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Lust for Life

My first experiences and ideas regarding the idea of a body suspension were second hand.  I witnessed the euphoria on a dear friend's face the first time he suspended. I supported him when he became involved with ROP.  I witnessed a single point chest at a bbq in Mass and was amazed.  I attended "super suspension Sundays" when ROP – RI was getting its start.  All of my second hand experiences caused me to fall in love with the idea of body suspension.  The culture, the ritual, the rite. I found it to be amazing, fascinating, challenging, and simply beautiful.   
Two years ago, while attending a "super suspension Sunday" I decided I wanted to try a pull.  I wanted to see what it felt like to have hooks "thrown" into my back.  My first pull went off with out a hitch, and I decided another was in order. Both of my pull experiences were unique and amazing.  Bonding rituals with old and new friends.   
During the two years between when I did both of my pulls and doing this first suspension, I had a lot of emotional turmoil in my life, mainly pertaining to a failing long term relationship.  I was experiencing a lot of internal struggle between who I was and who I am.  Part of my life that was wrapped into this failing relationship was trapped with the ideas and notions of the girl I was.  The other part was falling in love with the idea of modification and the community as well as suspension.  I had always wanted to suspend back then, but with the amount of emotional negativity I had in my life, I decided to wait until I was much more clear headed.  While this may sound like a negative notion, there was a positive to it and that was that I was able to put a lot of thought into suspension and my own experience.  It also allowed me to become a little more exposed to the culture.  I attended bbqs and suscons, and lived vicariously through my friends suspensions.  I became immediately wrapped up in the emotion of it all.  Crying with complete strangers as I watched them lift their feet off the ground for the first time.  It completely moved me.  
After a little over two years, I decided this was the right time for me to experience suspension first hand.  My head was clear of negative emotion. I am in a place now where I am surrounded by friends who mean more to me than my own family... in fact they are my family.  I have a roommate/best friend who is super supportive of me and has taught me and guided me in my quest to be complete through modification.   
February 6th 2005, a day which will live in infamy in my life. I as well as my friend Mike decided we were both going to suspend for the first time.  Mike and I have just recently become friends but our reasons for suspending were very similar.  A new found freedom.  He was also celebrating his birthday.    
2:30 in the afternoon, I hopped in Craig's truck and headed to the building where my suspension would take place.  Craig and Frank were going to suspend another girl before me so I decided to relax and listen to some music while I waited.  I decided to sit out side the building for a little while.  It was a gorgeous winter day and I wanted some fresh air.   Before I knew it, it was my turn to take my hooks.  Now, I have taken hooks before so this part wasn't new to me, but I was still nervous as hell.  It had however been two years but I still hadn't forgotten the painfully sweet sting.   Craig coached my breathing and then before I knew it, the first set of hooks were in.  I waited a minute, took some more deep breaths and then took my second set.   I have to admit, I was a little relieved when my hooks were thrown.  I honestly think I was more nervous about that than the actual suspension.  Kind of funny looking back.  Craig and Frank proceeded to get me all ready to go.  I was tied to the rig. It was now or never.  I grabbed Craig's hands and he walked me up.  Jon ho slowly pulled on my rope adding a little more pressure onto my hooks as it became harder and harder for my feet to touch the ground.  I lifted my feet up almost immediately and before I knew it, I was flying high.  It was amazing.  Swinging around completely free.  It was me, my friends and some hooks.  Sepultura's chaos AD played in the back ground as the world spun around below me.  I   didn't want to ever come down.  I wanted to hang as long as my body would let me.  Towards the end of my suspension, Craig asked me if I wanted to try and hold him up.  With out even thinking twice, I decided to try it.  He grabbed onto me and I felt the pressure on my hooks increase.  I didn't let the added pressure get to me.  I closed my eyes, took some deep breaths.  When I opened my eyes, Craig was looking up at me.  I could tell he was proud and that meant a lot to me.  
When my feet touched the ground again, I was completely elated.  The feeling of the pressure being taken off the hooks didn't even bother me.  I really didn't even feel it.  I was so focused on what I had just experienced.  It was amazing.  Everything in my life right now has the volume turned way down in comparison to this experience. I feel somehow changed.  I have a new found appreciation for my strength mentally and physically as well as a new found lust for life.  This suspension was a reality check for me.  Everything in my life somehow feels different.  I know that whenever I'm feeling down about things again, I will grab my hooks ( which I've saved), and reflect upon this experience.  I'm amazed.  As I said earlier, I had always been in love with the idea of suspension and now I'm simply in love with the experience and what it gives to me and to everyone who experiences it.   
Thank you Rites of Passage, especially Craig (iam darkncrazy) and Frank (iam frank_prov).  You are two amazing people, who have had profound impact on my life.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 11 Feb. 2005
in Ritual

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Artist: ROP
Studio: +
Location: RI

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