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tension experience

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3 1/2 years ago i received my first non-ear piercing, my first step off a new life style. At the time it was for the simple fact that i thought that it was "kinda neat." Little did I know at the time that it was lead me into a world that I did not know to exist.

I have mostly used my different body modifications as ways to mark different transitions in life (got my frenum after my divorce, got my brand as a way to celebrate one year from her, got my conches cut at 2 ga {note experience on bme}when i decided that i was going to transfer from my present college to another). Well about 8 months ago I felt that I had made a huge jump in understanding my own life and needed a major way to express it, arising from what i can only describe as a "gut feeling" I knew that a tension was it.

I had previously spoke with Bear of Forbidden Fruit in Austin on the mental ramifications of performing a suspension, i.e. what is it like, when will I know the time is right, what do I do to make it right. Bear could not really tell me much, besides, "you will just know one day." He was right.

It was late one December day that I had been driving down a residential road when I decided that on the next Feb. 1 (my 22 birthday) I was going to put a hook in my chest, tie a rope to it and pull like hell. I told a few of my friends about it, some were somewhat supportive, some, well to put it nicely, not quite so understanding, but regardless of their feelings I knew this was something that I needed to do.

The day came with much anticipation. For a reason that I still have not been able to explain I decided to do this as the end of my birthday party, in my front yard, in front of 20 people, in the middle of a fairly crowded residential area. Whether this was the best way I do not know, just wanted it to be that way.

The hook was constructed of a piece of 10 ga round stock that had been used as a chastity ring previously connected to my frenum and my lorum, but I just bent it to work right. I went down to my piercist and told them what I was doing and he gave me the needle as a b-day present (thanx bariah). Wanting to keep some primitive aspect to it, we just made our marks not to deep but not to shallow and my friend joe just penched up the skin, and my roommate Gus (he is a Hopi that has seen this done on his reservation on numerous occasions) started to push the needle through using no forceps. Well after what seemed to be an eternity of pushing, the needle was finally through and i was ready to start.

The rest is pretty well self explanatory as in relation to the physical description. I hooked everything up my self, stretched out the rope and far as i could. I then wound the rope around my hand once pulling with just my hands. When i was satisfied with the fact that i had taken all the elasticity out of the rope i let go falling back with all my weight, and pulled, and pulled, and pulled. At this point is where things got what i have referred to as alittle blue and in one way or another, i figured out that i was my father if i would have been able to go to college and have all the chances that i had.

The next moment i remember, i was laying in the mud with my friend joe asking if i was all right, and if i wanted him to cut the rope. Just wanting him to leave me the fuck alone i told him yes (opps). When i fell the skin did not rip. It just kinda leaned over to the side letting the rope guide my unconscious body to the ground, but when i landed the tension was still there, so when he cut the rope it felt like a hammer hit me in the chest when the skin snapped back from being stretched to what has been estimated to be about 6 to 8 inches, doesn't that sound like fun.

This was definitely one of the most meaningful points of my life. It was something that was hard to come to terms with and even harder to understand (still do not know if i fully understand). But whatever did happen that late Feb. night was something that was un-fucking-forgetable.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 15 June 1999
in Ritual

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