I Like Sharp Pointy Things
Well about 4 days ago I decided I was going to add a new cutting. It was really, really bad timing because, as it happened, it was a very, very hot day in Melbourne, not the best conditions ay? The reason I'd decided to do the cutting then was because my Mum had just said I couldn't go out and I wanted to release some tension, another good reason not to do it. I always keep some blades etc. around the house should I ever come up with a good idea for a cutting and I'd been planning this one since my first attempt. I had some alcohol swabs for disinfecting, (I know they're not the best, but it's all I had) and a disposable scalpel as well as some #10 blades, which I just hold in my fingers. I went into the bathroom and drew the design I wanted above my left nipple. I chose this places because it's near the heart, which I liked because the design really means a lot to me. I'm also hopping to get a professionally done large piece on my stomach so I want to leave it clean. I used a sharpie to mark out my design because I know they're non-toxic and I quite like 'em for my art. I then realised I hadn't disinfected so I grabbed an alcohol swab and went over the drawing. Predictably the ink smudged everywhere, but there was still some lines left and I knew what I wanted anyway so I went ahead. I used the disposable (#11) to do the first lines. It was hard work because of the heat, my nerves and the positioning of the cutting. I had to keep looking down and this made my head faint. But hey, I'm a teenager so I can do whatever I want (rolls eyes.) Because of my light headed-ness and the heat I really took my time on this one. I didn't go deep with the initial cuts, but by the time I had recovered enough to go over it the blood on the scalpel had clotted and made it difficult to cut with so I changed to #10's (my favourites.) The rest of the cutting took another ten minutes or so and after the bleeding stopped I decided not to do any irritation yet reasoning that it needed recutting anyway.
After a few days the scabs dropped off and I was ready to do a touch-up. I did much the same as last time, (though I didn't disinfect,) and found I only had some #11's left. Every other time I've done any cutting I've made it all very formal and controlled however; this time, I just went and did it without giving it much thought at all. I was really surprised how well the #11's worked. The lines work really straight though I couldn't really change angles a bit mid slice or anything. However I went deeper than I've ever gone before and it hardly hurt a bit. I'd compare the pain I usually have to a bad injection, but this; despite the depth, was really like a slight ache. I did bleed a fair bit though. After the bleeding had, (for the most part,) subsided I grabbed the red-wine vinegar and went over the wound. It stung a fair bit, but I was still in a sort of euphoria or something. Of course when I looked back later on that night I had this fear that I hadn't gone deep enough, but I imagine whenever one does self-cutting there's always some concern. It's the next day and the scabs came off. This worries me; surely they shouldn't come off so easily? Again I'm thinking not deep enough, but it certainly looks ok...I went over it again with vinegar, it stung a bit, but then I got some sea salt and rubbed that in. Now that hurts. Vinegar stings for a while and then it's gone, but salt rubs ache for ages. It is painful!
For those of you interested the symbol I've done can be found here: http://www.symbols.com/encyclopedia/39/3932.html
I chose it because I'm planning to add some extra stuff to it and make it into a proper "piece." It truly means a lot to me, I really hope it turns out permanent. So obviously yeah, I would do scarification again, and again, and again. It's great fun and you can really do some great work with it. Bit of practice and I may try and do something a bit more complex than simple line work. But for now I'll just try and stay on the safe side. You DON"T want to stuff one of these up. Man, that'd be so depressing. If you try and do this sort've stuff, do research, be safe and for god's sake use a scalpel. You can buy the blades for 70c! Don't use knifes, razors etc. They're not right for the job. Oh, and I know I'm a hypocrite, but really. I'm no example to be followed, I try to be as safe as possible, but please go to a professional. It's a lot safer and you'll get better results. Cheers and good luck!
submitted by: Mr_Groovy
on: 23 March 2006