My second attempt goes to plan....kind of
Okay, I'm not going to bother with any introductions as I'm sure a few of you know me by now. I have been into body modification ever since I had my ears gunned a twelve years of age. Dad said no to a second pair, I did them myself, got into other areas (some self pierced, some not) and at age eighteen got into the tattoos I have. Fifty six and counting!
However, my scarifications range back from age fourteen when I tried to tattoo myself (the usual way. Biro + compass = colourless scar) and after the whaling I never forgot off my dad for "self mutilation" I was very careful who I told and gradually I got into scarring in states of impatience for a tattoo or because I wanted them.
Anyway, tonight was no different. Having removed a small area of a tattoo myself (very, very stupid idea indeed) I was more accustomed to harsher forms of pain (surviving a painful hip tattoo, the guts to get my neck tattooed to name two) and able to do this.
I have had many a fiasco with botchy self done jobs, like vaginal piercings done poorly and terrible scars that looked as if someone had got berserk with paper scissors and - worst one - a disgraceful mural of a plane on my right thigh which looked as if I used a cake cutter. Since then I have decided to do it sober (fuck pain) to save myself considerable embarrassment.
Tonight, I decided, due to lack of money, that my arm tattoos on my left upper arm looked inexplicably lonely, so I decided a new addition would be great. I decided to go for something simple: three concentric circles. Perfect. I like the idea of scarring around tattoos, it really compliments them and makes both tattoo and scarification look even better
So off I went with the needle (I really do need something sharper) over my neatly traced designs. It took about fifteen minutes of farting about until I got the placements right. I scarped each area individually, constantly wiping away. Pain was minimal, more painful on the first layer of skin for some reason. Soon I had all three filled out, and was going into the long lasting procedure of going over and over by the needle. By now, it was just a very refreshing, pleasant stinging pain (and usually I don't get off from pain, I just crave it when I'm itching for the newest design to go onto my skin). After an hour and a half, I had a tea-and-cigarette break. I made sure I snaffled a proper meal before doing this.
I start up again and notice the bottom areas are shallower. Okay, just make them deeper. Piece of piss, right? Um, no.
The skin layer was a millimetre down and I tried to get it off with all my might. It wouldn't budge no matter how hard I pulled.
In an aggravated state of pique I punched my desk and sent my drink flying over. My mum raced up and I yanked my sleeve down just in time. After an explanation of a bump into the desk and a smile, she left. I resorted to sliding the needle in and plucking it out, using my teeth to pluck it off (not nice) which worked eventually.
Three hours later, avoiding touching anything, I banged the tap on with my elbow and washed. Little blood. The scars have now stopped bleeding and look beautiful along with a nice tickling sort of pain. I'm pleased with it. Except for one thing.....
The only problem is, while doing some online research sponsored by Google for a story on criminal warfare (hehe, I like writing a lot as you probably gathered) and it parries a gang symbol, which I was not happy about. In fact, a barrage of expletives ensued at the nasty coincidence. So tomorrow I am going to add a few stars to it, in order to make it look better and not to have any shenanigans of being a sodding gang member.
Anyone who does this, I'd recommend you be careful but I know what you are like hehe, you want it and you want it now, no matter what's involved. So my advice is, sterilise everything and wash hands before and after aggravating the wound should you wish to make it last longer. Go for it, it's easy and safe as long as you concentrate, are careful and sterile, and you're not doing it to harm yourself to escape your woes. Get it for your happiness when you're happy.
And anyone who says that you're self harming when in fact happily dabbling with a beautiful and different form of body art, tell them, in no uncertain terms, to hump off! (Politely, of course!). Just wanted to add this bit of advice for people who arrive in the fiasco of parents-seeing-and-calling-the-doctor, explain what it's for and that you did it to add to the one bit of canvas you can decorate with whatever you want - your body. Be calm and show you're pleased they care, and if you can offer to show them BME.
Thanks for reading, and happy scarring
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 11 March 2006