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IWasCured assisted suicide

I'm a very experimental person. I'm willing to try just about anything,

especially when it comes to body modification. I'm one of the people that get a huge rush after being pierced, but still I wanted more. I used to think certain things were just plain crazy. What the hell could those people be thinking? Why would you want to hang yourself from hooks? So what if it's spiritual? I eventually changed that thought once I realized just how much pleasure could come from a little pain. Now I'm left thinking, what the hell was wrong with me? I heard about the July 1st BME BBQ, and I simply had to go. I also found out that there would be all kinds of suspensions and pulls. This was my chance, what I had been waiting for. So I spent the next few months begging Mr. Philip Barbosa to let me take some hooks for a suicide suspension. Things were coming down to the wire, I was going to be leaving in 2 days for Toronto, and I still hadn't heard if I would be allowed to suspend or not. Then I received a message from Phil telling me the rules I had to follow to do my private suspension. I was ecstatic; I couldn't sit still. He then asked me if I had any questions, and proceeded to tell me what would happen and what I would be feeling. So I spent the next night at Jay's house, and we were leaving for the BBQ the next morning. I was looking forward to hanging. I couldn't stop thinking about it. The next morning, we went to pick up Vadim, Evan, and Crys. We then headed to Toronto. I probably annoyed them by counting down the hours and announcing how much time was left until I had to be at Shannon's house. Jay and I showed up at Shannon's at 8:45 the next morning after a light breakfast for me. We had a little run-in with the Lady-Of-The-Lane. Then when the IWasCured crew got there, Phil told us basically what was going to happen, and told us all the stuff we needed to know, and also told us that it was ok to back out. I wasn't about to back out. He was asking who wanted to go first, and no one volunteered. Eventually, I said I'd go. They gave me a really hard massage, and then gave me an idea of what it would feel like. They grabbed two handfuls of my back and pulled me up a little, OUCH! Then by back was cleaned off and marks for six 9-gauge hooks were made. While I was signing my life away, it started raining. So I was sitting outside waiting to get pierced, while I was cold and scared. I was sitting there shaking. They were about to pierce me, and I could feel the tip of the 10-gauge needle on my back. I told them to give me a minute. I was too uncomfortable to be pierced. I ended up letting monstar go while I warmed up. He took the hooks like they were nothing, same with going up. His face had no expression on it through the painful parts. I watched him up there, swinging and having a good time. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my entire life. I was DEFINITELY doing it. |triBal| went next with his superman suspension. When they did his piercings they decided to pierce inside Shannon's house for the rest of the day. So I went inside to warm up. He had another great suspension, although he wasn't up for a real long time. I was pretty warm by that point; I was wearing someone's sweater-jacket. Shannon told me to put it on backwards so I could still be wearing it while they pierced me. He also suggested I go for four hooks instead of six, because I'm a very small person. So they cleaned my back again and marked me for four 9-gauge hooks. When I was ready, I had Orbax call in Jay (taking pictures for me) and Martini (support). They were ready to pierce me. Dustin asked me if I was ready, I lightly said, "Yeah", because I didn't want to stray from my breathing. He made me say yes loud though. I took another breath, and...... DAMN! That was a little unpleasant. We were going for the second one. Ready, deep breaths, FUCK!!!! That was worse. I believe after that I said something to the effect of, "Thank God that one's over." To which I heard a reply of, "We have to redo that one." Oh my God! What the fuck!?!?! Turned out, they were still marks from when I was going to go with six hooks, and he went with one of those marks. He redid it, and it hurt about the same as the first time. I told them to give me a minute to regain my composure, had a sip of water, time to go again. Then we were going for the third hook. Same procedure, this time, I wasn't only breathing really hard, I was also saying random obscenities. That one REALLY hurt. I guess because the third one hurt so much, I don't remember the fourth. All the hooks were in. I asked them to give me a few minutes to recover. Shannon asked me if there was anything I wanted to listen to. I asked if he had anything "metal-ish". He told me that the only metal they had was old Metallica. I said that would be ok. I walked out to get hooked up to the rig (I'm told that the sun came out just before I walked out). I exited his house to hear old Metallica, what a grand entrance, haha. They connected me, and Martini was coaching me through it. They added some tension. OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! I've never felt anything that painful in my life. They kept pulling me up little by little. Martini kept telling me I was up, but my toes were still touching the ground. They got me to the point where I was barely touching at all. At which point I made a decision. I was thinking, "I'm doing this, I will lift myself. I don't want them to do it. This is all me!" I then straightened my ankles out to pull my toes off the ground. I was up!!! I did it! I've never felt such a feeling of power in my entire life. I felt like I could do ANYTHING. The pain was still intense, and they asked me if I wanted to go up. I knew that once I was off the ground, the pain was going to be the same regardless of height. So I quickly said yes. I could feel the pain fading away, until it was completely gone. I remember someone saying, "You're hangin to One!" I couldn't stop smiling. I could feel the warm sun beating on my back. Then they asked if I wanted to swing. Of course I wanna swing! So they pushed me. Eventually it started to burn on the outer hooks. I think this was mainly because the piercings were horizontal, so they pulled differently than usual. Eventually Phil said I was looking pale, so they were gonna bring me down half way. They stopped swinging me and dropped me down a little. They saw my color come back almost instantly, and Martini reached out two fingers for me to squeeze. He said that I was fine, I said I was fine, so they let me go back up. They started explaining to me different ways to move my legs to manipulate my body. I spent most of the time kicking my legs to swing myself. I almost kicked Joey in the head (sorry). After about 15 minutes they told me they wanted me to come down. They all know that I would have stayed up if I could have. During my suspension everyone was having a good time, but no one was having as good of a time as I was. They brought me down to the ground. For a few seconds I felt weightless. They disconnected me from the rig (Carrie was asking me questions for the BMERADIO video) and brought me back into the house. Orbax told me to slow down because I was walking a lot faster than everyone else. I sat down for them to pull the hooks out and bleed me out. Getting the hooks pulled out was a little unpleasant, as they were breaking scabs. I was given the first hook Martini pulled out. It was wrapped in a paper towel. Then Rachel put it in a latex glove, and wrote, "hook" on the glove. Haha, she's a very cute girl, and I plan on holding onto the glove as long as it stays intact. They started to squeeze the blood and "crispies" (air bubbles) out. That wasn't a pleasant feeling. But it was over soon. Now that I talked about the physical aspect of my suspension, I feel I have to attempt to explain the emotional aspect, as that was the most important part of it. Keep in mind as I try to explain this, I don't know how to put this into words. Don't think for a minute that any words can explain the beauty of what I experienced mentally during my suspension. At first it was a feeling of power, absolute control, freedom, and accomplishment. That is only the beginning of it, I went on to experience hundreds of intense emotions, many of which I had never experienced before, and I don't think I will ever again unless I'm suspending. I wish I could explain those emotions, but there is absolutely nothing to compare them to. The most amazing thing about it was WHERE I was emotionally. I was in two different places at the same time! I was there swinging and enjoying myself, interacting with everyone around me. Everything was loud and intense, but sounds were very clear, and I could hear everything. I could hear the music, people talking, my thoughts, and noises around me, and all were very clear. At the same time, I was in a completely different place. This place was very quiet and serene. I was in complete solitude, although I'm not so sure I existed. I was at one with my surroundings and myself. I saw no one else. It was at this point that I was born. I discovered who I am, what I'm all about. It was the most beautiful feeling in the world. This second place was very much a spiritual one. Somehow I experienced two completely different things at the same time, which completely baffles me, but at the same time it makes sense to me. It seems the suspension has altered me as a person. From what I'm told by many people, I seem to be a happier, friendlier person. Something else I've noticed is I've made up with several people I had broken friendships off with. These people were all people that, most likely, I would never see again, and wouldn't make a difference if we were cool or not, but for some reason I, without thinking about it, apologized to them for whatever I had done. IWasCured is family to me now, they mean a lot to me. They gave me the most beautiful 15 minutes of my life, something I could never thank them enough for. I also got their logo tattooed on my arm, to mark this very important experience and to thank my new family. I plan on doing many more suspensions. If you are wanting to do this, DON'T HESITATE!!!! You won't regret it! I have yet to meet a person who did a suspension and never wanted to do it again. However, if it's not something you really want, you'd be focused on the pain, and it would be a horrible experience, as the pain is excruciating. But for those who want it, the pain is gone quickly, and it's all worth it to experience something so beautiful.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 30 July 2001
in Ritual

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Artist: IWasCured
Studio: Shannon+Larratt%27s+house
Location: Toronto%2C+Ontario

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