Therapy through branding
I am not one to complain about my life. i am usually always content with the situation I am usually in. Even when I am not, I find a reasonable way to cope with it all. Some don't think body modification would be a reasonable way to deal with such things, but as of a few months ago, I have reason to believe otherwise. I, too, thought scarification was foolish for the longest time. I have since then seen what a good thing scarification can be.
My gateway into scarification opened up about six months ago, when the sh*t was really hitting the fan in my life. I don't want to go into extremely vivid details, but just to give a small idea of why I was down during this time period, I will tell a little. First of all, I was struggling with my science teacher, and no, this is not a valid reason to complain, but his arrogant and pompous was of failing to teach and hating me just added that much more stress on me.
While this was happening, I was in a band. This band did not get along together in this type of setting at all. Or at least some of us didn't. We were constantly fighting and any time of relaxation I thought I might have had was tainted by the mention of this band. Again, a bad thing to b*tch about, but it just added stress.
Around this time, my mother went to a physical at the doctor's office and the doctor found something none too pleasing. As most know, a lump is often benign and nothing to worry about, but everyone related to someone with a lump worries like hell anyway. This was a bad time as everything was speeding in on eachother.
To make things worse, my father had recently quit smoking. Cigarettes were one of his 3 vices: Drinking, smoking and eating. Once my dad stopped smoking, he doubled the amount he drank. Being a diabetic, only a few drinks would get the man plastered and rather abusive. Not physically abusive, but he was a cranky ahole who picked on everybody and made family dinners a pain in the a every night.
I'm not one to feel blue, or down, but all this stuff was starting to collide. The last straw was when my guitarist was making some silly fuss over some stupid thing and I went berserke. I told them all I was quitting the band and I locked myself in my room, pissed off at everything.
Moping around in self loathing, I looked over to a box of matches. I suddenly got an idea that pain would take the inside pain away. This sounds corny, but in retrospect, this was what I was thinking. First I took a match and held it right to my skin on my wrist until the spot started to blacken. I did this two more times in a triangular pattern. Then I grabbed a paper clip and heated it until it was on the verge of melting and burned the burns deeper into my arm.
Suprisingly, I forgot about my troubles for a few minutes as I was overcome by the rush of burning my skin. It's not painful the way one would think. Of course it hurt during the healing process, but I didn't think about that then.
I made a few mistaker afterwards. Eventually my burns blisterd up and I popped them. At the time I didn't want a scar and this was a dumb thing to do when not wanting a scar. I never really washed the thing or anything.This left 3 deep dark sink-holes on my arm. Eventually it stopped hurting- which it did for a long time. Now I have a pretty cool triangle on my wrist.
The hard part now is explaining the triangle on my wrist. Most people around here look down on this type of stuff. I must have told all sorts of stupid BS. The funniest thing about this was the stuff people would believe. I told some that ash fell on me while smoking, I spilled hot water there while cooking ramen, and other things that would obviously not leave such a perfect pattern, or to the effect it was of.
I definately plan on further exploring scarification in the future. I am happy again, but when I am not, scarification is the best medicine, I believe. Many laugh at this train of thought, but external pain takes away the internal pain, and internal pain is many times worse than external pain. External pain is ignorable, internal is not.
I do not suggest branding in such a crude fashion as I did, the burn hurts alot. It's really not smart, but as your own person, you should really think if it's something you want to endure,
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 06 Sept. 2006