's double [self-] pocketing. I am a 26 years old professional french woman living in Montreal. For the past 10 years of my life, body piercing and [self-]cutting had been the only ways by which my body had been voluntary modified. I believe that everyone has their limits when it comes to body modification, and that I pushed mine slightly further 7 months ago by performing my first [self-] anti-piercing procedure. Only a four dots pattern can testify that there once were two 12 gauge titanium bars held down in pockets on my left forearm. I discovered pocketing back in 1998, when the section was limited to An Introduction to Pocketing and Shannon's pictures. I badly wanted that done but managed to make myself wait until there would be more information on it, since it was said to be experimental at that time and since my piercer had preferred to not involve his studio into experimental procedures. Months went by but the pocketing section was still limited [it was very rare at the moment and not many people had done it] and I knew I would not fight for very long this growing urge to have the modification done. I started shaping the jewelry in a 12 gauge/ 1.5 inches long metal rod. It was slightly curved to fit the curve of my wrist, and its ends [approx 3/16] were at an angle and flattened so they'd sit correctly inside the pockets. The prototype was ready, and I gave the technical drawing of it to my cousin [she's a jeweler] to have it made twice, in dark titanium.

I then practiced the incision shape, depth, angle as well as jewelry insertion procedure on a grapefruit [yep, I felt pretty silly but It gave me a pretty good idea on what the operation was going to be like]. My sister [she's a nurse] provided me with iodine antiseptic sticks, transparent polyurethane wound dressing [OpSite] and gauze. 2000's eve was there and the urge to get the pocketing done was killing me. Although I could always manage to make myself wait when that happened, now I felt like I could'nt wait any more. It was just the right time. I was alone, sober [yep, that happens]. I was ready. I sterilized in a pressure pot a range of brand new X-actos, a couple of new razor blades and one of the two bars. I carefully washed both my hands and arm with antiseptic soap. I marked down the skin where the entrance of the pocked would be. The curved ends of the bars would have to be covered by the pocket. I realized I was getting nervous already. I broke one of the small iodine sticks and the cotton at the tip of it turned crimson red. Resting my arm on a counter, I applied the iodine just like my sister had taught me, starting in the center of the area and following a spiral pattern.
Finding the first dot through the yellowish coat of iodine, I stretched the skin with a finger and made the first incision with the end of a razor blade.
For a second, nothing but a slight cut, then the blood found its way out.
Pain. Relief. Blood. [Happy New Year] I wiped the blood. The cut opened skin looked like raw meat. [I realized I was meat] With the x-acto I carved deeper under the skin to make enough room for 3/16 long of the 12 gauge jewelry. Once in a while I'd try to slide the bar in the pocket to see if it was deep enough, then pull it out and proceed with carving a little more. It must have taken over 30 minutes until I was satisfied [perfectly satisfied]. I temporarily taped the bar to my arm with one side in the pocket and proceeded to do the other cut. The angle i had to position my right hand in was making this second cut more difficult to perform but somehow it went faster, as I new how deep I had to cut before trying to insert the other end of the bar in. I have no idea on how long it took but after a while I was done. The final blood wiping made me sorry I had not filmed the operation. When everything was clean, I applied the OpSite over the wound. It was transparent. Good. Because I was so proud of the result that I wanted the world to see it ["the world" excluding my work place environement, as I was at the time network admin in a too serious and conservative company]. I kept the OpSite membrane for a couple of days but since I could not clean the wound my sister recommended that I take it off and go with gauze instead. Each day I'd soak my arm in salty sterile water for about 10minutes, then clean the outside of the pockets with Baxedin and wrap gauze around my wrist to protect the wound from bacteria and dust. Two weeks later I could take the jewelry out to soak and re-insert the bar when done. I was fascinated by these two holes and the way I had to stretch the skin to put the jewelry in or out. It was far neater than any piercing I ever had. About a month later and I was ready for the second bar. I repeated the process just about one inch further up on my arm. This time it felt like it was not as deep as the first one. A week later and it was just not healing well. I knew it was too shallow and nothing could prevent its migration. The area around the new pockets was redish, and touching the bar even slightly was unpleasantly painful. I watched my body reject the bar for awhile, then took it out. I had to witness two remainings of the pockets ruin the beauty of my pride. Heartbroken, I took the first bar out as well - the show was over. 7 months later I have four scars marking the top of my wrist. They are so straight, so perfectly aligned, and so beautiful that they are my pride now. I am starting to fight another urge to repeat the experience...but that is another story...