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Spur of the moment suspension

 I have been contemplating writing an experience story for BME but couldn't figure out what I wanted to write about. Every time I woould start writing one I would go into some incoherent rant about something completely trivial. So I finally settled on writing the story about my last suspension.

I went to the suspension convention in Dallas last November. When we first started talking about doing it, I was involved in the preliminary planning. We had weekly meetings where we didn't really get much done other than nitpick over minor details. As I hadn't really gotten back involved with TSD to do more little suspensions and I felt I wasn't much use at the meetings, I quit attending them. I had bigger plans then, just as I do now. As the day drew near I hadn't really heard anything about what was going on. Brion called me the day before and we went out for a few beers. He was going to be filming the convention and he asked me if I wanted to catch a ride with him out there. I figured, why not, it'd be fun to go hang out and watch. Besides, the people I'd met the previous night seemed pretty cool and I do enjoy spending time with the crew.

The morning arrived too soon like all mornings do. I was a little hungover, which is absolutely nothing new. Brion showed up at my house and after scouring the house for extension cords, which are still in his damn trunk, we headed over to the convention.

When we got there we all got name tags. Woohoo, I love name tags. We all settled into chairs in the main room and Allen gave a short opening address and thanked the sponsors, after which we got down to the business at hand. Which for me meant retiring to the front porch area and lighting up a cigarette. I think I spent most of the day out there talking to Martini of iwascured fame. Watching suspensions gets pretty boring, but the conversations were never lacking that day. I kept trying to get a race together. Get all the suspensions groups that were there to simultaniously see how fast they could throw a couple hooks in someone and get them off the ground. Unfortunately it never happened. (I've been trying to get one of those races together for years.) Any takers?

Anyhow, after milling around talking to people all day, I started thinking I wanted to hang again. I hadn't in several years at that point. Not since six months before I retired from TSD in October of '99. At the end of the day I was asked if I wanted to get on a spinning beam opposite Robert Michael. I was game. When the moment of truth arrived about 20 minutes later I wasn't so sure about it. I was getting tired seeing as how I'd been milling around for 10 hours. On top of that I hadn't eaten since before I got there in the morning. Unlike a number of people I've known, I hate going up hungry. I don't fast ever. I much prefer to do everything on a full stomach. After I tried to pawn off the opportunity on Brion and having him say no, I decided I might as well.

I found Allen and had him put four hooks in the top of my back. Unfortunately, when he was feeling for a good spot I was sitting down leaning over the back of a chair and couldn't tell how low on my back I was telling him to put the hooks. I ended up having them put in a couple inches lower than I would have liked, but neither of us noticed until they were in. Putting them in was about like I remembered which is to say fast and painless. (I got my chest tattooed recently, and I'll tell you right now that I would rather have hooks put in my back any day over getting tattoo work. Tattoos hurt, suspensions don't.) After getting the rigs all set up and adding about 50 pounds to my end of the beam, we were ready to go up. (Yeah, Robert's pretty skinny, but I'm downright little.) As soon as we were all rigged up and we had some good loud music going, we immediately got off the ground. We started bouncing a little bit to get used to the hooks. It didn't take long other than trying to get used to the pressure across my ribs caused by having the hooks low. We had the beam spinning within a minute or so. I kept trying to kick off the wall but I was just a little too short to reach it. Eventually Allen got us spinning really fast and I was able to take a couple steps on the wall each time I passed it. The whole thing about spinning beam suspensions as well as most other kinetic multi person suspensions is that unless you find a good rythm they pretty much suck. Once you find that perfect rythm though, they are a blast. After maybe 10 or 15 minutes I was so thirsty I had to stop moving and have someone get me some water. We spun around for a couple more minutes and then decided we were just too damn exhausted to keep it up. After coming down and pulling the hooks out, someone put bandages on the holes. I can't remember who it was right off hand. It was strange, though, since I had never put bandages over suspension piercings before. (This was the last of maybe a dozen suspensions that I have done.)

The next day I was feeling pretty rough. It wasn't anything I hadn't felt before, but that feeling like you were at the wrong end of a baseball bat the previous day never feels good. I couldn't go to the second day of the suspension convention as I had to work, but they brought a good part of the crew to my bar that night, which was certainly fun even if I was sore and at work.

All in all, it was a pretty fun experience. The convention was damn cool because of all the people that showed up and whether or not I hung, it was worth it just for that.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 06 May 2002
in Ritual

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Artist: Allen+Falkner
Studio: TX+suspension+convention+space
Location: Dallas%2C+TX

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