A natural high and a crackling head?
After procrastinating for about a year I finally worked up the courage to talk to Nic at Illicit on Krd about doing a suspension. I had read a few positive experiences on BME about him and he also seemed to be the only person in Auckland that I could find reviews on.
Come Tuesday of the next week I was booked in to do a warm up pull in the afternoon. Reality of what I was about to do only really hit me an hour or so before hand when my heart was pounding so hard I could barely eat but as Nic reassured me, nerves were really the worse part. I'd been attracted to suspensions by reading about the mental and emotional levels that they can produce, but am still realistic that it does not happen for everyone. Also the idea of a non permanent body mod really appealed as there was nothing I was aching to have that I can get now, but it has been too long since I'd had anything!
Even after reading quite a few experiences and not having had a piercing for bout 5 years, the sensation of the needle and hooks going horizontally through my back felt familiar yet quite foreign. Not nearly as painful as hyped up in my mind, though I knew it wouldn't be, just a nice, hot, all most 'meant to be there' sensation in my back. Throughout Nic was completely professional; opening packets in front of me, changing gloves countless amounts of times, as was Rachel who helped out, and answering my dumb, nerve racked, questions.
Moving downstairs to finish setting up I felt quite calm, now that I was finally here after thinking about it for so long (total procrastinator that I am) it seemed very right and normal. After locking the hooks and attaching them to the ropes, Nic began to guide me forward, all at my own pace. The first few sensations were divine when the hooks started to move, my back was alive with new feelings and my head and arms were buzzing. It was very reassuring having Nic remind me to breathe and to just take my time and having the support of my great friend Emma there too.
As I pulled more my back started to burn and getting past that mental and physical stop point of lifting the 2 metal bar stools attached at the other end of the rope was very difficult. Once passed though, pulling the stools up higher became much easier and empowering. Just getting the right footing and trying to keep my balance while my head was trying to go off to another realm was quite hard. I think all in all I lifted them 3 times with one break, finding it easier every time but being very aware of the mental stop point that nic described that I hadn't really thought about before. Once I became aware of it and pushed my self mentally, the clunking of the stools began as I managed to get them off the ground. Even though my back really started to ache and my legs were kind of shaky from tension, it was amazing trying to let the pain just wash over me and embrace it completely and just let the energy of the room flow through me. Unfortunately I sometimes thought too much about just getting the stools off the ground and not just trying to live in the moment.
Getting the hooks out was basically pain free (as it logically should be but my mind and body still created a huge defence reaction to it) and it felt quite odd not having this heavy hot sensation in my back anymore. Emma and I paid (forgot to tip!ops), said our thanks and left. I felt a bit disappointed that I didn't experience more of a mental, spiritual high during the pull, but as we walked to Ponsonby this amazing natural high overcame me and I couldn't believe I felt like this drug free as we spent hours talking and eating and buzzing afterwards. Even now a few days later as I think of it and look at the tiny holes in my back(which I wish would stay as a permanent reminder but they would just look like another freckle!) I'm really proud and happy that I did it.
My back ached for a while but the most bizarre thing was that I was left with this crackling sound in the back of my head and neck, as all this skin had been pulled to an extreme and was softly popping back into place. In regards to aftercare, I just left them alone pretty much, using some natural Living Nature antiseptic on the holes. I recommend this experience to anyone interested, just try to be in a good head space, maybe take some support with you and music and enjoy every moment regardless of what it gives you :) . Nic and Rachel were great, I felt totally comfortable in their hands and confident in their knowledge and abilities, and can't wait to go back to them to do my suicide suspension.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 25 Dec. 2006