The Spiritual Side Of Pain
I have been to this site many many times and it has " inspired" I will say, me to do something with my body.I wasn't going to do anything to escape other pains by causing pain but rather explore this pain to explore myself. I was gonna do this to explore my mind, to reach a new level of it and for spiritual reasons, this was gonna be my first stride into a practice of pain. I mean thats why I do the things that I do : drugs. I do drugs to explore my mind, to expand it to realize a higher level of spirituality , not to get fucked up or not to fit in, though I did not use them for this experience, I wanted to be able to completely focused on what I was doing to myself. When I saw the great things people do to themselves to bring them closer to themselves I was truly inspired by the great potential pain has for a level of connectivity or spirituality
I thought up a "project" if you will that would hopefully bring myself some sort of enlightenment. Its a piercing project , my first ever of anything body modification wise. Now I gave serious thought to this and decided that I would pierce my abdominal region with roughly 40 needles. I obtained these from a friend who was very generous and gave me them for free. He gave me about 20 thick brown needles and 20 blue thinner but longer needles (these were all fully sterilized and still in the packaging when I obtained them and were never taken out until the day of the actual piercing.) These were to be my equipment for an exploration I have never even become close to doing before. This was truly like losing my pain virginity, if you will.
I decided that I would do it late into the night so as I could fall asleep with them still in me and keep them in me for a couple of days. I started with the brown monsters. I punctured through my skin with the very first needle it didn't hurt to bad going in one side as it did going out the other. As I painfully pierced the other side of my body i stopped and though about what I had done to myself: I had just took a needle typically used for medical purposes and intruded my skin with it in order to cause myself pain, and I thought how successful I was. "So this is pain," I thought to myself and continued on to the next.
Around four later I thought that it would be a good time to meditate as the pain was excruciating (I have very tender skin.) The pain made the meditation a whole new experience. It help me keep my mind clear and cool. It allowed me to not concentrate on the silly thoughts that would have otherwise ran through my head. It was like the easy way to meditate, one of the best ways as well. I decided that I would call it for that night and head to bed
The next day I wake up and go through the day with my six brown monsters stuck inside of me like another typical day. Coming home I decided again that later that night I would complete my "project." I decided to try to used the rest of the brown needles and noticed that one of the holes was on the verge of infection so I took that needle out. This was not to stop the rest of my journey.
I started off with the brown backed needles and did 3 of them before I had to stop myself. The pain they brought me was not only excruciating but fatiguing. I couldn't do anymore of those, so I set off to doing the rest with the blue backed needles. I did the first one and realized that doing these slowly was not the way to go. These needles brought a more "pleasurable pain," I suppose, though not pleasurable in the masochistic sense. So knowing this I decided that I would do the rest of my blue ones that night. So about 10 minutes later all of my blue nails are nicely pierced into my body. Then the best part : meditation.
It was another very enlightening meditation experience. I could concentrate on my meditation because of the pain. I was much clearer then any other times I have meditated. The pain brought a certain type of clarity that made me very calm, clear, centered. It wasn't some sort of dreadful and agonizing experience, but a peaceful one. This was definitely a better spiritual tool than any drug I have taken in the past, I believe that it changed my life. After about 2-3 hours of deep meditation I decide to sleep.
The next day I decide to keep the needles in my body again so I did so. The day went by normally, if not better. The pain kept me centered throughout the day which helped me indefinitely. I then came home and took them out, for I feared they would become infected.
This experience is one of the single most enlightening experiences of my life. It was extremely spiritual to me, more so than any other past experience. I definitely recommend pain as a sacrament during meditation, its extremely enlightening.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 30 Sept. 2006