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"Why aren't you up in the air yet?"

After going through the amazing experience of doing a knee suspension practically on my own (throwing my hooks and pulling myself up), the time came again for another opportunity to suspend. I knew that this time around, I was going up superwoman. This time around, I didn't have the pre-suspension nerves, I felt completely ready to take on whatever came my way. I arrived at the dojo and proceeded to be my quiet and shy self for a couple of hours while I watched others suspend and waited for Art to arrive. While waiting, everyone got to see iam:dreadedfate do a one hook suicide suspension and go nuts with it. So nuts in fact, that he bent the hook so far that it slid out of his back and he went flying. The room fell deathly silent for a moment while waiting to see how he was. He stood up and just laughed it off, it was amazing. It got me a bit nervous, as I had never seen anything like that happen during a suspension.

Finally, Art arrived and my time came to get my hooks thrown. I went and changed into practically nothing and froze my butt off. When everyone was ready, we went back to throw my hooks. I wasn't too hot on the idea of having to sit through getting pierced two times at once, five times in a row. I knew it would be too draining for me and I wanted to have all the energy I could muster for the suspension itself. So, Jason and Emrys suggested five at once, twice. I liked the sound of that and said go for it. Shortly after that, Jason, Emrys, Jeramiah, Mike, & Thomas were all lined up and ready to throw hooks all at once. I braced myself and took a deep breath in and when I breathed out, five hooks found their way through my skin. It was painful and amazing at the same time and much to my surprise, felt flawless. Perhaps I spoke/thought too soon. On round two, one hook on my upper thigh was tricky and took a little more time to pierce. It threw me off and I cried/laughed out a bit in pain. The process of getting all the hooks in was an experience in itself and I found myself starting to doubt if I'd make it up in the air.

I waited for a few minutes for the guys to bring out the table and set up the rig for me. It was so cold in the dojo that night and I was shivering so much that it started getting to me. I finally laid down on the table and tried to relax while getting rigged up. I tried to find a calming picture in my mind, of something warm, something beautiful. This worked for a moment, then I was informed that I was ready to go. I took a moment to comprehend the amount of pain that was going to be distributed all over my body. I knew it would be much different then going up by my knees or suicide, because the pressure/pain was focused on one part of my body then and I was able to relax everything else with ease. This time around, the only thing I could relax easy was my arms and head.

I gave the OK for tension to be put on the hooks. Slow and steady, Jason began to lift me off the table. I came very close to leaving the table when an intense burning from my upper thighs was breaking my focus and I couldn't bare it. Reluctantly, I asked to come back down and have the excess tension from my legs moved to my back. I sat there getting quite angry with myself and began to doubt whether or not I could even do this. It was still very cold and I was having a really hard time relaxing and my body was tensing up bigtime. It was looking pretty grim for a moment there, untill Emrys came over and gave me a pep-talk I wont soon forget. "Why aren't you up in the air yet? Don't pretend you can't do this, because you know you can, it's all in your head." And that's all it took. Jason began to pull me up and I just relaxed every part of my body and before I knew it, I was flying.

The first ten minutes were a bit rough, as I kept shivering and my legs would convulse uncontrollably due to the cold. I had a hard time relaxing, and yet again, it wasn't looking good. That's when Adam & Mike came over and massaged my legs and warmed me up. It helped so much, and took a little while, but I finally let go completely and relaxed everything. Having Art by my side holding my hand made it all the more amazing. I began to have some fun with it and swung around. I'd grab Art's hand to pull and swing myself around. After a couple knocks to his head, we got the hang of it. I was having so much fun swinging around and listening to the new Mars Volta album, which was annoying as hell for some to listen to I'm sure. Yet it was perfect for the suspension, just the right amount of timing for crazy swinging around and slow droning zone out music. About 2/3 of the way into my suspension, one of the support lines gave way and broke. It made a loud noise and I began to drop. My heart stopped as I prepared to hit the floor face first. It stopped short as I was caught by the reserve line. Everyone got a bit uneasy due to what happened earlier. After that, I was too scared to go nuts with it, even though I was reassured that it was perfectly safe. I used the rest of my time to just fly and relax. It was so comfortable and relaxing to be in that position, I just wanted to turn off the lights, burn a few candles and fall asleep like this. However it was getting late and I was drained of energy.

After being up for about an hour, I gave the okay to bring me down. I laid there and relaxed while I got the full body bleed out massage. After I got all cleaned up, I went and changed into some warm clothes. I was exhausted and could barely move. I felt bad leaving so abruptly after without saying all my goodbyes to everyone, but I was fading fast and had to leave. I barely remember leaving and driving back to Art's place. Where he pampered me and tucked me into bed, which was a first after a suspension for me. I'm always having to hide how sore I am from everyone around me after I suspend, but having someone know, participate and care for you afterwards, well, that just made it all the more special for me. So, finally, I don't have to keep this part of my life a secret from someone I love, and that means the world to me.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 15 April 2005
in Ritual

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Artist: Emrys%2C+Jason%2C+Jeramiah%2C+Mike%2C+Thomas+%26+Adam
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Location: Warren%2C+MI

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