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Superwoman - my first suspension

Met with Iam:Bena for the first time, when we ended up in the same group at the drivingschool. We came to talk about bodymods and being a modded parent. He gave me his Iam-name to look up at BME later. So the same day I did and discovered that he and his CJT-suspensionteam would hold a suspensionmeet in Malmö only two weeks later. The whole suspension-"thingy" applied to me and I started to read more about it and to look at pictures of people being suspended. I contacted Bena a few days later and told him I wanted to hang.

So at the 14th of april it was time. The day for my suspension has arrived. I have been walking on clouds, have been feeling all high and light about the fact that I have decided to do this. I am feeling convinced that it will be so damn cool. I´m feeling an inner calmness, which probably comes from me being convinced that this will be like nothing else I have previously experienced. I make sure to eat proper breakfast, and suddenly remember that I don't own any shorts to wear at my suspension. I panic a bit and call Eric to complain. He calms me down and tells me we will have time to go buy shorts before it's time to be at the meet. He comes to pick me up around 3 pm and we're off to find shorts. I ask for really short shorts at H&M, but the lady there just frowns at me and tells me they don't, like I'm supposed to know short shorts are sooo last year. I get a bit frustrated and start to feel annoyed and hot. I just want to find a pair so we can go to the meet. I try on some boy´s shorts at Stadium and they almost fit so I buy them.

We arrive at Barnens scen where the meet is held a while past 3 pm and we check out the schedule for today's suspensions. We sit down for a while and check out the two teams working parallel with hooking and giving aftercare. I absorb the atmosphere and the room and I feel too focused inwards to be able to interact with the other people there. Say hi to Bena and chats for a while. Evil_lina comes up and shows me my hooks. Then me and Eric are off to get something to eat. We pick sushi, because it usually feels light in the stomach. We return to the meet around 5 pm, I'm scheduled to hang at 6 pm. Bena tell me it will be open for audience between 5-7 pm. I have agreed to get hooked and to hang before an audience so this information doesn't bother me. I'm convinced that I won't be caring about the people around me when I hang, something that will turn out to be true later on. I´m feeling a bit sleepy and very calm.

Time flies and it's soon my turn. My crew pulls out a table in front of the audience and I lay down. I get washed up and Bena marks where the hooks are going in. It's time for the first pair of hooks. I have said I want 2 to hook me at the same time at least at the beginning, so Bena and Evil_lina goes right at it. I'm trying to focus on my breathing with the help of Eric, I take a deep breath, holds it and when I exhale they pierce. I feel the needle go through my skin, an intense and burning feeling that is over within seconds. I take a tiny brake and then tell them I'm ready for the next pair. It´s over fast, I dont feel anything within seconds but at this moment my body starts to shake from the shock. I can´t control it, which is very frustrating for me as a control freak... Above this Evil_lina accidentally cuts her finger with my needle and has to leave to get some Band-Aids. I now have 4 hooks in my back and my shakings continue. I try some yoga breathing with the help of Eric, but with no success really. To hurry up the hooking, Bena asks if it´s ok for 3 to pierce me at once. Because of me shaking, I agree, just get it over with. Soon I have 7 hooks, then 10 and then the last pair in the back of my thighs. With 12 hooks in my shaking body, I stand up to walk it off. I walk around for about 20 minutes until the shakings stops and I feel totally calm and in harmony. I now drop my focus from the hooks and mobilize all I have on the next step, the elevation.

Bena is finished rigging and asks me if I´m ready, but I ask him for 2 more minutes so that I´m sure I´m totally free from the shakings. Then I approach the table and the rig, and lay down on the table. The rope get attached to the hooks and the rope turns out to be a bit short, so Bena stretches it to make it long enough all the way through to the last hook. This means stretching my skin and I can clearly feel the tension... The hooks in my lower back are not merciful. It's a feeling I´ve never felt before, but not hard to cope with feeling the skin stretching. All the time I'm aware of the hook as I'm having a hard time to relax, mostly because I'm feeling the shakings coming back, and I don't want them to continue like before. I'm struggling with the breathing and in between I succeed to relax. I ask to be elevated. I do this in 3 stages with short breaks, and then I´m up! The table is being pulled away and I´m flying!

At first I go inwards, focusing on my breathing and relaxing, and letting the hooks carry the weight without struggling. I swing back and forth, closed eyes just feeling the wind and the weightlessness. A feeling that I am not my body comes with the total relaxation I enter at this moment. All the voices seem very distant. I ask to get higher up and Bena elevates me to the max. Get swinged again. I feel I want to swing higher and push myself against Eric´s hands. I try the mandatory Superman pose, it takes a while and it's kind of hard, but I succeed! All the time we are laughing and having a ball. Me and Eric has been best friends for over a year, and in the last few months We have fallen in love with each other, but no one has taken the first step towards becoming a couple. When I'm in the air, and we are sharing this wonderful moment, he stops me in my swinging around and we kiss for the first time. We sure picked the right place and time! 

Although I went to the toilet before getting the hooks in, it´s been a while and I'm now feeling an urge to go to the bathroom. This ticks me off extremely, that the fact that I need to go to the bathroom will decide the length of my suspension. I ignore it and we continue playing. Eric gets on the floor beneath me and lies down. I hang above him and swing back and forth, it´s very funny and we laugh and joke. Actually through the whole process of me getting suspended, he seemed more shook up than me and despite this he was a fantastic support and I don't know what I would have done without him – all cred to him! Soon I desperatley need to go to the bathroom and also the body's own anaesthesia is wearing off and I´m starting to feel the hooks. I have been up for 30 minutes and for sure I could have stayed up for another 30, but I ask to get down. I feel like I´m going to fall through the table when gravity kicks in. As if I was wearing led clothes. I get released from the rig and directed to the place where I will get my aftercare. I go there and lay down on my stomach again, the hooks are taken out, the air massaged out and the blood wiped off. Then I get bandages and finally I´m allowed to go to the bathroom... I get dressed and sit with Eric and we watch the next two persons getting suspended. It´s with a calm and tranquil feeling I sit there and just allow the last 2 hours absorb into my consciousness. I'm feeling a feeling of total fulfilness and that I will definitely do this again.

I pay, we give out thanks to the people involved and leave. It´s not that easy to get in the car. We go to get something to eat, and we both agree that we are exhausted so we go home to get some sleep. It's hard to find a way to sleep, and even harder to change position in bed. I feel like I was run over by a small truck. Now, two days after my superwoman suspension I'm still all high and happy and I'm already looking forward to my next suspension. And yes, we are very much in love ;).

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 22 April 2006
in Ritual

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Artist: Iam%3ABena
Studio: Folkets+park
Location: Malmo+-+Sweden

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