity
Studio: At+Wings+of+Desire+08+Oslo+suscon
Location: M%E5nefisken+in+Oslo

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