I had to commit suicide to be cured.
saturday. december 16th.
Today i did a suspension. Most people would either think it was weird, or that i'm fucked in the head. Actually, quite the opposite. Yes, the basic concept was to have hooks thrown into my back, and then being hung by skin. But there is so much more to it. Let me explain.
So, in the car ride up to Toronto, with the guitar player from Manic Prosperity, and Tyler from braebrook. We picked up wendy's, and a charger for the camera. We got to the BodyARTpro studio, and met Mike, Badur, and another girl there. The rigging was all set up and I looked at it, just imagining that i'd be up there, and doing that made my nerves get a pulse. It had hit me then, that there was no backing out. This was real. This is what i've been waiting for for months. Right in front of me.
So Mike brings me in to the piercing room, to choose whether I want to use 4 smaller hooks, or 2 larger ones. The 2 larger hooks looked a lot more enticing to me than the 4 smaller ones. Go big or go home, right?
So I wait around while he cleaned the room with disinfectant and whatnot for a few minutes, then he says he is ready when I am. So I take a deep breath, and follow him. I stand there, nervous as hell, while he marks my back with the violet ink. Once i'm marked up, Savage let's a huge fart go, to lighten the mood. So now that i've got my mind on not using my nose, I calm down a bit, and lay on the table to get the hooks thrown in. I lay on my stomach and prepare. I take the standard "three breaths in and out, then in and....pierce" . First he did my left side. It didn't hurt any more than my lip piercings did. He did my right, and it wasn't that bad either. I felt the needle go OUT of my skin then though. Nothign too bad. He gave the hooks a little tug, and I got a small idea of what this was going to feel like. I then go out for a smoke.
15 minutes later, I was being tied up to the rigging. Once I was all tied up, they told me to guide them through. It was all me from this point. I told them I wanted to walk back and forth, to test the tension. So Badur pulled me up a little, so my skin pulled off my muscle. This felt a little weird at first, but it wasn't too bad. Just a bit of pressure. I walk back and forth for another minute, and we keep bringing up the tension. The more tension there is, the more it hurt. This pain was a tight, burning sensation that hurt like the day Princess Diana died. By this time, i'm walking on my tippy toes and am just about up. So I take a step forward and do a jump, and then regretted doing it. It was the final amount of pain I would feel that day. That was how much this was going to hurt. So this was when I was thinking "it's either now or never", so I take my feet off the ground. Then I get hoisted up about 2 feet. At this point, the pain was unimaginable. It hurt SO much, but then I took some deep breaths, and went deep inside my head. I was thinking about how pain is just a feeling. Feelings can be changed. It's all a point of perpective. So I did something I never imagined possible. I looked at my pain like I wanted it. It was a good thing for this to happen. As soon as I pushed through all my thoughts, the feeling of pain became this feeling of euphoria. I didn't feel anything at that point. I DID IT! My vision went weird, and I thought I was going to faint, but I kept my composure. My vision went all colourful. Everything in my view was covered in those spots that you see when you stare at the sun for a minute or two. It was the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. I get brought down, and have a drink. (Please note, I'm doing my best to explain it, but what i'm saying isn't half of what was happening. You'd have to experience it yourself to have any idea as to what i'm talking about)
And then what do I do? I go up again! This time I know what to expect, and go right up. Then I start to pose a bit, and then I get a footing on a little platform, and start to push off. I start swinging and spinning, and the feeling of the most amazing bodybuzz ever was flowing through every part of my body. Thank God for adrenaline and endorphins! So I swung around for awhile, and then decided to come down after a few minutes.
I get brought down, and feel like a whole new person. If I can do this, and my mind can turn pain into pleasure, what can't I do? I have a whole new perpective on overcoming challenges and life itself seems so much more intense. Fights, verbal or physical, seem like nothing to me. Problems and issues I used to have, were now washed away, because I saw them with a new light. Nothing i've ever done could ever compare to this.
So once I got down, I layed back on the table, and took the hooks out. Then I get the massage. Oh fun fun. Since my skin was being stretched, I had small air pockets under my skin. So Mike had to get most of the air out of the only holes that were in my back. Haha. So as he pushes the air out of 4 holes, all I hear is squelching noises from the air squirting out of the holes. We got a few good ones too! So I was done.
I left with the biggest smile and a feeling of being the most inspired I have ever been in my life. Plus a bit of a sore back. aha.
I plan on doing this again soon.
I would reccommend it to anyone.
Thanks to the I Was Cured suspension team.
I really was cured that day.
I can't thank you enough.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 25 Dec. 2006