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Hijra for nearly ten years

for nearly ten years Hi my name is Khira from Madras, I'm now 22 years old. I'm a eunuch since the age of 13 years and I earn my living by prostitution. Allthough I'd never been a transsexual, I now live and feel as a very nice looking woman. My story began, when I was running away from my father ( my mother died five years before ) ,'cause he used to mistreat me for many years. I decided to start a new life in a big City and it should become a completely new live for me. I took the train to Madras without anything with me. Arrived to Madras, I had to lok for a job to earn my living, but that's been harder than I believed before. Driven by hunger, I sometimes sold my body to men, and by this way I met some hijra-prostitutes ( I didn't anything ‚bout hijras at that time ). They'd been very friendly, and I was glad, ‚cause they offered me a place for sleeping. After three weeks, living with the hijras, they started a big party, with a lot to drink. After hours and consuming a lot of alcohol, I found out , that this was not only a simply party, but also my castration-celebration, but at that time it's been to late for me to escape. I can't remember the whole celebration, ‚'cause I'd been too drunk and too shocked. But I still know, that in the early morning ( maybe three or four o'clock ), two of them took me by the arms and draged me to a room in the back of their house. There they put my clothes off, and sat me on a chair. They spread my legs and startet do wash the whole area with warm water. While one of them , the guru, sharped a big knife, another tied a piece of string round my penis. Then one hijra stood behind me . He fixed me to the chair and took my arms, so that I couldn't press them between my legs. The guru placed himself between my wide-spreadden legs, took my penis and cut everything off. Thats the moment, when I lost concsiousness. I can't remember , if was felling the pain, or if I was screaming. Nothing. It's all gone. When I wake up two days later, I realized, what they'd done to me. I took a look to the wound between my legs, where my penis used to be, but there was nothing. I was to accept that I couldn't be a man anymore. I also realized, that I the only possible way to live as normal as possible would be to live as a woman. So I started taking female hormons and my body develloped a female shape and by the way , my feelings also became female. The first weeks, it's been very hard for me, because I had to learn a girl-like behaviour, allthough I raised as a boy for thirteen years. Before I ran away, I was laughing about girls with my friends, we persecuted them and I'm a girl myself. After 40 days I was allowed to leave the house. It was very strange, ‚cause I came to it as a boy, and now I leave it by wearing a dress where you can see the beginnings of little breasts. After nearly six weeks, I saw all these people, and of course all these girls and women. I tried to imagine how they feel between their legs, if they got the same feelings like me, or if they could imagine having a penis between, so as I did some weeks before. I tried to walk as girl-like as possible and recognized all people looking at me. I don't know if they saw me as a girl or a eunuch, but I hoped for the first one. Two weeks later I startet my life as a prostitute. Allthough it's been nothing real new for me, I'll never forget my first experience in having sex as a women. I can't remember exactly, how he looked like, but I still know, the first touch of his warm hands between my legs, and I know I'd been excited , if there had been something to excite. Now, nine years later, I can't remember how it was, to be a boy with a penis, to stand while pissing etc. etc. . Im very proud of my body above all to my firm breast and also off my little pupic-hair. I've also got a nice boy-friend since two weeks ( my fifth one ) . He's so fantastic, has a good job and he allways makes presents like sexy underwear or hot-pants to me. The only sad thing is, that I can't have really women- like sex. I allways have to do it the anal way. I hope, that my new boyfriend will earn enough money, so that he can pay me an operation to get a kind of a vagina, , I hope it's possible.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 27 Feb. 2000
in Ritual

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