Scarring a swastika on my penis
Before I begin, I am a white male, 50 years old and happily partnered. Well, I have been thinking for a long time about cutting a swastika somewhere on myself. On his website, Manwoman says the swastika was a power and fertility symbol used by many cultures before the Nazis got hold of it in the '30s and basically destroyed forever its sanctity and meaning in western culture. One of Manwoman's projects is to get the swastika back into circulation again. I agree with him on this and so I decided the best way I could do this is to cut a small swastika into my penis. I decided to put it on my penis because it's a place where I'd want a power and fertility symbol and it's private enough where no one would see it on the street and shoot me for having a keloid in such a "blasphemous" design.
I wondered how I should go about cutting the symbol as I have never cut anything into my skin before, so I read up lots on BME and tried to do as many of the cautionary things as I could at home without getting into a lot of expense. Instead of a scalpel for example, I used one of the blades from a Gillette disposable razor, which I figured out how to remove from the plastic bracket that holds them (quite simple once you figure out the plastic buttons that hold the head together must be cut off with a single edge razor blade). Removing these blades provides you with two little ~2" blades, the sharp corners of which make fine scalpels.
The afternoon of my cutting, I made sure no one else was in the house, so I would have about two uninterrupted hours for whatever was to happen. I didn't do much preparation in terms of special meals or anything because I thought if the going got too tough, I was just going to call it a day and stop. When I sat down to do the cutting, I made sure that I washed my penis very carefully and also I dropped the blades into a small cup of 91% alcohol, where they sat for about 20 minutes while I was thinking over how I would deal with the pain and blood involved. I thought also about how I would cut the design into my penis, and decided that I would position it so that the crossbars of the swastika would be at exactly north, east, south and west (instead of NE, SE, SW and NW as it is sometimes [infamously] seen). I also decided that my swastika would be composed of single lines instead of the "bars" one would get if one were to do a skin removal. (I thought the single lines would be the best approach for my first time ever doing any cutting and I just didn't have any idea what to expect in terms of pain and blood, etc.).
I sat down to begin the cutting in the west window of our bathroom at about 2:30 PM. The day was clear and there was a fresh cool breeze coming in the window (thank goodness: this fresh air helped more than anything) and the sun shone brightly down onto my penis, which was very fortunate as it made it quite easy to see what I was doing. After getting one of the blades out of the alcohol I let it air dry and began to cut the horizontal crossbar of the swastika. I did no preliminary line drawings on my penis but just went for it instead. I have always had pretty steady hands when it comes to design and drawing, and since I was cutting I was going very slowly so I anticipated there would not be much in the way of a mistake that I couldn't correct before it got too bad. I had a pretty decent hard-on also at this point, because this was a real thrill obviously! It was good that I had the hard-on too because it drew the skin a little tighter and made it easier to cut a straight line.
The first crossbar was easy to cut. I didn't have to use much pressure at all because the blade was so incredibly sharp. There was a fair amount of blood considering I didn't think I was going that deep, and I was most concerned about not going so deep that the blade would nick the blue vein on the top of my penis. Fortunately I never did go that deep. The pain was do-able, and in fact it was more like pressure and a kind of painful stinging rather than sheer pain. I was surprised that my penis wasn't more sensitive than it was to what I was doing, but perhaps it was because I just wasn't going that deep into the flesh. When I was finished with the first crossbar, I had a straight, single, horizontal line of blood about 7/8" long on the top of my penis half way between my body and the head of my penis.
I dabbled the blood from the first line up with a Kleenex and then proceeded to do the vertical crossbar. It went equally well, and I found I was quite able to manage the stinging and moderate pain the cutting created. After I did the vertical crossbar, I dabbled the blood up and took a brief break and just looked out the window. Five minutes later, I began to cut the four arms of the swastika in the same fashion, and cleaned up in the same way. When I was finished with the whole thing, I found the blood was beginning to clot over all the cuts I'd made, and I decided I was finished for the day. I washed my penis again, put on clean underwear (no need for a bandage really as the bleeding had quit) and put the blades away in the closet.
Next day, I noticed the scabs that had formed were not quite as even as I had hoped they would be, so I took a few minutes in the bathroom that afternoon (my family was home so I couldn't take too much time) to retrace a couple of the cuts with one of the blades again. This time the cutting hurt more than it had the previous day, but I figured this was from the edema and general sensitized condition of the skin under the cuts. Once I had even cuts again, I cleaned up and put the blades away. This recutting took all of 10 minutes perhaps.
The third day, the scabs were looking OK, and I decided that I needed to try to work up a keloid, however light it might be, so I took a toothbrush and rubbed the cuts vigorously. This hurt very much compared to any of the cutting I'd done, and the skin became quite swollen and red in response to the rubbing. Also, some bleeding resumed on a couple of the cuts. After rubbing the cuts for a couple of minutes, I washed the whole cutting with hydrogen peroxide and a cotton ball, which stung to beat hell. The stinging however subsided in a few minutes.
Over the next few days I repeated this procedure and gradually as the scabs crusted off I noticed a very light keloid forming in the shape of the swastika. After two weeks the keloid was pretty much fully formed and the redness had all but disappeared. Today, a little over a month later, the keloid is very subtle and I think quite beautiful. It shines just a little when the light hits it correctly and now that she has finally seen it (a story in itself) my partner finds it beautiful as well. It is not very pink like some keloids, but it is just a little raised compared to the surrounding skin, which is about what I had hoped for. I am also pleased that even when my penis is soft, the swastika still appears straight although a little truncated looking in the vertical direction. Still I am quite happy it went so well and comparatively painlessly. I am looking forward to doing other cuttings on my skin, and I think that I may also get the swastika on my penis enhanced or embellished sometime if I can find someone who does cuts and who is willing to work on a penis as well.
submitted by: Anonymous
on: 26 July 2005