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Defining moments...... my first flesh pull

This is the story of my first flesh pulling. It's basically broken down into parts, because there were alot of certain 'factors' leading up to the actual day, the event itself, and afterwards.


Ever since I first discovered flesh pulling and suspensions after looking around on BME and IAM, I knew it was something I wanted to learn all I could about it. I wanted to know everything - the procedure, the risks, the after effects and the mental/emotional aspect of things too.

I later found out about suspension groups like IWasCured, Rites of Passage, Etre Suspendu and TSD. I got in contact with Phil Barbosa of IWC, and Azl from Etre Suspendu. Both were great about answering any questions or concerns I had, but I had kept in much closer contact with Azl since the initial message I had sent. I wanted to know different kinds of pulls, different ways of doing them, costs and such. He was beyond awesome about it all.

I was soon after diagnosed with Type 2 (Insulin Dependant) diabetes. I really thought it would destroy me. I knew nothing about diabetes and mods. Hell I knew nothing about diabetes. I knew nothing about how it would affect my body. Then I started discussing it with my piercer, Juliette, and that was all fine. After realizing that it's all in how I take care of myself, things would or at least SHOULD be fine.

Next came talking about it with Azl, who had by this time become basically my mentor with the issue. We discussed factors like shock and how, even though there are concerns with anyone that has hooks thrown in them, I should treat it more carefully. After doing a bit, okay -ALOT, of thinking, I realized that it would be safer for me to attempt a flesh pull than suspension. My reasoning behind this being that a pull would be more "controlled" and more of a gradual process as compared to suspending where (I at least thought) it would be all or nothing.

Azl seemed to agree with me to a point, but was more about what I'd feel more comfortable doing. And for me, doing a pull as my first time with hooks in me seemed like the best idea. I started reading about shock risks and everything I was concerned with: different ways my body could react to it all, different foods and vitamins to help maintain stamina, blood sugar and my immune system, not to mention the frame of mind i'd need to be in to achieve the "enlightenment" I was seeking from all of this.

I'm constantly looking for ways to challenge myself; to go above and beyond any limits I subconciously set against myself. Things and places my mind automatically says I wont be able to do or go. This was one of those challenges and I didn't want to hurt myself conquering this. So I was well on my way to being ready for this.


Over the past 6 months or so, I've had a couple of opportunities to do this, but couldn't afford the travel and what not. So just recently, Ottawa held Dark Carnival4... a 2 day event and celebration of everything non-mainstream - particularly the Industrial music scene. When i read that there would be play piercing and flesh pulling, I immediately inquired about it and was told that the piercer overseeing it was looking for models for play piercing and a fleshpull partner/volunteer was needed. I absolutely jumped at the chance!

When the Monday finally rolled around, I show up at the venue only to find out that this "mystery pulling partner" was none other than my good friend Aida - her and I have talked about doing a pull together for so long. So that made everything so much more perfect! Adrenaline pumping, I spent the next few hours building up to the pull munching on Tostito chips, sipping OJ, and doing alot of deep breathing and just trying to center myself. Anyone who knows me knows this is a really important thing for me to do before getting any kind of modification done.

The mental preparation that Azl and I had talked about wasn't at all exaggerated. Before it was time to do this, it was explained to me that we wouldn't be using hooks as there wasn't enough time to order them. Instead, 16ga play piercing needles would be used with fishing line that would withhold 75-100 pounds of pressure, threaded and knotted to the needles. This made me a little skeptical and somewhat nervous, but after being reassured by another qualified piercer/suspension artist, I was back to relaxed. An hour to go. MOre time spent meditating, deep breathing and receiving wellwishes from friends.


Finally, the time comes; we head to the sectionned off area and sit. Rebecca (the piercer) first pierces and threads up Aida. Then me. We were going to be pulling from out chests, and having those needles pushed through me was definitely more painful than anticipated. But seeing Aida sitting across from me, ready to go, kept me pumped up and so excited.

There was an audience of about 4 or 5 dozen people. Most of which had never seen anything like this and probably had never planned on it either. So when we stood up (and even when we were getting pierced), there were jaws dropped, gasps escaping throats, and confusion as to WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING?!?!?

Aida and I just smiled, hugged, and said "lets do this". Rebecca tied up the line and we were ready.

We pulled for about 12 minutes. Back and forth, walking around in circles for everyone to see, and my favorite moment was when we kneeled down and pulled like that. That got the best reaction.

Intense. Beautiful. Breath taking. Finished.

I had just completed my first flesh pull. We were then handed gloves and took out our needles. I was told throughout the remainder of the evening that it looked phenomenal, beautiful, and even orgasmic! But i do suppose that with the intensity of it rushing through my body, it probably did seem pretty arousing!

Alot of people said they were impressed because they had no pain tolerance, others impressed because just the sight of us getting pierced made them woozy! In any case, the whole night was perfect.


Reflection: The experience was all I had imagined it would be. It wasn't what I had completely expected since we hadn't used hooks like I had hoped, but given the circumstances, it was everything I wanted to experience and more. At least now, I have a much better idea of what to expect when I do get hooks thrown in me.

Having the chance to do this was absolutely amazing. it was as enlightning as I had anticipated, it was as empowering as I had hoped, and I really feel as though I conquered that challenge I had set myself out to attack.

Given the chance to do this again, I absolutely would. No hesitation in the least.

Nothing could have fully prepared me for everything my body, mind and soul would be sensing before, during and after it all, but I felt pretty damned ready for it all. I'm incredibly glad that I had taken the time to do the research I did and to have all the information I had managed to attain. The biggest thing I learned though was to have something with sugar content available to me at all times because once that adrenaline wears off, you're on the floor!

I am now looking forward to another chance to pull with hooks from various parts of my body. Who knows...someday I might do a suspension but that wont be for a while. I'd like to definitely thank Azl though, for being a mentor of sorts with all of this ~ providing advice, suggestions and tons and tons of support right from the beginning.

This was, without a doubt, the most defining point of my 21 years so far - to be surrounded by some of my best friends in this city and even people I didnt know but that were so accepting and supportive of this event, made the night so I couldn't possibly have asked for more.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 12 July 2003
in Ritual

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Artist: Rebecca
Studio: +
Location: Ottawa%2C+ON

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