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I'm hooked....litterally

Saturday December 6th 2003 started out just like any other day of my 18 year old life. I woke up, groggily made my way downstairs to the dinning hall for brunch, ate, returned to my room for a nap, showered and went to work. What came after work however, is an entirely different story, something I did not expect at all.

Let's start with some background shall we? I am an eighteen year old girl from California living in New York for school. I have my tragus, navel and both nipples pierced, along with multiple lobes and a double helix. I also have one tattoo. When I first got into the modification "scene" there was only so much I could handle. For example, suspensions, corset piercings (along with many of the more extreme piercings) and tongue splits freaked me out. Not to say I was against them, but they were things I couldn't see my self having at any point in my life. Now, a few years later, I love all of the above, and can envision many of them in my life. This is the story of my first suspension if you haven't figured it out already. A 4pt suicide to be exact.

Perhaps some context of why I wanted to do such a thing to my body may help those of you out there who are starting to think I am insane. All of my life I have been dealing with disappointment, in some form and some degree. Lately however, my life just seems to be on a rollercoaster downhill. I had been thinking about doing a suspension for sometime, but when I say "thinking" I mean thinking "well it would be cool, but it will never happen." Oh how wrong was I? Over Thanksgiving break, I encountered a lot of family issues (mostly with my dad who I have never gotten along with, however, this isn't the appropriate place to tell this story). In short, I ended up spending my Thanksgiving alone in my dorm room eating a cup o noodles. I started to doubt my strength as a person. I felt the need to do something drastic, yet something that wouldn't be harmful to my health. Suspension immediately popped into my head, it would prove just how strong I was, both physically and mentally. Little did I know, I would actually have a chance to do one soon after.

Earlier this week, the boy (sixthhook) am seeing told me that he was attending a fetish party in Ithaca New York on Friday night, December 5th. He informed me that the Rights of Passage group (a suspension team from NYC) would be in town performing. I immediately decided I HAD to go see this. I started working on a ride (which isn't an easy thing to do when you go to college in the middle of nowhere and have no car). After much stress, I found a ride who was willing to drop me off at the show. Come Friday night, I have corresponded with the ROP crew to let them know I was going to be there, so we could meet (I love to meet fellow IAMers). My 2 friends are I are all ready and waiting outside. 15 minutes pass, no ride. 30 minutes pass, still no ride. An hour has passed and our ride still has not shown up. Her car is not in the parking lot, and she is not in her room. We concluded that she had left without us. I was disappointed a nd in tears (this is such a huge understatement I can't even express). I called Dan (dantm6) my piercer and told him what happened. He told me not to worry, that I would have a chance the following night to meet the ROP crew. Apparently they were doing a private suspension show in Geneva Ny (about an hour from my campus). I expressed my concern about finding a ride, but agreed to attempt to do it. I sent a few Instant messages out on IAM to the ROP crew, and expressed my interest in possibly doing a suspension (although at this point, I don't know how serious I actually was).

I somehow managed to find a ride out to Geneva (although it cost my savings account to convince the girl to do it), and I called the place it was to be held at to find out what time this was all taking place. I was informed that it was to start at 7:00 pm. I left work two hours early, and headed to the place I was to meet my ride. After some last minute things (she was in the process of dying her hair red) we set out to Geneva, only an hour late.

We show up at the shop (only after getting lost for about a half hour) and announce that we are there for the suspension. The counter lady (Alicia) informs us that due to the fact that they couldn't start till the shop closed, it had been postponed till 10:00 pm. Well FUCK! I had told my ride that we could leave around 10:00. I proceeded to ask if any of the ROP crew was in the shop, and I was greeted by a sad looking man in a black hoodie with his head covered. I immediately recognized him as xpurex and gave him a hug. I then noticed John (j_scarab), and introduced myself to him as well. At this point, the rest of the ROP crew comes in, immediately noticing me. Cere gave me a kiss on the check (he immediately recognized me) and I introduced my self to George )mrholepuncher) and riseorrust. My ride proceeded to tell me that she was going to go find something to do, and that if she didn't hear from me, she would be back at 10:00. Ok fair enough, I promised her we could leave then, and after all she was doing me a huge favor, I just agreed even though it meant I would be missing the suspensions. The ROP crew, John and I, along with a few others hung around the shop talking. After a while, Brian (xpurex) started setting up to do some work on another IAMer. Of course, this didn't happen until after I was asked if I wanted any work done. I stated talking to Cere about suspending, all the while growing more serious about the idea. I expressed my concerns (finals coming up, donating blood, etc), and I decided I wanted to do it. Cere and the rest of the ROP crew were incredibly nice, telling me I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to. They explained that I should take my time and not do anything I didn't want t o.

Come 9:30, it was time to do the deed. Cere, mrholepuncher and riseorrust begin to set up. They wiped down the table, and walked me through what was going to happen. They made it very clear that I could back out at any time, and that if I wanted, I could take as much time as I needed. I was told to lie down while my back was wiped down. I then stood up, had my back marked, and laid down again. I was to have 4 hooks placed in my upper back. There would be two piercers working on me, so the process would be done twice. I decided to be pierced on the first exhale. Breath in, hold it, breath out, pierce! Follow through with the hook. I squeezed Cere's hand, it hurt, I won't lie. However, the pain was nothing compared to what I expected. At this point, I had 2 hooks in my back. Time to repeat the process. Breath in, hold it, breath out, p ierce! Follow through with the hook.

Wow, I was all pierced. Not to bad at all. I stood up, asked to take a second before being tied to the rig, and just stood there to collect myself. I am sure I was shaking violently, although I don't remember for sure. Ok, time to be tied up. I stand there, worrying about when my ride would show up. As I am being tied to the rig, I am asked if everything feels even and such. I was then told to bend my knees a little to put some tension on the hooks. This of course hurts. I grab hold of Cere's hand, and take a step forward. Forward, back, forward, back. By this point, I am on my toes and in a ton of pain. I asked to be let down so I could collect myself. Down I go. I am given a cup of orange juice, and its time to try again. Step forward, step back, forward, back, forward, back, and WOW, I am off the ground! I let go of Cere's hand, and immediately ask to hold it again. The pain was extreme, not so much the hooks, but for some reason there was extreme tension on my neck. It hurt really badly. I asked to be let down. After a short breather, up we go again. Step forward, back, forward, back, forward, off the ground. Once again, extreme pain, this time not at all from the hooks which I can't even feel, but from my neck. I tell them this, and asked to be let off. I don't know how long I was up for total, but I can tell you it wasn't very long at all. Cere explained that there was no need for me to be sorry or anything like that (I think I looked embarrassed). Off comes the rig, and I stated that I feel like I am going to puke. I go over to the table, and lay down. After a few deep breaths, I feel better. Out come the hooks, and blood as well. By this time, I am bleeding (I am watching in a mirror). The ROP crew start the body massage to push out all the air pockets. At this point, my ride walks into the shop. She hadn't been told I was going to suspend, and she looked like she had seen a ghost. I gave her a little wave, and returned my concentrati on to my back. As the ROP crew was pushing the air out of my back, I n otice I am SPRAYING blood. Somehow, a drop or two of blood ended up near my head!

As I got cleaned up, the ROP crew went over what I could and could not do (no baths). I thanked everyone, and got a hook as a souvenir. Due to the fact that it was past 10:00, and my ride was not too happy, we left. Sadly this meant I didn't get to see the other suspensions of the night. I thanked everyone, hugged them goodbye, and headed out.

Back on campus, I am sitting in the cafeteria eating food wearing a tank top. My friend comes in to hear about my night and some girl over hears us. She comes up and goes "suspension eh? Can I see?" I showed her my bloody bandages, and we had a nice conversation about suspension. I headed back to my room where my roommate had 10 or so people over. She jokingly said "so, did you go up?" I just turned around and giggled. I spent the next 30 minutes answering questions and such.

In conclusion, tonight was the best night of my life. I thoroughly regret not lasting longer, but the pressure on my neck was just too much. Hopefully I will have a chance to do a suspension again sometime in the not so distant future, and hopefully next time I will last longer. Once again, many thanks to the Rights of Passage crew (cere, xpurex, mrholepuncher, and riseorrust). If anyone has any questions or comments, feel free to contact me:)


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 15 Dec. 2003
in Ritual

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Artist: iam%3A+cere%2C+mrholepuncher%2C+riseorrust+%28rights+of+passage+crew
Studio: extreme+graphix
Location: Geneva%2C+Ny

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