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The Bloody One in the Red Rose Garden

About two or three months ago I went to get a surface piercing. The place I originally tried go to was closed, so I ended up somewhere else. The piercer I got that day had some scarification pictures in his book and that got me thinking. And thinking. I waited a few weeks to make sure I was'nt going crazy(again)or anything. I used to cut myself but have not in atleast eight years. I have alot of scars from that that I have to deal with all the time.

Anyway its been a fast track since then with this being the fourth one so far. I have had a few peircings too. Every thing has healed well. Irritation is a fascinating new concept for me. I do ALOT of that. I still put lemon juice on all of them daily. It makes things darker right away. The scars on my lower leg have even keloided some.

On thursday when I got there around noon Josh had some drawings of a different design I had been wanting but I told him I had some thing else to do first. I said Don't worry it'll be easy. He groaned and said lets hear how easy. He liked the idea of it and the design but he started freaking over the placement I wanted. I wanted an eight inch line (twig) with three laurel leaves on it on my inner right forearm from wrist to elbow. First off he asked if I was sure I wanted something so visible. The others are on my legs and chest. I pointed to my left forearm. I said "Everytime I meet someone and don't have my arms covered they think worse. This can only make it more normal" I am not totally sure of that but whatever. As part of my not cutting myself any more I am prone to draw on myself. I had drawnthis one on in red marker and worn it for days. I kept liking it more and more. I have been very into mythological studies since my teens and the laurel leaves are heavy. More than even most people who might know about them think. In pre-hellenic greece followers of a deity called The Bloody One chewed laurel leaves which contain cyanide of potassium to induce frenzy. To what purpose I am sure you can guess. Later these became associated with Dionysis as maenads. Eventually the cult of Apollo won out and claimed the laurel tree. It was strictly taboo for any one but Apollos Pytheness' to chew Laurel. Now it's used to symbolise victory. Poet Laureate Nobel Laureate etc.

Any way thats the what of it but the where was important too for me. Since getting these very intentional scars the uncontrolled ones on my non dominate fore arm have been bugging me.It started just after my chest cut was done and I was talking to one of the tattoo artists and when he saw the old scars he said" Oh you're a cutter" And I thought Oh jeez. Even here. Even and especially here. I started looking into cosmetic reductions even. Oh my god! Did you know some people are having dermabrasion and skin grafts from their ass to make paralell lines on thier forarms look like burn scars. They call this destigmatization. The scar gets bigger and uglier but less judgement from the masses. I thought thats pretty fucked up right there man.

Over the years I can't tell you how many people have asked if I was trying to kill myself. The worst keloids are almost to my elbow so I would have to have had very bad aim.And they are almost all horizontal. Havining aswered this so many times in so many ways{creative and mundane} the idea of a vertical wrist cut as part of an intentional and obvious design was just funny and ironic to me.

Josh was not happy though. He tried to get me to change the placement. But I would'nt. The other reason I like that spot is the Red Rose Garden Game. You hold your arm out palm up to the other person and theystart softly running thier fingers up your arm to till the soil thenit gets progressivly harder with making the rows and ends with vicious little pinches leaving red circles and lines.

As a kid I loved this.Josh threatened to charge me $400 then relented.

He told the other people there to leave him alone and not interupt and set up in the piercing station. He said people should stay away cause I wanted things that might spray. I knew this would not happen. I know my wrists well. So I just smiled. Happy he was going to do it mostly my way.

I held my arm just like in the game. The long line busted wide open just how I like. The leaf shapes came out pointed and perfect. He had some trouble cutting through this one old scar and the line got a bit wide on the other side but not enough to be a problem.Most of my right arm was unmarked below the elbow. I watched alot this time. I called him a cheater for the way he teases the skin wide but not deep. My old cuts were onehit wonders. They either popped open or did'nt. I never went back in.

At the beginning of this process I did'nt think much about posistioning. Now I always consider this when I think of something I want done.The first two I was high and he was lower. Then I was lower and he was above. This one was level. I love the gesture of holding your hand out that way. I work around the ballet and that is a common picture on brochures the ballerina with hand outstretched and beckoning. Offering...

But this was getting more slasher film by the moment. It was a bloody one for sure.When he got down by the wrist he said okay now how far do you really want it? I said I get to pick now? SO all the way down. He did but thinner than the rest. Twigs are like that so its okay but I would have wanted it opened more really.Safety first though.And in truth it's enough. Eight inches long.

He cleaned up and took pictures. The pictures are so bloody I don't think you can really make out what it is though. Then he started trying to stop it. It didnt want to. He said he wanted to put some paper towel under the plastic wrap to help. I had a bad paper towel experience I guess never mentioned to him. I went from not flinching when he split my arm to babbling and pleading with him not to let the paper towels get me again.He looked at me funny but said okay just a bit at the bottom to stop leaks.

At home alone with it I saw that the real bleeder was not in the wrist it was in the last leaf. The blood would run out of that one travel down the mainline then branch off into the other leaves before dripping into the sink. It was bleeding till way after midnight.

Now three days later I am happy with it but don't want other people to see it till it's healed up so I have an ACE bandage over the plastic wrap. After all these years it fells good to be back in my bandages. I used to wear ACE's when ever I had something open on my arms. I don't know if I can take 10days this time. My skin is itching bad already.

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submitted by: Anonymous
on: 06 June 2007
in Scarification

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Location: NYC

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