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Wow, that burns

For a while now, I have wanted a scar done, one right there on my face. It seemed, and still seems now, to be the most lovely design I could think of. A simple cut, following the outer curve of my left eye, but not so close that extensive keloiding would block my vision. Extending down from the bottom of it, in the center, a straight line across the better part of my cheek, with a slight curve to it. Another line extending from the corner of my eye, and one further cut, from the top center, going up my forehead. So, today, I decided to just try out how it might feel. I figured I would just make a small cut, and that would be all. First, I looked through my drawers, searching for a decent knife. Finding it, I realized that it desperately needed sharpening, and sat in front of my computer, sharpening it to a razor's fine hone. Then, off it was, into my bathroom, to do the best sanitizing I could, and add some kick to the cuts. I soaked a bit of toilet paper with some rubbing alcohol, and then wiped down the blade. For a moment, I felt like I was falling into an old habit, although I'd only cut twice before.
Satisfied with my meager attempts at sterilization, I decided to test the blade. First, a cut on my leg. I assumed that it wouldn't be all that difficult, and got down to work. Several tries later, I simply couldn't get the blade to cut through any tissue. Frustrated, I tried cutting one of my fingers, to get something of a feel for the blade's sharpness. I was starting to think perhaps I'd been encountering dull razors all my life. Well, absolutely nothing happened. I was afraid to put too much pressure on the blade, not wanting to lop off my fingertip (well, not at the moment.), but even when I pressed hard on the blade, it wouldn't even budge an inch. Now, I was really getting annoyed.
With my oncoming surge of annoyance, I was also feeling boredom, and even regret. I wasn't going to have an opportunity to test out my design after all. Almost absent-mindedly, I began lightly tracing the blade over my face in the pattern anyway. Soon, I was making second and third passes over segments where I hadn't felt the pain quite the way I wanted to. It felt just some much better if I twisted it sharply at the end of that one line.
I went to put the knife away, feeling as if I'd only just managed to break the skin. I walked into the bathroom, and noticed, yep, I've got the finest lines cut into my face. Not a drop of blood, and just a few seconds later, you could hardly tell I'd cut them just a short while before. A mixture of disappointment and satisfaction swept over me. I did manage to make a cut, but not the spectacular one I'd hoped for. And then, I found out what happens when you cut with rubbing alcohol on your blade.
Sitting back down in front of my computer, tired from having been up all night, I suddenly woke right up. My entire left portion of my face was on fire! If you can, think of what it feels like putting on after shave, after you've just shaved. This was, possibly, the worst pain I've felt from a blade. Even shortly after the fact, I'm still wincing at the sensation, yet finding it to be terribly interesting. Just that burning of alcohol, and not just in the cut area, but it felt as if it were spreading all across the left side of my face. A day later, it was no longer an invisible, minor wound, but had carved an angry, red path across my skin. It was fairly interesting to look at, but not at all in the shape that it had seemed as the blade went over. Within just a few more days, it had again faded away into nothingness, although by now, I was rather annoyed and bored with the complete failure of the job.
I think it's likely that I'll repeat this in the future, although without the alcohol soaked knife. It's definitely been a quite interesting experience with cutting, although hardly my best experience with it. I will have to think though, about whether I really do want to go through with that scar however, a thought which had previously never entered my mind. Fortunately, I have plenty of time before I'll even be close to ready, so I can do as many attempts with this as needs be, to make sure I don't wind up with something I hate all over my face.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 05 July 2006
in Ritual

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