true connections, true emotions, true friends
people come and people go. if you think about it you meet many people trough your life, and only a few of them actually get to know you, and even fewer still make a real connection. those connections mean a lot to me, and usually when i get them it's sudden and shocking.. i met corey online maybe three months ago. online we didn't really hit it off, until one night he asked me to call him. he is an apprentice, and he wanted my ears for his training. i'm never one to turn down free piercings, and i'll admit he had kinda impressed me, so i figured i might as well go for it. plus, i'm always up for meeting new and cool people. also while on the phone corey said he'd lost his partner for his july 1st bbq pulling, and either he offered or i did.. i really can't remember, but we made the plans either way. i don't think i was nervous about any of it, as far as my memory goes anyway. i anticipated everything, that includes both getting my ears done by corey, and getting to the BBQ, and everything. i don't think i'm one to get to nervous usually, but i may be wrong there. when we got to the BBQ, after making my first rounds, finding corey, and everything, we got in the 'line-up' to get hooked. this is where the nervousness came into play. and i'm sure it's a feeling that i'm not used to, cause it was so new to me. as i stood there, i thought things like "what if i pass out," and " what if i don't do as good as corey wants?" both being very legitimate questions as far as i'm concerned. this was going to be my next step into body-mod. i've done a lot of the visual mods, and i was hoping to start a more mental/spiritual journey, and i felt if i failed here, this would be very devastating. after one of the guys had a bad reaction, that just multiplied my fears. it wasn't a fear of embarrassment, more of a fear of failing. i knew this would mean a lot to both me and corey. waiting there, at the back door, was horrible. it seemed like we were there for like hours. both corey and i were nervous, so neither of us could really talk to each other. when they brought us in the house, i just knew that this was it, it was now or never. i took a deep breath, and accepted my fate by entering that doorway. martini (and someone i didn't see, cause they were behind me) pierced me. they seemed kinda surprised when corey and i asked to not be told when the needles were ready, but that's the way i like it. that way my mind can accept the pain as a regular thing, and process it, instead of feeling it. it's hard to explain, but that's the way i like it. to be honest, i think having my nipples pierced was worse than getting the hooks in. it just didn't seem to bother me much, maybe out of anticipation, maybe out of fear, i don't know. the hooks were in. after a little pain, a little anticipation, corey and i were ready for our moment in the spotlight. i'm not completely sure, but i think we almost ran outside. nothing could have stopped us, we found the best and fastest way to get to the ground, right in front of the tower, to prove to ourselves, each other, and everyone around that we could do it. there is a picture taken of me from the point we hit the 'stage' with this huge smile on my face. i didn't know what to expect. i really didn't know how we were going to do it, all i knew was that in two seconds i was going to be in great pain. well, i thought i knew, but now when i think back, i don't remember feeling pain. when we walked apart, the first thing i felt was the tug. maybe there was pain there, but i had so much going through my mind that i didn't know what else to do but concentrate. we leaned forward while stepping back, further and further, and then out feel touched. we were supporting each other. it felt like i was flying. i remember this feeling of weightlessness. not knowing if i was there or not, just knowing that it felt like my back was going to rip off, but not in a bad way. i felt all this energy flowing around me, back and forth, all these voices of people watching me ad corey prove ourselves. everyone happy, everyone amazed that we were calm. honestly, it didn't feel like i was in a backyard, it felt like i was in just a happy place. at one point i remember this tingling feeling throughout my body, especially in my back. just like everything was just flowing around me. this was kinda like the second feeling that hit me, and with the weightlessness added on, i was just in a euphoric position. i think this is the point that i think i hit sensory overload. it's the only think i can think of to describe what i felt. another picture that a friend took was at the moment that i was told i was supporting all of corey's weight. in the picture i have a huge grin, like this is the moment in my life that i had been waiting for. i have now accomplished my goal. i'm pretty sure that's what was going through my head at that point. honestly, the rest of the pull was a bit of a blur. it seemed like a minute to me, but i was told that we went for ten or twenty minutes. all of this just amazes me. there isn't much more about the event that i can say. i felt this wave of absolute pleasure, happiness, and acceptance at that moment. i've been having real problems with how 'society' saw me, and at that point, i found the people i feel comfortable with. the people that accept me, and i do them as well, no matter what. now i sit here in my room. it's been roughly 30 or so hours since. i still have this very happy and complacent feeling. my body still tingles with sensation. the whole day just seemed to go by so fast, but at the same time i noticed more that i normally would. i think i now have found my place in the world. i have now found myself a piercer that i fully trust, because now i've shared something very overwhelming with him. i've also found that place, that nirvana, that mental and spiritual gate. i haven't passed through the gate yet, but i now know where it is. corey, we did it. to true connections!!!
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 03 July 2001