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Resurrection – suspension from hell!

The first time I caught sight of a resurrection suspension was a couple of years ago and the one I witnessed looked so painful that my intuition told me to never try it myself. The next two times I witnessed the resurrection was just a repetition of the first time and none of the boys trying it managed to get up in the air. After this I actually felt a little bit afraid of the resurrection. It seemed to be so intensive and painful, not to mention the totally unnatural position. It looked like it was not totally impossible to break some important body parts hanging like that.

This summer I visited Wings of Desire in Oslo, Norway, and there were a couple of resurrection suspensions that actually made me interested in this suspension position. It is such a beautiful suspension and it seemed to be a fantastic experience to people who did it. In Oslo I did a fantastic coma suspension which made me less afraid of getting hooked in the stomach. Before my coma it seemed to be a very painful body part to get hooked in. After this new impressions and experiences I started to think that maybe, sometime in the future, I should try the resurrection myself.

A couple of months later christiane did a resurrection and her story and pictures made me really interested and when she did it again, just a little while after and really seemed to like it, I decided that it was time for me to try it out and I set the date to January 13th 2007.

The day came closer and closer and I was more and more nervous. But just a few weeks before our planned suspension meeting we got an e-mail telling us that we could not use our usual place. I am not going to explain this problem any closer and as a matter of fact we succeeded to talk them into letting us use it just this one last time. It seemed to be impossible to find another place for us to use so that was really good but this whole problem was a source of irritation and really disturbed my mental preparations and made me unfocussed on the coming suspension. I was now very nervous and of course I got another irritating problem – a cold and if I didn't get well there would be no suspension for me. But the day before our planned date I felt pretty well and decided to do it. That evening I sat in front of my computer to look at pictures of other resurrections. Stupid of me, this, of course, only made me more nervous. And I started to think that maybe it was not such a good idea.

The day of the suspension meeting started in a really bad way. We were really stressed out and my mother, who was supposed to baby sit our son, was late. I and my husband bena were really irritated with each other and I decided that I should not go ahead with my plans. But when we finally got away, came to the place and everything was finished we talked and he told me that he and BAUN had brought the music I wanted for my suspension but had not had the time to download it. Right away I started to feel in the mood again. Of course the sign of the hooks and needles and the smell of Techni-care also made me feel good again. Finally when MissAnnThrope , Devil_Doll and zeel arrived I decided to go on with my plans.

I was the first on the schedule so I laid down on the bench and the crew started to prepare my body. Techni-care and marks for six hooks in my stomach. I didn't feel very nervous but it felt unreal in some way. I was totally unable to focus on my challenge and when the crew grabbed their hooks there was no way I could reach any kind of correct breathing or relaxing point. I laid there with the needles against my skin and the only thing I could think was "why am I doing this? why am I here?" and when I still couldn't let them hook me after lying there for about ten minutes I told them to go and do something else. So they went to prepare BAUN for his suicide suspension and only my friend Ulrika and MissAnnThrope stayed with me.

Maybe it was the stressful morning, the fight with my husband or maybe I just wasn't ready, I didn't know. What I knew was that I had to decide what to do. Should I or should I not? My friends really pushed me but they left the decision to me and finally I decided to go on. What the hell! It was only pain and it would be gone in a couple of minutes, I remember thinking (and of course I know I would be very disappointed on myself afterwards if I didn't try at least a little bit harder).

So, my turn again and again I had big problems to breathe properly and relax but I decided to just let them go through with the hooks. So the did and Ulrika hold my hand. It hurt like hell, especially by the ribs, and two hours later Ulrika showed me her hands: they still had marks from my nails... After some rest the last three hooks were put in place and this wasn't as painful as the first three hooks. But I still had to rest for a while before I was able to stand up.

I walked around for a while, made a visit to the toilet, ate some cookies, tried to warm up my body for my coming circus gymnastics and finally I sneezed. Very interesting; sneezing with hooks in my stomach, uhhh to feel the pain and at the same time try not to sneeze on the hooks. Not fun at all!

Well, well! Then came the time where I no longer could escape from the rig and I laid down on the bench. Bena rigged me and it was time to go up. The problem was just that I it felt totally impossible, not only because of the pain. It was also a very strange physical feeling. I had no idea what I should do to get up in the air. Where should my legs, head and arms go? My body felt heavy and uncomfortable. This was a strange feeling. In other suspensions you are just drawn up, jump for yourself or something, but this time I really didn't know what to do with my body and I had big problems with breathing. So it took time, long time, and a lot of pain. Finally, with Zeel on the rope, Ulrika holding my head, Devil_Doll and Bena holding under my back and Zeels girlfriend, Frida, holding my legs, they lift me up and then slowly let my body go; only Frida was still holding my legs. So far it felt ok but when Frida slowly let go of my legs it became worse. For every millimetre she lowered them it felt like I became ten kilo heavier. It hurt so badly and when she finally dropped them the pain was total. My whole body was filled with the pain, every little cell and I was unable to breathe. Somewhere, far away, I could here a loud roar. It was my body that screamed the pain out. I wasn't able to hang for many seconds and when I came down I said never, ever that I am going to try that again. But it only took a couple of minutes before I felt unfinished with my mission and wanted to go back up, and I did. We tried the same way as before but this time I came up directly. Again I stayed up for ten, very long, seconds and then I could not make it any longer. When I came down this time, I felt more satisfied and I felt that I had settled what I had intended to do, I felt very happy about myself. This was really hard, but I made it. I didn't do it for very long but I did it.

After coming down I did the aftercare myself. Took out the hooks and put on some bandages. I had a lot of air under my skin and when I took out the hooks the air started to bubble out from the holes, without me touching anything. When I am writing this, a week later, I still have a lot of air left.

This was the hardest suspension I have tried; it demanded so much from me, both physically and mentally. I am thinking a lot about it and how I felt and acted. First I said to myself that I would not ever try it again, but now I am starting to think that maybe I should. Maybe I can hang longer next time and really investigate the resurrection.

I want to thank paindreamer and christiane for inspiring me and I want thank everybody in the crew for helping me and having such patience with me.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 22 Feb. 2007
in Ritual

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