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Cured: The Spirit Within

I have always been fascinated with what some may claim are outlandish or freaky acts of self mutilation. For me they are merely a way of life. Some may say that pulling and suspending fall in this category, but not me. For me They are life changing experiences. Although I have yet to do a suspension, I have finally experienced a flesh pull. Some say that it is a demented act of rebellion. Others claim that it is self-mutilation. There are others such as myself who call it a ritual or right of passage. I have wanted to experience a flesh-pull from the first time I ever heard the term. Many have said that it is a spiritual experience, it is. Although some may not uderstand the concept or the purpose, I have a new understanding of it myself. A flesh-pull allows you to test yourself to the limits of pain, endurance, and mental ability. I had witnessed both pulls and suspensions in the past, but never participated. Having participated in a flesh-pull, I know now what I personally am capable of to this point. I hope for the opportunity to suspend eventually, merely to further test my body and minds abilities to feed from the pleasure and pain. I will admit, I was nervous to be going through the entire procedure, but it was well worth it. While sitting in a room with my partner, Maxxx, and the members of IWasCured who were about to get us set up for our event, I had different thoughts and emotions circulating in my mind. I had a sense of uneasiness and instablity about having flesh-hooks inserted in my back. At one point I thought that what if I am incapable of following through with my intent? I even thought why am I doing this? I was doing it for myself. It gave me a challenge to face. The question was, would I face the challenge, or would I back out. I truly felt nervous when Orbax asked me about inserting the taper to begin the procedure. He informed me that some preferred to do it on an intake of breath. While others preferred insertion during exhalation. Being no stranger to piercing, I told him the best way for me. It seemed like an odd concept at the time, but it worked. If you don't know when it's coming you can't tense up. Therefor I told him to merely insert the taper when he felt the time was right. In less than a minute, the taper was through and the first hook was in. The same was done regarding the second hook. I was prepared to be "cured". While my partner and I were hooked up back to back, I was unsure what I was going to experience. I will say this about the flesh-pull, I experienced a sense of pleasure and also that of pain. I am a firm believer in pain being a stae of mind. As long as you don't focus on it, it isn't going to hurt as much. Once you think about it, you will feel it. During my participation I allowed my mind to roam free. This is why say that it ruly is a spiritual experience. While my mind wandered, I envisioned myself outside of my body. Watching all the while I was participating. I saw my pulling partner and I hooked up giving it all we had, testing each other and not allowing each other to give in or admit that the experience was too strenuous for our bodies and minds. I saw yet more though than just what the flesh-pull entailed. I saw the purpose to why it was important to myself. It was important to me because I've always tested the limits of my mind and body. If I know I can't complete a task, or am unsure, its a good bet I'm not going to attempt it. I pushed myself to that limit once again, and succeeded. What a feeling of accomplishment it is. I now know what it means to be "cured". Once you have been "cured", you understand what it means to be alive. You know what it means to push the envelope farther than it has ever been pushed. You get to know your strengths, weaknesses, and limitations. A person can come to an understanding of themselves that has never before been achieved. I know that I am "cured". I would like to say thank you to the entire IWasCured team and Shannon Larrat for the opportunity to experience a wonderful event. As well as an extra special thank you to those who make it all possible, those who contribute time, money, and expertise to make events such as this happen. Thank you to Philip Barbosa who without I would not have been able to experince that which I did. Thank you to Orbax, who without I might not have had the courage to fulfill my dream. This is one experience I'm not soon to forget. The experience was like a birthday present in and of itself. I couldn't have asked for anything better, and I don't think I could have gotten anything better. My birthday wish came true. IWasCured and BME gave me all that I had hoped for, and I hope that One day I will be able to repay them for all that they have done for me as a person.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 04 Sept. 2001
in Ritual

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Artist: IWasCured
Studio: BME+Labor+Day+BBQ+2001
Location: Toronto

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