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My Heart

First off I'd like to say that I did this on my own free will. The actions I have done however have been based on some tiny little thing that has been nudging the back of my mind for some time. But we'll get at that later.

For some time now ie. Grade 3+ I, out of anger or frustration have started scratching at my flesh. I have done that to myself on countless occasions, but only 2.5 have led to scarring. Lucky me eh? I have one big one going down my one arm [right], but that's from my cat and this isn't about that though.

This is about my Heart.

My heart is on my left wrist. By Heart is perfect [to me]. But it's most likely that way because I'm some-what of an artist. Hell I'm a GREAT artist. But now to begin on 1. How it came to be and 2. Why.

Well I have a crush on two boys, see. One is the popular blond-hair blue eyes, the other is your typical tall,lanky brown frizzy/curly haired canadian... eh... The first choice came very close to asking me out. He's a player. I'm shy. He came in a big group. I choosing flee over fight walk away... fast.

The second is my crush... yeah... about that. I will most likely never forget them both.

But they are still my eye kandy. I have thought that no one loves me. Now I know that's not true but then I was confused.

Out of my pain,frustration,guilt,anger and a few other emotions later I decided that I would give my heart a home, so that I could see it, others could and they would know I would never let some one steal my heart away without me knowing.

I set to work one night. Well not really... I was just playing with lip liner/ eye liner and I drew a heart. And the good news was that was[is] the best heart I ever drew. Cool huh?

While I was telling myself, hey you did a good job congrats at drawing[lame I know]I got out my long lost pocket knife, which I found a week earlier and began to trace the heart. I started to apply more and more pressure to it until it was almost bleeding.. almost*

Well I left it for that night and another few so lets fast forward to my birthday March 9. I had some more eye liner out and my swiss. We where going to supper so I was all ready and every thing and had an hour until my mom got off of work. Well finding there was nothing on tv. [800 channels and nothing on them..] fun ... and I decided to start going over it again in the eye liner.

I didn't do a good job before, and only a little scratch remained. After I finished coloring it in aimlessly I decided to do it over again.. and why not?

So after having it actually bleed this time I let up, seeing how its my wrist and all. I covered it with a band aid, and thats the end of it. Until tuesday's art class came...

We are doing print making! And we all know what we make prints with! Good old India Ink. Well seeing how I'm pro in art I was done first an had a cup of Ink at my dispose of.. cool.. Every one must of saw lights go off a minute later when poof! I realized I had a nice little healing heart on my wrist, and ink right in front of me... I picked up the brush I was using and casually said;' This stuff isn't a perm/ substance. Mocking how our art teacher made a big deal of not getting it on your skin/clothes.

So there I sat a brush of ink in one had covering the heart in the other. I let it set in for a few minutes, then got up and washed it off. My beautiful heart outline stood out perfectly. YESSSS...

So now I have a heart on my wrist. There was no pain during any part of the long skippy procedure, and given the chance I'd do it again.

Now no one will have my heart. And most of all no one will break it. This stupid stunt also reminded me that true love will never die, and I am loved. I am loved by my friends and family. I guess that counts more than having an outline of a heart on your wrist though.

I have had one problem though.../ mother. But since I am also the Don of all Liars I am just going to say me and ____ where fooling around and she drew a heart there, and I really like it and I keep going over it. Or something like that.

But if any one wants to do something like what I did. Ask around. If you don't feel loved etc. Ask yer friends!

Details

submitted by: Anonymous
on: 18 March 2007
in Scarification

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Artist: I+did
Studio: Various+Places
Location: Red+Deer+Alberta

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