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Soaring Down My Path! With Hooks In My Back!

Before you read this, I suggest you read about My Back-Pull which took place on May.19th, 2002. Once you have read it, you will be relatively brought up to speed on the experience I am about to tell you.

It was only minutes after I had left the May.19th, 2002 Suscon that I began to have a yearning to do a body suspension. As each day came and went I always had the thought that I wanted to do a suspension. But what suspension did I want to do? Did I want to do a "coma suspension"? a "superman suspension"? I contacted IWasCured's Philip Barbosa immediately and began to ask him about the different suspension styles, not to mention the suspension vision I had.

The vision I had was of me suspended by various hooks in my forearm; almost as a how a slave might be restrained. Unfortunately according to Phil this method would be very discomforting. He suggested that the best method for beginners was to do a "coma suspension" or a "superman suspension". After much contemplation I decided that the best method would be for me to do a "Suicide Suspension". A "Suicide Suspension" is when you have the hooks placed evenly on the upper back region so that when you are hanging it almost looks like you have committed suicide, by hanging yourself. That is my logical breakdown as to why this specific style of suspension is called "Suicide Suspension".

Then came the day, June 30th, 2002. It was only just over a month since I last had the burning sensation of the stainless steel hooks placed into my back. Last time I came to many conclusions about my life, would I have the same experience? Surely not, Flesh Pulls are completely different feeling then having your body suspended. Also another factor to consider was the fact that this Suscon was being put on at the same time as a week-end long festival entitled "Synthpop Goes The World"(Which I happened to win a free ticket to) was being put on.

Before Sunday's event occurred I had a very exhausting Saturday night. The concert venue (Synthpop Goes The World) was severely hot due to the fact that Toronto was in the middle of a heat wave, PLUS, the venue had hundred's if not THOUSANDS of screaming and dancing fans. After the show was over I managed to drag my tired carcass onto a bus only to find out it went only as far as Church Street, relatively about 4 or 5 city blocks away from my house. I began to walk up Church Street and then remembering that this weekend was the weekend of the "Gay Pride Parade", there were people EVERYWHERE. After a long walk, being heckled by a prostitute not to mention various other annoying experiences, I made it home and into bed.

I woke up Sunday morning in somewhat of a rush mainly because I slept more than I wanted to. I leapt into the shower and made sure I got the horrible stench that was left embedded into my body after being at such a sweltering concert the night before. While I dried off I made myself a rather decent sized breakfast comprising of an omelet with cheese and other assortments to fill my stomach. Once finished I made sure I had everything I needed and then made the trek to the Suscon location, this time I walked rather then catching a cab. When I got to the location I noticed a few people I knew from the previous Suscon back in May. I gave a brief "hello" then proceeded to the studio location where we'd be performing our various suspensions, once up there I took one of the consent form and began to fill it out. Once the form was finished I looked around and said some more brief to some people who I noticed in the studio, then I headed back outside to mingle with others.

We all sat around outside for a while because not all of the crew had shown up, so we were only about half ready. Eventually car-by-car the rest of the people appeared and we were all told that we were going to begin now. As I walked in I was met with the visual of my friend Adam hanging by one of the riggings in a Suicide Suspension format. I had NO clue he was going to be there so I walked over to see how he was doing. Next thing I know with Adam's consent we began to play "Catch" with him, swinging him from one person to another. Like three kids playing with a tire swing, myself and a friend began to push Adam to one another. After a few minutes it was time for Adam to come down so the group helped him down and the tended to his body.

I wandered around looking at various other suspensions being performed as well as conversing with people. Eventually we were at a point were we wanted to get as many people up as possibly, mainly because it was currently going as one suspension at a time. The group had setup so that there could be MULTIPLE suspensions at once, so only one person hanging at a time wasn't efficient. I was approached and asked if I had suspended yet, to which I replied "No". They suggested I get it done now because time was growing thin, so I took off my shirt and laid down onto the table. At the same time I believe someone was going to be doing a superman or a coma suspension, so I was asked to get up an sit in a chair instead.

I sat down in the chair and we began to proceed with the "Feeling Out" portion of the procedure. This is basically when the person putting the hooks into you grabs portions of your flesh to locate the specific region each hook was going to be placed. The whole procedure to find decent area's on my back to place the hooks was confusing because on second certain places would hurt or feel uncomfortable, while a second later they didn't. Eventually we agreed on a four certain locations for the hooks to be placed into my flesh. At this point another crewmember came over to lend a hand in putting the hooks into my back. I knew something was unusual because everyone who noticed it was saying "You sure about this? It looks pretty low", I chalk this up to my uncanny selective hearing. Even after all that we proceeded and began the breathing countdown.

Deep Breath In...Deep Breath Out...Deep Breath In...Deep Breath...FUCK!!!

The first hooks went in rather slowly and did not have enough force behind them as I remembered from last time. Last time I had hooks in my back they went in fast and had next to no pain, this time I felt like I was going to cry and pass out. They asked me if I was ok and I just began to do a breathing method and told them I was ok. They grabbed the second pair of hooks and once again the breathing countdown began.

Deep Breath In...Deep Breath Out...Deep Breath In...Deep Breath...JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!!!

The second set of hooks went in just as slow and felt awkward every millimeter going through my flesh. At this point I almost felt nauseous and the room began to grow dim and dark. Once again I began my breathing techniques that I have learned over the many times I've been pierced, tattooed, etc. The dim feeling went away so I stood up and told everyone I was fine and began to walk around, all the time moving my back around to let my body get adjusted to having the foreign metallic objects in my back. I started to make my way over towards a chair in the far corner and once again the room began to get dim so I walked over to the table that had juice and other things. I started to talk to Adam and I told him how I was feeling and that I needed to get some food in me. Adam reached in his bag and offered me a sandwich. I no longer remember what the sandwich was, But what I do remember was that it tasted like I was eating glue. I saw my friend Ed arrive back into the studio space so I asked him if he could go down stairs to the Coffee Shop and pick me up a bottle of juice and something to eat. Being the nice guy that he is, he agreed and took some of my money and rushed downstairs to the shop and returned with a bottle of juice AND a couple cookies. I thanked him profusely and began to drink and eat away, this apparently worked because I stopped feeling dizzy and I no longer felt like passing out.

I finished the juice and the cookie and stood around for a few minutes before I was approached and asked if I'm ready to go up or not. I informed them that I could use a few extra minutes but when they saw my back and noticed that the blood was becoming crusty they said I would have to go up now or never. Being the individual I am I did NOT want to back out of this experience. This was an experience that was going to help move and mould me into a new Warren of higher spirituality and understanding. I walked over to the rigging and we began to tie the rope up to the hooks in my back, it felt unusually uncomfortable as they began to even out the rope to distribute the weight.

Once they were finished with attaching the rigging to the hooks a man (PhilipBarbosa who has been there for me since I had my first question about suspensions. Asked me for my hands and informed me that we are going to be doing what might seem like a dance. Phil informed me to walk towards him and then he would walk towards me, with each movement forward and back I could feel the tugging of the ropes. At this point I asked the people monitoring the stereo system to put on the song I wanted to have played (Resident Evil Soundtrack - 07 - Fear Factory - Invisible Wounds (The Suture Mix)), unfortunately for some reason it didn't want to play. Eventually after walking forward and backwards a few times my body began to become painfully uncomfortable.

Now just to take things off topic to try and give you a clue for what was going to happen after my back began to become uncomfortable. Have you EVER seen the "Lethal Weapon" movies with Mel Gibson? Remember when Mel Gibson and Danny Glover would a "Three Count" run down before they did something like fall from a building, pull Danny Glover off the exploding toilet, etc? If you've never seen any of these movies please due so and look closely at Mel Gibson's face, he produced this look where he rolls his eyes and his expression is basically like "What The Hell Let's Just Get This Done Already".

Now that I have given you a description of the facial expression. As my back became uncomfortable, I rolled my eyes and gave that expression Mel Gibson gave in the "Lethal Weapon" movies and lifted my feet up off the ground. I WAS SUSPENDING! They began to lift me higher up off of the ground. WAIT! Something was wrong! My body was not straight! I looked hunched over! I could NOT unlock my arms! They were locked into a very uncomfortable position and resulted in my ENTIRE body tensing up. The entire crew saw this and kept trying to tell me to loosen up, a few of them even began to try and push me to get me to swing and loosen up. Unfortunately for me I just was NOT going to loosen up, my arms were locked and my body was tense. Hours, Minutes, Seconds, they all meant NOTHING to me at that moment in time...For me all time had physically stopped as I stood slowly swinging back an forth.

Suddenly things began to grow dim and I once again felt like I was going to pass out. I told the crew member holding onto my ropes that I felt like I was going to pass out, to which he asked me if I wanted down. After a few seconds of contemplation and the room growing even dimmer I told them to let me down and cut me out of the rigging. They complied and instantly things got better and clearer, I still felt rather exhausted but at least the room wasn't growing dark. I wandered over to the table and grabbed another juice and seconds after that I was told to sit down and have the hooks removed and have the puncture wounds attended to. Apparently I was quite the bleeder because they used quite a few paper towels on my back before I was allowed to get up and leave.

I stood around and talked with a few more people before I felt the need to leave. Ed was pretty much ready to leave as well, so we decided to walk together. We walked all the way down Queen St and we found ourselves at the Eaton's Center, this was a long walk on such a hot day from where the Suscon was. We walked inside the Eaton's Center and I'm pretty sure a few people stared at us as we walked in all hyped up on adrenaline and Ed with a white t-shirt on with blood stains on the back. We proceeded to the men's section where I went to the bathroom then we picked out a new clean shirt for Ed to wear. We then left the Eaton's Center and found ourselves walking right in the middle of the big "Gay Pride" Parade. Two guys walking down a busy street with wounds in our backs, not the smoothest of idea's, people kept bumping into me and it sent s hooting pains throughout my body.

Eventually we got to where Ed was staying so we said goodbye and parted ways. I walked further up the parade and eventually making it to my home. I climbed the staircase and walked into my room and turned on the TV...Suddenly I was OVERWHELMED with emotions and I instantly collapsed onto one of my pillows I have on the floor and started to sob. The whole experience was overpowering and filled my body full of intense emotions I have NEVER felt before, all I could do was sit and cry. I finally managed to cease my sobbing after a few good minutes and then went into the bathroom and took a shower to clean my bloody body. For some reason while in the shower I was once again hit with this intense emotional state and I sat down in the shower for another couple minutes sobbing.

Eventually finishing my shower and finally taking control of my emotions I dried myself of and put on a new clean outfit and got to the transit system and trekked myself down to the final day of "Synthpop Goes The World". I got to the concert venue and instantly searched for my friend's who are also into Body Modification, and KNEW I was doing a suspension that day. All I wanted was to hug and hold onto someone and possibly sob some more, unfortunately for me there seemed to have nobody willing to do so. The entire concert was very surreal for me and I sat spaced out and in a rather calm state, conversing with people every so often. One girl (who has ironically become my girlfriend now) who I met at the concert the day before approached me and gave me a hug and I jokingly screamed "OW! DONT TOUCH MY BAAAACK!!!! AAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!" so for the entire evening she was scared to even touch me.

Now was this experience a positive experience for myself? Or was it a negative one? Some of you reading this might feel that it was a negative experience due to all the pain I had to go through. However I do not see this experience as a negative one, I see it as indeed a positive one. Granted I was indeed unhappy with the fact that the suspension didn't go as I expected but at least I was able to get up off the ground. I am looking at this suspension as my FIRST suspension, I'm looking at is as my test of my body. With the knowledge I've gained from this first attempt I WILL progress on and utilize it when I once again attempt to do a Suicide Suspension! I WILL do this again! And I WILL not tense up allowing myself to feel what it's like to truly feel alive! To fly through the sky, connecting My Mind...My Body...And My Soul as one.

If you have ANY questions involving this experience, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 14 Nov. 2002
in Ritual

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Artist: IWasCured
Studio: June+30th+Suscon
Location: Toronto

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