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Happy Birthday...

June 8th 2007, on the eve of my 22nd birthday, I
was about to do the most incredible thing in my life... Suspension.

At a few occasion I tried to get suspended, but I never made it for several
reasons. But this time I was ready and I knew it. I had done a pulling from my
elbows a few weeks before. Pierced both arms, and did everything on my own. I
knew that I wouldn't be able to submit myself to the needle if I couldn't have
the control over it... after it I was ready to go.

The few weeks before my suspension really had me on a down mood; something was
sucking me below, and really causing me psychological and emotional pain. I even
had to stop work due to anxiety issues. (McDonald was not really the best place
for me to be) But even without a job, I was ready to go to Quebec, I had planned
this for way too long, and I couldn't give it up at this point. I was ready to
suspend and I had to do it at this very time in my life.

Finally got myself to Quebec, and ran up to the shop. It felt good to see back Efix and the crew! Chatted with Vinz
who was tattooing me the next day. And slowly time was passing by. We had to
wait 'till the shop closed to have some quietness. At some point I realized
things were getting ready. Closing time was coming by and I was still nervous
about it. I sat in the room, looking at the rig for a good 15/20 minutes trying
to find inner peace. Time came, Efix started by marking my back for the 4 point
suicide. Anxiety was building up, and I was only sitting down on the table. When
came time for the first needle.... I was on the verge of break down. Efix sat down
next to me and we talked about a lot of stuff... about an hour into the
conversation I finally asked to start it off with 2 hooks first. It was a pain,
but yet they got in. Efix turned on some Children of Bodom. We moved to the
suspension rig, I got attached, and started to do some pulling. Efix explained
me how to pull by sitting on the ground. I sat in Indian, and leaned forward,
moved my self forward a few inches and pulled again for another 2 minutes,
pulled myself forward, and so on. At my maximum stretch, I stayed for about 10
minutes.... Efix told me that we could either stop with the 2 hooks, or if I
wanted to we could get the 2 others in... at this very point I WANTED the 2
remaining hooks.

Efix got the hooks free from the rig, and we headed back to the piercing table.
They were a real bitch to get in, but the 4 hooks were all in. I was ready to
pull some more, but we took a few minutes, so my skin would be ok with the new
hooks. But in no time I was sitting down and pulling again against the hoist... I
felt like I was ok, leaned a bit back, but couldn't fully lean forward again... I
understood that has long has I kept the pressure on, I'd be ok. So I placed
myself in a push up position, the hooks lifting me about 6 inches from the
ground. I was controlling the pressure on my back with my elbows.... In 2 minutes,
I was ok and told Efix to lift me a bit more. This time my elbows were off the
ground, my hips were resting still on the ground. A few minutes later, I got
lifted again where only my hands and knees could touch the ground. 2 more
minutes and I couldn't touch the ground with my hands anymore. I realized at
this point that I was going up, there and then. So I grabbed my ankles, my knees
barely touching the ground. I told Efix to get me up; he lifted about 3 or 4
inches... I was airborne! I was off the ground. I yelled at him to get me up so I
couldn't touch the ground. I was scared like shit that I couldn't get my self
back up...

This is the time that I don't have words for. It was simply the best minutes of
my life.... and still 2 months later, I'm having a hard time putting words on the
feelings I had that night... All I can really say is that I've simply start
swinging as soon has I was up. I loved the feeling of not being supported by my
feet. After 25 minutes, I asked to get down. I was feeling like I had what I was
looking for.

I pulled my legs into a lotus position, and has I was lowered, I landed sitting
down. I clearly remember Efix saying "Welcome back". And somehow, I felt like
everything that I had to leave down in order to go up were gone. No more
worries, simply happiness.

Efix got the rig detached from the hooks, we went into his room, and removal of
the hooks started. I had quite a few rice crispies. The back massage was
relaxing. Slowly I came to the realization that I had been up, and I was already
back. Shortly after I was off for the hostel and down for the night. But I was
so high on the adrenaline, after several hours in bed; I fell asleep, not
without feeling like I was still suspended.

The high lasted me a week. Then I was finally able to look back and understand
what happened. I had simply had a moment of pure happiness. I then understood
that I had to strive for these moments since in this life there is too few of
them. My mind was clearing up, and the down feelings were over. I mean, why even
bother with these downs; we are in our body for too short of a time.

Has time got by, things have really improved and following the suspension, I
finally got a call to start my apprenticeship. So things did got better, and on
my quest for happiness, I don'T think I'm the happiest person in this world, but
at least I know that it's what I'll strive for.

PS: For anyone who think this must have hurt
like hell, have you seen my smile?

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 12 Sept. 2007
in Ritual

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Artist: Freak+Doctors+%2F+Efix
Studio: D-Markation
Location: Quebec+City

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