True Love Never Dies.
A phrase some seem to think I stole from the very popular movie, The Crow. But just so you know, I didn't steal it at all. As many great ideas are thought of by more than just one person, so was this phrase. And so I begin in telling you, that it may not seem unique to you, but it is indeed quite unique and very personal to me. Oh yeah, and plagiarizing ideas in any form... [like getting someone else's tattoo done on yourself without their permission] is never cool, and I would never do it.
Now why would I begin with a phrase that seemingly has nothing to do with body modification? Because right now it's all over my right arm. My strong views on love, desperate need for constant modifying of my body, and love of the sight of blood led me to etch this phrase across my flesh. So I have to wear a jacket in public, so what? I wouldn't go back and take that razor off my skin for the world and I in no way regret it.
I think cutting is a bit of a controversy even to those who claim to understand it, because it isn't something that is consider beautiful, or something that beautiful people would do. But I hope you all know two important truths of aesthetics: beauty is defined internally - not by the media or by anyone else, and that nobody is perfect and everyone has flaws. It's when you accept your so-called flaws and embrace the way you are, scars and all, that you can truly call yourself beautiful.
And I know some people wonder why I would want to "taint" myself. Really, I'd say, you either get cutting/scarification... or you don't, it's an almost impossible thing to explain. And the same is true really for all forms of body modification. Sometimes even if you spend hours explaining your reasoning or motives (be it spiritual or otherwise), for some action you take or some adornment on your body, there will still be people who think you're off your rocker if you've ever considered "shoving hooks in your back and dangling in the air" (suspension) . Well, I can simply say that I am perfectly sane, I do have my reasons, and that cutting myself neither makes me nor my flesh tainted.
If something means so much to you that you can't get it off your mind, a lot of people might write it in a journal, other might go "so far as" to tattoo it. Me, I feel the need to etch it into my body. My beliefs bleed from my soul through my skin. I have a true love, he is my only love, I will never ever leave him, and I'd die before my love for him would even consider dying. True love never dies, for me, that phrase is more than just a philosophy, it's like a way of life. And now it's forever marked, not as a reminder, but as something I got off my mind by putting it on my arm. It's a truth I wholly believe in, as much as I believe in body modification.
With this in mind, I'll get into the details of my modification.
What I used: a relatively small and extremely thin metal razor blade, like the ones you see that are used to do drugs. One that probably should have been cleaned a little more thoroughly, I might add.
Where I did it: I started it in my best friend's room, writing the word's 'True Love' and not bleeding much. I finished a few days later, at my house, going over 'True Love' and beginning and finishing 'Never Dies'.
Where it is located on my body: True Love was placed on the back of my right forearm, next to a heart with two swords in it that I had previously cut into myself. Never Dies was cut into my wrist and the front of my forearm, on a dangerous location. It was cut on thin skin over veins, which was stupid and you should absolutely avoid if you don't want to kill yourself!
When: December 2005.
Why: It was an emotional thing, a mental idea and strong opinions I held, something I felt compelled to do. I enjoy cutting, I love blood, I like small amounts of pain, and I felt compelled to do it because of the impact of love in my life.
How: I first went over the basic lines of the letter and then slices and put pressure over each of the letters until I was bleeding profusely, in some areas it was rather hard to stop the blood. Again, I must warn, if you must cut, use clean tools, have a towel or proper bandaging available, and avoid going near noticeable veins and your wrist.
Overall, it was a positive experience. I felt extreme euphoria afterwards, and was absolutely excited about my newly forming scars. Although pictures of the freshly formed and bleeding wounds got me into a bit of trouble with my mother, I still felt great about it. Today, over one month later, the scars are still visible, and I still don't regret it. Some may find cutting negative and bad, but I don't think it's an issue in my life, but rather an enhancement of my life.
Remember kids: don't play with sharp objects or hearts. Toying with love leads to broken hearts, toying with razors leads to hospital visits. Either way, someone will probably end up crying.
So mod on all you want, but use common sense and at least research it on BMEzine before you rush to "do it yourself".
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 25 Jan. 2006