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Playtime.

I have been addicted to bme for some time now, sitting at my computer for hours just looking at the pictures and reading people personal accounts and in particular have always been fascinated by play/ritual piercing. In the past year or so, I have developed a "passion for pain" and have been experimenting with different things such as cutting, some forms of branding, scarring and piercings, just out of my own curiosity. I have read that play piercing is meant to be a pretty spiritual experience so I made it my aim to try it out. I looked at pictures of lip sewing and suspension, which both look like amazing experiences, but at this point in time, I needed something a little less "adventurous". After all, I had to be at uni in 2 hours time.

At first, I tried to use any old pin, but did not think that I could handle the pain from something so blunt. I "borrowed" some syringe needles from my dad's surgery, and gathered more appropriate supplies from there. I used 23-gauge needles. They are fairly thin, but they were all that I could find at the time, and I don't think I would have felt comfortable with anything bigger for my first attempt. These were just perfect.

I sat down this morning before uni, reading some more personal accounts, psyching myself up before I would undergo the session. I read various stories and look at a vast range of pictures, until I felt comfortable enough with what I was about to do. I decided that 10 needles would be enough for my first go, because I tend to panic when subjected to too much pain in one go... which in my case, generally need to more harm then intended. I sat there for a good 30 seconds with the needle to my skin, until I just stopped thinking, and literally shoved it through. The first one really hurt, and to tell you the truth, I was not expecting the pain to be so intense. I read that the first few normally hurt quite a bit, but the more that you do it, the better the sensation, so I decided to stick with it, as it was this "better sensation" that I was after in the first place.

The second one did not hurt as much as the first, because I expected it to hurt quite a bit, although it was very uncomfortable. After the fourth one went it, my arm went kind of numb. I could still very much feel the pain, but I seemed to block it out in a sense.. And to be totally honest, I really liked the sensation of the needle penetrating my skin. For some reason, as soon as one end went in, id stop. It was subconscious, but I don't really know what it was... I just sat there for a second or two, wondered why I stoped, and continued to push the needle through. They were not that deep, as I was afraid of things like nerve damage etc, as I have absolutely no idea about anatomy and placement of veins and nerves.

I stopped at 7 or 8 needles for some strange reason, and sort of just sat there at looked at my arm for a good 20 minutes. I felt pretty proud of myself, considering that this is something I have been planning for a while, and in all honesty, something that I did not think that I would go ahead with. I do not know what made me decide to do it this morning, but I just felt ready, pretty much like I could handle anything. Although the needles were no-where near symmetrical, I still sat there in aura of what I had just done. It looked beautiful.

Taking the needles out hurt quite a bit, and I was not quite expecting so much blood either, but I guess it was all part of the experience. I sat there for around 5 minutes (it seemed a lot longer at the time) just watching the red trickle down my arm. I'm no stranger to the sight of blood on my arm, so it did not really bother me, in fact, it was something that I have grown to enjoy quite a bit.

I really hope that I did not make play piercing sound too negative, because I have every intention of doing it again in the not too distant future. It was something that I enjoyed on a level I can't possibly describe. In fact, the only thing that I regret about this morning was the fact that I did not give myself enough time. I plan on net time giving myself at least a few hours.. just so I can go over everything carefully, and enjoy it.

If you're curious, I would seriously look into. Although I was very hesitant at first, I can safely say that its something that I'm very glad I went through with. It was a fantastic experience.

Just a warning, I do not know how safe doing this by yourself is, but at the time I did it, I really did not give it a second thought. If you are considering doing this, then I would make sure your fully aware of the risks.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 25 March 2005
in Ritual

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Artist: Myself
Studio: My+Bedroom
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