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Drunk Scarification - a bad idea, a good lesson learned

Scarification and alcohol – there really shouldn't even be a reason for me writing this stupid thing. But I guess someone had to be fucking idiot who did this, so I'll step up to the plate. Body Modification is clearly an area that should done when completely composed, sober, and of sound mind and body. I would first like to say that I LOVE modification – the only thing that makes me happier then modifying my body, and that's music. I love just about every single thing people do to their bodies, even if it's not something I personally would choose to do. But there have been a few things I've been curious about, and one of them is scarification. I fucking love it, but I already have my entire body mapped out for tattoos, so I just had to choke back down my desires to experiment with it. I have become a horrific lush in the past year or two, and last night, in a drunken stupor, and not to mention a piss-poor mood, I needed a pick-me-up. Normally I'd call up my tattoo artist, arrange a session, or pierce myself, but last night I decided to try some DIY scarification. Where? On my face. It made sense at the time; it wouldn't interfere with future tattoo plans, and it was a bold statement to the world that I could cut open my own face and display it with pride, let everyone enjoy my artwork. I didn't even have a scalpel; I just had this butterfly knife I'd picked up a few years back when I was traveling through Tennessee. I didn't want anything big, just 2 diagonal lines running down my right cheek – just something to compliment it, not detract or draw massive amounts of attention. I figured, how hard could it be? Just mark the area, cut, clean, and see how it goes? WRONG. I mark my face with lines without using a striaghtedge, I run the blade under hot water for about 10 minutes, and then I began. Had i been sober, things would have most likely gone fairly smoothly, but like i said before, I'm a lush, and i had easily consumed about 14, 15 drinks. I'm so fucking wasted that I'm seeing like three of everything, yet I proceeded as if all was well. But wait! The alcohol ends up coming in handy. As I begin to cut, there is a lot of blood – I assume that this means I am going deep enough – I am too drunk to remember that your blood thins when you drink, and so really I was not cutting very deep at all. The feeling was fantastic though, almost like an intense heat, as opposed to the pain of being tattooed, which to me feels just like rubbing sandpaper over yourself for a couple hours. I am also so wasted, that I try to go over my lines multiple times, and as I awoke this morning, I can see that there are about 10 different lines running down my cheek – I don't think I managed to make the same line twice. I thoroughly regret not taking pictures of my face at the time – there was tons of blood, really sexy stuff, would have made from some great blood play shots, but I have no camera. More importantly, I couldn't fritter around too much in the bathroom, since if anyone else from my floor had walked in on me doing this, I have no doubts the police would have been called. So alas, I sprayed a salt-water solution over my cheek, cleaned my blade, placed some damp toilet paper over the area and headed off to bed. I awoke this morning feeling like I had a really bad rug-burn on my cheek. I immediately ran to the bathroom to see the damage I had done, but I'm fairly certain none of the cuts will scar, and if they do it will be very minimal. I would still very much like the have those 2 lines cut into my face, but I think as far as DIY scarification, next time I will choose a different area – and I especially will not be drinking (well...not beforehand, haha).
Do I feel stupid? Of course? Am I an idiot? Of course. Luckily, I love my body, I love modification, and I realize that I'm just a stupid 19 year old exploring my body and pushing it to its limits. I am in no way a "cutter" or depressed and trying to mutilate myself as a middle finger for all of modern society – I just made some bad decisions regarding what I feel what would be a relatively healthy idea under different circumstances. My biggest regret is that the end result was not what I had intended – I'm sure as soon my face heals, I can try it again, sober and with a better picture of what I'm doing and how to go about doing it. I hope anyone who reads this can realize that you should be free to modify your body however you feel is best for you - just make sure you know what you're doing, and you're in a healthy, sober state of mind, or else you can really make poor decisions with impacts that can be a lot more severe then youd imagine.


submitted by: Anonymous
on: 22 Feb. 2007
in Scarification

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Artist: Myself
Studio: Floor+Bathroom+in+Dorm+Building
Location: Suny+Oneonta+Campus

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